Is the jump from having one child to having two easier than from none to one?

[hunkermunker]

??

[WideWebWitch]

yes, haven't read thread but god, none to one was shocking, one to two much, much, much less so. piece of p* in fact, compared to the first time. But good big age gap, fab partner etc, it all helps.

[logic]

Cheers, lockets. It will get better won't it? I have to keep repeating this to myself. I'm only on here because dd is (finally) asleep on dh's chest and now I can't sleep!

[SamN]

what a good question to ask hm.

I agree with logic and puff. Some things are easier, because you're used to having a kid already, but others are a lot harder. I have found the first year exceedinly difficult. Ds2 has been v ill and ds1 has gone from being lovable boy to grumpy big brother and I feel guilty about how little attention I give him. (We have about 27 months between them. Ds2 is 1 now and Ds3 is 3y4m.)

but strangely, I feel like I've changed into more of an earth mother with ds2. Perhaps it's the sling wearing and bed sharing?

[sassy]

Massively easier.

The first few weeks are a blur but once you'vegot the new one feeding/sleeping pattern established a bit it quickly settles down. I LOVE having 2!

(Never get a moment to myself though. Can't wait until dd2 (7mo) starts going to bed at 7pm and I get my evenings back)

[logic]

She's 10 weeks, lockets - I have taken her to see a cranial osteopath once but she has gone on holiday so I will have to wait a couple of weeks to see her again.

[spidermama]

I remember feeling incredibly busy after having number two. I was constantly on the go with no let up. Once I learned there would be no let up, and I let go of my ambitions to, say, read the paper or watch telly, things got easier.

I don't know what your gap is Hunkermunker, but mine was just 15 months and I wouldn't recommend it.

It really helped that I was still feeding dd1 because there didn't seem to be the jealousy. I also found that co-sleeping meant I could make the most of my nights.

This sounds so awful to some people, but it's not meant to be: I found things much easier when I was able to let go of my ego and my personal needs and throw myself into motherhood. That way, there was less conflict of interest, I could focus entirely on the job of mothering and the whole thing became easier.

[ScummyMummy]

I have twins as my first children so went straight from 0 - 2. Everyone always said "Oh what a shock it must have been, couldn't cope with 2 at once, my 1 is hard enough." But I have a theory that actually the hard bit of having babies is not necessarily the baby itself though obviously some are harder work than others but more the shock of parenthood. I think with your first the shock of parenthood is massive whether you have 1, 2 or 5 at once, though clearly 5 would be a logistical nightmare of stomach churning proportions. It's about having someone (sometwo in my case) more important than yourself in your life and having to subvert your lives to care for them. I think that for many parents the adjustment to the shock means that subsequent babies seem easier. For others more babies extend and deepen the shock so it all seems that much harder!

[mumbee]

I have just read through this thread and it has remind me what it was like ( now Dd is 6y and Ds is 4y) their is 17 months between them

Had a new kitchen/dinning room built on to house when 7 months PG with Ds completed 2 weeks before Christmas, also lost my father early on in PG, That was Hell, Ds born in Jan.

Both had colic, difficult for first 3 months, feeding was never easy for either of them, Dd easy to put down form 4months Ds nightmare form 7 months at 8 months DH went to NY just after 9/11/2001.

The rewards a friend who look after Ds one after noon a week so Dd and I could be alone was bliss, Dh who sent me out for day trips once or twice a year, bliss. I had two well adjusted toddlers. Cleaning went on the back burner most of the time, laundry and feeding were the only chores done.

So is the jump easier no!!!! but it is far more satisifing to look back with rose tinted glasses

[tortoiseshell]

Hmm, second time around I found dd easier than ds had been, BUT the big difference was the first time I didn't have an elder child. I think with your first you are on such a steep learning curve, but certainly in the first weeks you are at home, with nothing else you need to do, can devote your time to baby, reading books about babycare etc. Baby can sleep when it wants to, be fed when it wants to...

Second time, you have the same demands of the baby, but a toddler to deal with as well - where I took ds out in the pram for walks lots, went to the shops with friends to wander round looking at baby clothes etc, it was impossible with dd, because it wouldn't be a nice relaxing stroll pushing a pram, it would be a full on 'get the 2 year old round the shops without breaking something'. So yes I do think it's harder going from 1-2 than from 0-1, but I don't think it's a difference you would notice unless you analyse it iyswim!

[tortoiseshell]

Was rambling a bit there, forgot that the hardest thing with dd was the mornings. Ds and I enjoyed lovely lazy mornings, getting dressed when we were both ready. With dd, ds had to be up and out for playgroup, so we just HAD to be ready at a fixed time.