H.M. Mumsnet

[snickers]

Right then you orrible dodgy lot. In you go...

Lights out in fifteen. Is that drugs you 'as got stashed in your knickers? No dealing in cigarettes. You should have thought about that before you got drunk at the Mums Arms! Remove that bow and arrow - I don't care if there are Scots and Welsh in here too...

Now we have to answer "yes" to the "know anyone in prison" question then

But, I only stole a bottle of tippex when I was 12, I keyed the car of an ex who didn't pay up the money he owed me, I only wrote on the toilet walls at school, and I ran out of pizza hut when I was 17 when we didn't have enough money to pay the bill. Only one off crimes, surely I could be excuses for that your honour.

I'm sure you all have your excuses - but I is just the prison guard I'm afraid. In here you all just "Bad Girls"

(Ooooh - get you keying your ex BFs car! Please don't hold a grudge when you get out in... Oh 117 years!!!!!!!!)

I was 16 years of age and he owed me £45, which is a lot of money when your 16. I was drunk as well (thats probably got me some points)

yes!