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Would you do this?

308 replies

CountessDracula · 06/06/2005 20:36

Am going away to stay in a hotel. Have a 300m range listening device (dd aged 2.8 is coming with us). There is a beach bar 50 yds away from the hotel. If we checked that the monitor worked and left a radio on in the room on low vol. to ensure that we hadn't lost connection, could we go down to beach bar in the evening or is that really bad? She almost never wakes up in the evening.

OP posts:
ClaireRibs · 09/06/2005 20:26

I used to work for a holiday company as a nanny, the company provided room listening every evening for parents wanting to go out (they were not allowed to go out of the resort!) there would be 3 of us out checking the rooms, and 2 people at reception. 1 to check people in and one to run get parents. I can say this worked extremely well and we never had anything bad happen in our hotel. We were also there if a babysitter was needed.

MistressMary · 09/06/2005 22:41

Ok whatever it just ain't my idea to leave babs.

JoolsToo · 09/06/2005 23:12

so there you have it - not quite in a nutshell - some would, some wouldn't

Gobbledigook · 09/06/2005 23:17
Grin
suedonim · 09/06/2005 23:36

Okay, shock horror time now! When my ds was small, in the 1970's, there were regular parties in our area and everyone left their children at home to go to the parties. We lived in a modern mews type estate and the houses were all fairly close together and we did regular checks on them. I also used to leave ds asleep while I had a coffee with my neighbour. It never crossed any of our minds (and that included policemen, prison officers etc) that anything would happen. No one had a monitor then either, because they needed wires like a phone so you couldn't use them outdoors.

We also had a holiday in Cornwall when ds was 18mths (1976, year of the Big Drought) and the rules there were that children were not allowed to be in the dining room in the evening, they had to be in your room. And this was a family-friendly hotel! How times have changed.

If I were CD, I'd probably leave my child in an hotel room with a monitor, if I was certain they wouldn't wake up, same as I've left my handbag etc in my hotel room. I'd never considered it might be stolen from there - maybe that's why my children are always saying I'm naive.

Gobbledigook · 09/06/2005 23:48

suedonim - I got left in bed too for neighbourhood parties! JT can't believe she did it now but it was pretty normal back then! We were older though.

JoolsToo · 10/06/2005 00:00

suedonim - snap on the party thing - they were junior schoolers though!

lordy I was pregnant in 76 - I delivered about 1 am with a wet sanitary towel across my forehead to try and keep me cool

suedonim · 10/06/2005 00:08

Hehehe, Gdg/JT!! It was normal then, wasn't it.

Re summer '76, thankfully I wasn't pg. But I used to hang out in the food section of M&S as it was the only place in town that was cool. We wheeled ds down to the pub each evening for a beer (not ds, you understand!) but only on evenings when we didn't have a party to go to.

JoolsToo · 10/06/2005 00:19

don't know about you but I didn't have any school leagues to pore(?) over either

arfur · 10/06/2005 09:55

OK now I realise that as I type the police are on their way but anyway here goes every friday including tonight me and dh and our next door neighbours take it in turns to go to the others house for food and drink leaving my two (ages 3 and 5) and their one (age 1.5) at home with their baby monitors. We both have smoke alarms and burglar alarms active so to my mind nothing can really happen without us hearing it and we check if we hear anything unusual and we can be back in the house in 30 seconds if needed. We (the mums) have always felt a bit uneasy about it but nothing ever goes wrong so dont consider it a problem - let alone neglect. Does anyone know the actual position of the law on this one as I would be interested to know if what we do is illegal or would be frowned upon by Social Services etc?

twinklemummy · 10/06/2005 13:13

CountessDracula it,s a not a good idea at all

suedonim · 10/06/2005 17:00

Joolstoo, no, no league tables, you're quite right! You just sent your child to the nearest school. Life did seem simpler then.

racegirl · 11/06/2005 19:07

surely it's just another wall between you and your child. The fact your in someone elses house shouldn't make a difference if you are only next door. We live in a big house and our decking in the garden is more than fifty feet away but we sit out there in the evening. our neighbours front room is closer to our child's room than our garden but I'm not going to stop sitting in my garden.

