run 'em out of town

[Tortington]

does anyone else think we are a visious lot?

the tone on mumsnet can be disturbing
is that sensitivity thresholds have been lowered or smirky nasty inbetween the line kinda comment more privalent?

any one else any views?

something very weird is going on with my computer - apologies to all

Well I still love mumsnet.

I have been posting for about 6 months and still as hooked as ever.

Agree with the comments about you can't always tell what a person means and if you do not 100% agree with what they are saying then it would be very easy to read something into it that 'sometimes' isn't there.

A lot of threads are not to my taste, I just ignore them and normally miss out on something because it either changes or not as the title suggests.

I think that there has been a lot of this sort of thing lately, particularly people banging on about how mumsnet has changed, thats life, I do not see why people can not just skim through or ignore threads that they are not interested in, I must admit that it does get my back up when people go on about the chatty threads and that because as some of you know I have not had the best few weeks of my life and the other night while my DH worked late, if it wasn't for my drinking thread I think I have just gone to bed early and cried my eyes out or got myself into such a state.

I am very fond of both M2T and custardo, and hope that these matters are resolved soon and we can just live and let live.

It doesn't want to let you stop posting for those 2 weeks, Willow

M2T, I'm not trying to bash mumsnet - it just seams a shame that we're almost doomed to this circle as each new wave of people come to the site and either inadvertantly re-open old wounds or stamp their own personality and wishes on the form of the site.

mumsnet will always change as people come and go but we've got to find a way of accommodating the new people's wishes without alienating the more longstanding members who are understanably quite defensive of the site (for myself, it, and therefore you, have been with me through a very important time of my life).

The recent trend towards chat (and quite aestoteric styles of chat as well) can leave many of us feeling as though we've stumbled into a foreign country as it's not what we're used to finding here. That's why I support the chat area idea, as it would give a forum for those conversations and let those of us who are not interested use our "Active conversations" button to find threads on 'important' topics such as wet tits

There has always been a place for the funny and the frivellous - it's a necessary antidote to some of the other things that are discussed here - recently though I feel more and more like I've stumbled into a student union than the site I've spent/dedicated so much time to.

Cheers Breeze -

Do you ever get the feeling you are repeating yourself over and over again and banging your head against a brick wall??

Supression is a terrible thing to inflict on people.

Yes M2T When I speak to you frequently. >Joke< (Did I do it right)

Careful breeze...... I'm verging on tears.

Also been posting for a few months now and love the site. Have the founders or moderators complianed about the so called "chatty sites" because surely it is their opinion that matters as its their site.
Also this reminds me of me and my brother, I think deep down you all love the fighting.

Might add I am due on and probably would not have posted this under normal circumstances.

Custardo means, I am sure, that she feels as if SHE has been run out of town. Is that right Custardo? That's what I assumed certainly.
I also (head above parapet) absolutely loathe the whole zsa zsa 'joke'. I very much valued the honesty and transparency of Mumsnet - I really felt I knew real people here (of course we don't all love each other but that's different & normal) but this kind of opaque 'joke' character make me uneasy. It's my opinion and I'm entitled to it. I'm not a chatroom fan either, personally. Maybe a chat area would be good.
I'm really, really uneasy about posting this... but...I felt the Special Needs section is now so separate from the main board that I feel I can't go there at all. The first 'Proud' thread that I really enjoyed seemed to peter out because (& I may be wrong here) people felt that it was somehow insensitive to post their joys when they were things that might not happen to those posting on the Special Needs thread (swimming 25 yards, learning their colours etc). I may be completely out of order here, but I liked the inclusive nature of mumsnet - and I would be as happy that someone's child learned to roll over at two years as six months, depending on their personal circumstances, and I liked hearing about the progress of say, Jimjam's kids alongside anyone else's. Does this make sense to anyone but me?

PLEASE don't take that the wrong way, Jimjams, PLEASE!!! I'm just using your family circumstances as ones I have been fascinated to read about and feel I have learned a huge amount from.

Bouncy you've hit the nail right on the head. Some people just love an argument.

I said mumsnet had changed a while ago and it certainly has. Its much harder to say anything controversial. So I dont.

Often I have felt like sticking up for certain people but am worried about then getting involved in something that gets out of hand...

Wasnt that how Nazi Germany started...

