What mad/batty things does your MIL do or say/or has she done?

[meggymoo]

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Aparantly my best friends mum was found giveng her grand daugher a chicken bone covered in brandy cos the baby was teething. She was never asked to babysit again. Although this is same lady who wanted her pregnant daughter to drink alot of alchohol cos 'it wont harm baby i drank gin when i was pregnant 'hic'. She also though i was gay and wanted to date her daughter! lol

Mine farts (noticably noisy) while washing up and carries on as if nothing has happened, meanwhile, I just can't speak for smirking!

lol @ Aero - i do that.. though i then blame ds

i have no mil, she died whe dh was a baby
however ex mil was/is barmy,
when i used to go to theres and dd needed feeding, she shut me in a room on my own and forbade her dh from walking past the door

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Mine sat for us overnight when the DDs were quite small, so she was early 60s at the time (not much older than me now in fact!).

We found out later from a friend of mine (who saw her that afternoon) that she put some sausages under a very low grill just after lunch and then took the girls out all afternoon .

They had sausages for tea that were burnt black on one side and raw on the other but at least the house didn't catch fire.

My MIL phoned me up the week before my wedding to give me tips for the wedding night, such as having a pint of water to drink after sex to avoid cystitis. Have NEVER seen dh so embarrassed.

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meggymoo, my MIL told me her mother ddidnt think babies should look into mirrors because they would see the devil.

load of baloney if you ask me.

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Mine's normally v nice but when dd was 3 weeks old she came to stay. i was struggling with bf & she took dd and said to her "mummy's not making you enough milk, is she?".....was really upset.

LOL, especially at tortoiseshell and trefusis

My MIL sorted her daughter's house out while she was in hospital with MIL's first grandchild. So when SIL came home, she not only had to cope with newborn, she also could not find her knickers, socks or J-cloths.

MILis so highly organised, she makes lunch while we are eating breakfast. I have memories not fond ones, tbh of her stowing cabbage and apple charlotte in the warming drawer of the hostess trolley at 9am. Imagine how they tasted at 12.45.

Oh no - I can hardly bear this thread - MIL is coming to stay - for SIX WEEKS! Any day now.

She is very kind and sweet, but amongst her idiosyncarcies, she follows dp to the toilet, standing outide shouting 'have you got diarrohea?' 'are you constipated?' - and anyone is liable to a similiar interrogation, usually over breakfast. It's like a scene from Portnoys Complaint.
She likes to partially cook chicken the day before, 'to save time' and then leaves it shut in the microwave overnight (yes, in this heat) and finishes it off in the morning.
She talks non-stop, and cannot mention any food or meal without reeling off at least 16 recipes for different ways she likes to prepare it.
She sets up a little hindu shrine above the ironong board in case of sudden need to pray.

Help!

when we were moving into this house, she helped out to pack some things in our old flat. she put all our stuff (some of it quite precious or expensive) in black binbags. this really annoyed me and i said "stop getting on my nerves". she took dd in her car to drive to the new house and as i walked over to say byebye to my dd she locked the doors to her car. i was furious and she wrecked what should have been a really great day.

My dp's mum is an incredibly admirable woman in many ways, far far more admirable than me, but the next time she goes on and ON about how her sodding son and I are 'the ideal modern couple' because we share childcare I am going to list everything we each do over the course of a week. And the next time she tells me not to worry so much because the Inferiorettes are bound to grow up literate, educated and lovely just because they have 'such lovely parents' (how? By osmosis? By a mysterious genetic inheritance of university degrees) I shall bellow.

Oh, and the next time she ascribes some quite specific physical feature of one of the kids to a particular relative - 'she has those eyebrows she must get from my father' - I shall point out just what rubbish that is. AND the next time she tells me how DD1 is her own image as a child I shall get my own baby photos out....

When I was pg, MIL telphoned dh with a list of pregnancy do's and dont's (for him to pass on to me lol).

Among the many gems were to drink a glass of champagne every day (knowing I had chosen not to drink at all during pg - but "champagne can't harm you")
and not to carry on dyeing my hair whilst pg (I wasn't going to anyway) but then saying to dh about me "You do know she dyes her hair don't you?"

As I was living with dh at the time and pg with his child, he obv did know and my hair is obv dyed blonde (however the subject had never been discussed between me and MIL)

Oh yes , mi, (did you have a nice holiday btw?)that's one of my faves, the one where I obviously had no genetic input at all into dd.

Oh and when I was newly pregnant with no1, we were visiting the ILs, and MIL cornered me in the sitting room when the men were out doing manly things with sheds. She produced a baby bath and a large soft toy and proceeded to show me 'how to bathe baby'

'You must support the neck... like this'

I was about 15wks

Ah, Motherinferior, so you were on holiday. I nearly started a thread.

My MIL really pees me off when she gazes at DH all misty eyed as he shoves a few fish fingers in the oven with smiley faces and opens a can of beans. "How lovely, you're soooo lucky to have a man who can cook, I hope you appreciate him"

re the 'bone' thing - my SIL gave both her DD's bones to chew on while teething - even before then they loved them .........but no alcohol LOL.

when i was preg with dd3 she said ooh youmay be lucky and get a boy this time ..