Enid · 11/06/2005 19:12

I thought about this today as I was at the end of the garden (have no idea how far away from house it is but it must be at least 200m)

I thought if I was in a bar I wouldnt 100% be able to relax but I would go and check and send dh to check every now and again and I think I would manage about 1 hour.

Enid · 11/06/2005 19:14

and I have to put our rubbish at the end of our lane on a Wed night - this Wed I had to do it alone as dh was away and that is a good 5 minute walk when the lambs are sleeping the sleep of the good and just upstairs.

tigermoth · 12/06/2005 09:08

badger7, coming late to this but I think your tactic of 'what ifs' and whether you'd be happy letting someone else do it is a good way of looking at risk taking. Sorry I took your post the wrong way.

arfur, we used to live in a terrace of tiny houses and I mean tiny (no hall - front door leading straight into 12ft X12ft sitting room etc). On summer evenings some of us used to gather outside or in each other's front rooms, with the door and windows open onto the street, and have an impromptu gathering. As the gatherings were spontaneous, it was impossible for us to organise babysitters.

My ds was a sound sleeper, we had a monitor and we used to check back every 10 minutes or so. I felt it was no big risk to join my dh in the merry throng just outside our front door. Amongst our party loving neighbours was a couple who both worked in social services. They used to tut tut (in only a half joking way) and say they wouldn't report us - this time. It used to get my back up, as they usually said this to me, not my dh, so it came across that they expected me, not him, to go back and stay inside. I felt the risk was very slim as well, since we were no further away than an imaginary garden.

In retrospect, I wish now I'd asked them to babysit for the odd half an hour so I could enjoy myself totally guilt free. Needless to say, they never offered to do this.

Sorry, this is not an answer to your question, but the social workers never said to me it was illegal to do what we were doing, if this helps.

tallulah · 12/06/2005 11:00

I can remember waking up in the back of my parents van (bedford type), in my PJs & sleeping bag, in the car park of the civil service club & looking out of the windscreen to see my parents dancing in what looked like a big party. Much much later they told me that this was a weekly dancing lesson, and that they left us (aged 5 & 3) in the van every week!!!!

We used to go to Butlins in the days of the Chalet Patrol (a man on a bike coming past every 30 minutes). I can remember needing the loo and having to dash to the toilet block keeping an eye out in case the Patrol spotted me...

Isn't it funny that this thread is saying the exact opposite of the thread about risk, where most people are complaining that there is no more danger now than in the 70s & we are wrapping our children up in cotton wool.....

Prettybird · 13/06/2005 09:13

Tallulah - that's the thread where most of us who agreed with what CountessDracula was proposing, or who have done similar things themsleves - went over to!

CountessDracula · 13/06/2005 13:14

Well, am back safe and sound, no kidnapped, burned or neglected dd

BUT.... the beach cafe was over a small hill so the monitor didn't work there anyway!

The first two nights we went downstairs in the hotel and took the monitor. The last night we went to the beach cafe and paid one of the staff who used to be a nanny in London to keep an ear/eye on dd for the 2 hours we were gone.

Actually I think once I got there that even if the beach cafe had been accesible via the monitor, they played quite loud music in it so I wouldn't have been comfortable with leaving dd with only the monitor. As it was one of us went back up every 30mins to check that everything was ok!

She slept soundly and didn't wake up on any of the 3 nights.

OP posts:
CountessDracula · 13/06/2005 13:17

Fio2 you fiend, you did NOT talk to me and I didn't get drunk at all so NER!!!!

OP posts:
gaelsgirl · 13/06/2005 13:30

glad you had a good time cd

Fio2 · 14/06/2005 18:55

you fucking fibber

CountessDracula · 14/06/2005 20:02

no honestly! Oddly enough I never drink much on holiday - I don't want to waste it with a hangover!

OP posts:
Badger7 · 27/06/2005 00:26

Tigermoth, thanks.Nice of you to say that.

essbee · 27/06/2005 00:31

Message withdrawn

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