I think I've just solved ALL of mumsnet problems. How about there's a 24 hour delay on everything you post with a proper review button... that way things posted in the heat of the moment could be easily retracted in the cold light of day with everyone being none the wiser. Of course, all conversation would be completely destroyed, but it's a small price to pay

I have to say that it's the heated discussions that have really taught me lots. I didn't agree with lots of what was said on the downs syndrome article in the guardian recently, but boy do I know so much more about DS now. The GF threads, the MMR threads, all of them actually have a very high quality of debate in them which really helps stretch what I think about issues - yes, they can get a bit hot in there, but I can choose to bow out when I can't take the heat anymore.

Parenting topics are bound to get heated. It's something we're all highly passionate about - hell, even some people who don't have kids get passionate about it - just do a google search on anything related to "childfree"

Part of that passion is that it's very easy to feel defensive about our own particular stances. Sometimes it does us good to get defensive - it makes us think more carefully about just what it is that we're defending. Sometimes it causes devisiveness and harm (usually accompanied by the "lalalala I can't hear you!" approach). It's a very grey and faint line between the two.

As for the silly threads, they're a natural part of it too. We're all stressed enough in our daily lives that we desperately need to blow off steam from time to time. Some choose to do it here, others elsewhere, but we all do it. I don't see that mumsnet is somehow an "inappropriate" forum to do this in if we want it truly to be a community - in some ways it humanises the person behind the typing and can reduce keyboard warrior tendencies elsewhere (all in my opinion of course).

See, the great thing about the internet is, that it's a very freeing medium. I can click what I find interesting, and ignore the stuff I don't with far more ease than I ever can with the telly (which is why the telly usually stays off in our household and we have an always on internet connection). I actually read a lot of the special needs stuff even though I don't have a special needs child, simply because I'm interested. I don't bother with a lot of the social stuff, because I get my social stuff elsewhere, and I blow off steam on my weblog or in chatrooms not on mumsnet - that's my personal preference.

Oh and I think this cartoon is relevant to the discussion:

Angst Technology

• georginaA

Willow2, Buffy is approaching its last ever episode and you are going to abstain from posting?!!

Georgina.. LOL!

Bah I spend half an hour finely crafting my post, and all you lot do is laugh at the cartoon

Can I flounce now, pleeeeaaaase?

Flounce away Georgina.... noone reads your posts anyway.

joke

Well no-one reads my weblog, and I've lost count of how many rejection letters I've had for articles... so it's not much of a surprise

But GeorginaA, re the cartoon, I think that's what's different about mumsnet: people don't generally just post in reply to the original question being asked, they mostly take the time to read the other responses first (surely it's not just me? It certainly doesn't feel like it). When they don't have time you often see something like "sorry if I'm repeating someone else, I haven't read all the responses". Janeway, I agree with a lot of your post and with yours Croppy. I find the chat threads utterly banal and so I mostly don't read them. And quite frankly, who cares who Zsa Zsa is - I'd like to see her go too. It is irritating to me to come to active conversations to find that a lot of the active 25 are chat, since it means doing a search for the conversations that I find interesting. OK, so I'm lazy though, it's probably not a big deal for lots of people.

Aloha, re the special needs thread I did think it was completely out of order that someone was told they shouldn't post their opinion there recently. I appreciate that it was a sensitve subject being discussed (but a lot of parenting issues are, as someone else said )but to be fair the discussion was running on 2 threads with VERY similar titles and it's the first time I've ever seen somone told to "get out of this thread, it's NOT for everyone to read or contribute to, it's OURS" (I paraphrase). That made me uneasy and I said so at the time. All discussions should be open to all, regardless of your child or views. Apart from that I've learned a lot from the special needs threads too, although I mainly read and don't often contribute.

I like the heated discussions and the intelligent level of debate here too and I miss some of the older posters who don't seem to be around much atm. But maybe they're not around for other reasons and it has nothing to do with the changes in mumset? Who knows? I've learned a lot from this site and made friends on line and in the real world. I think there's a place for the frivolous and funny here too though, definitely, and I think it's up to Carrie, Justine and Rachel to decide what to do about the chat, allow it or move it to somewhere other than active conversations? I do like and approve of their general non interventionist policy though, exactly as it should be IMO.

Yes I know, www, I was just out for a cheap laugh...

GeorginaA, sorry if I sounded humourless, I'm not, honest!