Do I have to see a HV?

[Kelly1978]

Hi,
I've just had a message from the HV asking me to call her or take the dts (12 weeks) to baby clinic. Well, I don't want to! There is nothing wrong with them, they are putting on weight and growing nicely, I don't see why I should have to go check them in. Thing is, am I going to be seen as a bad mother for not takign them, or contacting her? Do I have to see the HV?

I'm avoiding mine next time round (argh!) you could weigh them on the kitchen/bathroom scales 'Google' a pounds/oz to KG weight convertor and write it in the red books if you're worried about the weight or anything (which you don't sound like you are) all you need the HV for is jabbing them with nasty needles!

kelly hiya no u don't have to see the HV With dd1 I saw mine all the time but moved up north after dd2 and only saw her once...

also a hv came to talk to us yesterday on my home start training course and we also asked this question and it's not a legal requirement for u to see a hv

Oh thanks for that. I didn't mind my old hv, took dd regularly. With ds, I didn't bother as I was too busy. Now I have the dts I'm even busier and don't need the hassle. Plus she seems a bit of an interferring old bag tbh. I'll take them for check ups and jabs and leave it at that.
I was weighing them on the kitchen scales, out of interest more than anything, but they are too heavy now!

Agree with everyone, you don't have to go.

Yes agree.

Mine upset me the first time she visted after DD was born. I promptly showed her the door and haven't had any contact with her since.

I really don't knwo what it is with HVs - so many of them seem to just rile mothers. Mine kept going on about overcrowding, and insisting I should get on to the council for housing (don't want to). I have to get babies weighed (don't want to). And should be givign them extra formula and water (don't need to). This was all in the one and only visit I've had. Since then I've had her phonign to try to get me down the baby clinic but so far I've dug my heels in.

They refused to let me weigh them with clothes on, even though I know how much their clothes weigh, They did promise assistance but even when I went for their jabs I had to demand it, and they still walked straight off and left me with two very upset babies.

I know they aren't all the same, my last one was lovely. She even offered to visit me for ds to be weighed and checked since i had two kids on my own. And she never told me what to do, jsut offered suggestions when I asked for help.

I know what you mean!!!

Mine delved so much into my life and my relationship with my partner and in the end I thought "you know what? it is none of your business" and showed her the door.

Doctors do all of DD's jabs and opticians for eyes.

I dont intend to see her at all once this little one comes along unless there is real reason to!

mind you it quite surprises me that she has never tried to contact me.

don't blame u. I wish I had the guts to do that. Mine even wanted to know how much money we had comign in.

On my HV's first visit, she weighed dd who has lost 8oz of birth wt (3 wks old) and all the advice i got was - you will have to top her up with a bottle. Really I needed someone who could look at my difficulties at the time and offer advice based on my circumstances. I was suffering the flu, had no appetite and could hardly look after myself and my poor dd. DH had to go back to work - in Glasgow 2.5 hrs away and was not to be back till the wkend - we didn't and I didn't know how poorly I was. Strange but true but I could not see the woods for the trees. And that I had a difficult pg and delivery and was still weak from that experience!

The helpful people on Mumsnet gave me better advice. DD hadn't even lost 10% of birthwt so there was no need for concern.

Second visit 2 wks later: weighed dd who had gained 16 oz in 2 wks on breast milk.

On third visit, made me fill out an ABCD questionnaire to determine if I had PND while she relaxed. It was as sophisticated as something from a magazine.

Everytime she has left a bunch of handouts telling me nothing I don't already know.

Next visit 29th June. HMMMMMMM. May be her last. If I don't find it useful, I will ask the content of the next visit and decide from there if she ought to bother.

I am sure that they are useful for teen mums who have little life experience. Unless, there are better more informed HV's out there. I think I will just attend the clinic to get DD her shots when I get notified that they are due.

stick with mumsnet
It is really bad though, that lots of mums can't get the help and support they need. I'm fairly confident now I'm on my third and fourth, but on my first I needed advice and help.