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Original poster

Would you do this?

308 replies

CountessDracula · 06/06/2005 20:36

Am going away to stay in a hotel. Have a 300m range listening device (dd aged 2.8 is coming with us). There is a beach bar 50 yds away from the hotel. If we checked that the monitor worked and left a radio on in the room on low vol. to ensure that we hadn't lost connection, could we go down to beach bar in the evening or is that really bad? She almost never wakes up in the evening.

OP posts:
Bugsy2 · 06/06/2005 22:16

Lets not get too paranoid here. Al sorts of ghastly far fetched & unlikely tragedies could happen: freak psunami waves, earthquakes, volcanos, forest fires etc etc. I actually think it was rather mean of someone to bring up the possibility that your child could choke to death. Does that mean you never leave a child with a babysitter - unless they are fully up to speed with the correct heinrich technique for your age of child?
I bet CD must be wishing she never posted.

ninja · 06/06/2005 22:18

I have to say I'd probably do the buggy thing. Saying that I'd happily have a party in our garden (admittedly small garden) without a baby monitor where I probably couldn't hear her. Then our dd is a poor sleeper

Sponge · 06/06/2005 22:21

We've done baby listening which amounts to the same thing - probably further away than 50m from room. We thought about the monitor thing exactly as you suggest CD when dd was the same age as yours but she wouldn't go to sleep so we ended up taking her to the bar with us.
Yes something terrible might happen but it might at home, it might any time, it almost certainly won't. We put our kids to bed every night and don't check on them every 5 minutes - we go to them if they cry.
Go for it if it works in the context of the hotel once you get there and have a great holiday.

joash · 06/06/2005 22:27

Definatly not!!!!

Original poster
CountessDracula · 06/06/2005 22:29

Goodness me! I can't believe the response on this.

Well I had never thought of choking etc. We don't use a monitor at home, so we don't hear her from 8pm until she wakes up so the risk is equal here if she vomited and choked we wouldn't hear esp if tv on. She is almost 3 fgs! We are only going to Dorset not anywhere glam - the beach bar belongs to the hotel and is virtually adjacent by all accounts. We weren't planning to go for long, maybe half an hour max. We are planning to eat with dd and then put her to bed. She is still in a cot and has never climbed out so no worries about her roaming around the room. Re the fire risk, obv I would let reception know in case there was a problem and they could run up and get her but tbh I feel that is unlikely.

I will test out the monitor I think and then see if we can hear.

I now feel some of you may lynch me for this - my Mum and Dad live next door to each other, we put dd to bed in my mum's and have dinner at my dad's often without any listening device at all Pop next door every 15 mins to check she is ok and she always is - don't go upstairs to check, just listen to see if she is crying.

I really can't believe that all of you who say no to this actually listen closely to your kids all the time - when do you relax if so?? If she was 6 months old then maybe.

OP posts:
Original poster
CountessDracula · 06/06/2005 22:33

why joash? Come on only NO won't do, need reasoning!

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lemonice · 06/06/2005 22:34

CD You are one lucky lady mine all climbed out of their cot well before then, what a Godsend!!

Sounds OK to me by the way I misread earlier as 300 metres from the hotel and somehow assumed it was in a hotspot on the continent!

LGJ · 06/06/2005 22:35

CD

I am with you.....................but I posted too late in for you to see.

aloha · 06/06/2005 22:37

I think it sounds lovely. Sigh. Beach bar....
However, was imagining the carribbean softly lapping on white sands rather than brisk English waves on shingle, but hey, a bar is a bar is a bar. Can you tell I don't get out much these days?
She'll be fine.

aloha · 06/06/2005 22:38

See, so excited, spelling gone to pot.

moondog · 06/06/2005 22:38

I want to know about your parents living next door to each other! Sounds fascinating..

Gwenick · 06/06/2005 22:39

I really can't believe that all of you who say no to this actually listen closely to your kids all the time - when do you relax if so??

OOoh I certainly don't listen to them all the time (18 months and 4 3/4yrs) I sit upstairs in the study (which is slightly 'seperate' from where their bedroom is)............with the door SHUT!

I only hear if one of them screams loudly

Have to say jealous that she's still in a cot - DS1 came out of a cot at 20 months (too bit for it, kept waking himself up bangingon the sides) and I have a nasty feeling DS2 (houdini who can escape from a zipped up growbag) will be escaping from his cot soon - he's 18 months

joash · 06/06/2005 23:10

NO - for much the same reasons as everyone has already given.
Monitor might not work,
Potential Illness (vomiting, etc),
Choking risk,
Fire risk,
Someone entering room risk,

Whichever way you look at it - it is neglect. If you were happy doing it, then surely you wouldn't be asking if anyone else would do it. Imagine how you'd feel if something did happen - 50 yds is a long way when it's a child that's at risk. We did use a baby monitor with GS and our room is only 7 yards from his - we didn't hear him vomiting, and the monitor didn't pick it up. We found him the next morning covered in vomit, he was taken into hospital with dehydration.

Original poster
CountessDracula · 06/06/2005 23:13

Oh bollocks is it neglect

Neglect is leaving your child in stinking faeces and not feeding them. Hitting them. Stubbing cigarettes out on them. Shouting at them. Ignoring them. Not telling them you love them.

GET REAL

OP posts:
Original poster
CountessDracula · 06/06/2005 23:14

moondog, it's a long story...

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handlemecarefully · 06/06/2005 23:17

CD
I wouldn't do it - but only because I would worry that dd would wake up, be frightened and I might not hear her above the noise of the bar.

However I don't think you are at all wrong to consider it, and I think it is perfectly safe. So if you are comfortable with it then go for it.

gaelsgirl · 06/06/2005 23:18

I'd give it a go and see if it worked cd

joash · 06/06/2005 23:18

CountessDracula - FYI, it is neglect;

"A number of studies have sought to measure neglectful behaviour. Child Protection outlines the following subcategories, as recognised by many Department of Social Services (Child Protection Newsletter, 1998, p.3):

  • Physical neglect: o Inadequate supervision"
feelingold · 06/06/2005 23:18

When we go on holiday we go to the room when out kids go to bed and they are 10, 9 and 5. I would never have been able to relax at all if I had left them (but thats just me). We take a drink to the room with us and because we have had such a busy day (we cram as many activities into our days as we possibly can so we are usually exhausted) we tend to go to bed fairly early ourselves.

flashingnose · 06/06/2005 23:20

If I'm in a shop and take my eyes off dd2 for 10 seconds to rummage in my purse and she disappears, is that neglect?

Original poster
CountessDracula · 06/06/2005 23:20

I think you will find Joash that I am putting in place adequate supervision. What the fuck do you think the baby monitor is for? And the people on reception?

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lemonice · 06/06/2005 23:23

Inadequate supervision is surely a discretionary legal term..not really applicable here

morocco · 06/06/2005 23:23

how on earth can it be called neglect???
sense of perspective please
I might not do it myself but I am a little paranoid and my kids are appalling sleepers, but then again, I might - I'd probably ruin the whole evening rushing backwards and forward to double check the monitor, falling over tables, waking them both up etc etc but I wouldn't not do it because I thought it might be dangerous. Enjoy the holiday CD - sounds lovely

LGJ · 06/06/2005 23:23

CD

Step away...............you are a sorted lady.........you do not need to seek affirmation on here.

Just walk away, you will expand more energy being angry about posts on here, than you will worrying about whether you should or not.

morocco · 06/06/2005 23:25

btw inadequate supervision means things like leaving your toddler alone in the garden with a big uncovered pond right next to them and then going inside to have a nice cup of coffee