could you leave your kids?

[mytwopenceworth]

i was reading a magazine today and one of the articles was from this woman who had walked out on her husband and young children to be with this bloke who she had lost of sex with and all the passion blah blah blah. she said she didnt feel guilty about leaving the kids as she saw them around and they looked happy.

now i know that there are lots of circumstances where someone has no choice and im not saying everyone regardless of circumstances who lives away from their kids is horrible, but this particular case of a 'mother' walking out so she can get laid by some bloke 3 times a day? i think thats disgusting

how can a mother walk out on her babies to be with some bloke? i just dont understand it. dh and i were discussing it and i mentioned that if we ever split up (wont happen!) that i wouldnt stop him seeing the kids. he said thats because he would stay with them. we ended up 'arguing' about it and eventually had to agree that if we ever did split up we'd have to still live together cos neither of us is prepared to even contemplate living away from our kids!! Thats cos the thought alone is so painful, so how can someone do it for the sake of shags???

I just think of her fat, rosy cheeks. Her bare, soft feet. Her toothy smile. Her twee voice calling me 'Mimmy'. To be away from that would break my heart. There's no way I could ever leave her. She cries when I leave for work and it tears me apart. I can't imagine doing it for good.

Claire Bloom left her kid(s) for another man. Do know of one woman in real life who also left her kids for a bloke.

How come so many men can do it though? Surely it's not just to do with women carrying their babies for 9 months of pregnancy? What about adopted children - are men and women capable of leaving them in equal numbers?

I couldn't because, like expat, I do have some sense of duty and would hate them to grow up and hate me.

My mum is stepmum to 2 teenage boys, their mum left when the youngest was 6, she just didn't pick him up from school. They have a very distant relationship with her, she has made no effort to have regulat contact with them. Emotionally, the youngest id very unstable.

Not sure why men seem to go it so much more easily. DH has 2 other children whom he sees every fortnight (they live 100 miles away). He feels guilty for not being there all the time, but couldn't have stayed with the ex, and does feel that the children are better off without all the rowa and shouting.

Is it to do with guilt??? I'm not saying that it is, merely asking a question!! But guilt is such a female trait, if anyone has read "I don't know how she does it" they'll remember the scenes in there relating to guilt, albeit a different issue. Do men feel the same guilt as us?

I couldn't leave my children, absolutely no way, not for anything. I don't think DH could.

I could never leave my kids but my mum left me when I was 9 months.

My dad had had an affair while she was pg and carried it on after I was born she was heartbroken and left.

My dad took an overdose when she finally left (the reality that she was leavng him) simultaneously she had left and left me with her mum. When my dad was better he came and got me and was fuming as my mums mum lived in squallor (I have met her and been to her house and it was unbelievable).

My dad raised me and when I was 16 I found out where my mum lived a 15min walk from me. We exchanged letters a few times and finally met. She said she had had no where to take me, which I thought fair enough and her reason for not coming back when she did get sorted was that I didn't recognise her and wouldn't go to her so she thought she would leave me were I was settled and not upsset things so she decided to break all contact.

Now that I have my own children I will never understand. I would walk over anything and do anything to keep them.

11 years on and I keep in touch with her but thats the way it is I keep in touch with her, I'm fed up with it to be honest that she doesn't make the effort.

She's not a down and out person either but someone who's built a good life for themselves. I even have a half brother and sister who neither makes the effort. She shows her face at birthdays and so on and gives money or big gifts. For a while I sent them back and said I would rather give the kids some of her time than money. Doesn't make a difference.

I am bitter and I know I shouldn't be but I just think in years to come when any one of them decides that they want to make the effort it will be to late.

I have my dad though a little barmy he is but full of character and the kids love their grandad and I'm a better person for it.
I get stuck in with anything and am never afraid to go for it even with knees trembling. My dad passed that on to me and its stood me in good stead for everything. I hope I can teach my kids the same thing