What do you think about "not doing anything" when children are at school/nursery?

[morningpaper]

My daughter's peers are starting nurseries ... and I'm finding myself really SHOCKED at the fact that my mummy-friends aren't doing anything with their time while their children are out of the home. I asked a friend last week what she did and she said "Oh I just get home, tidy up a bit, have a coffee - and then I have to pick him up again!"

As I work from home there is ALWAYS some work I can do. I also do voluntary work and could always do with more time to get stuff done.

I also don't understand why their partners are happy with them just taking 'mornings off' to themselves - aren't they a bit miffed?

I'm probably just jealous but I can't help but think that they are just plain lazy! What do other people feel about this?!

Puddle: I must admit the unfulfilled-SAHM thread seems very different to this. The unfulfilled-SAHM (of which I am one) thread was very much about having the best of all the bad options. But here are women who are CHOOSING to do house-stuff over more stimulating work. It's something I (obviously) find completely unable to relate to.

but you still have to do house-stuff even if you work don't forget

morningpaper, some of us have hobbies!

exactly Fio. Reading is very stimulating

I have wild fantasies about giving up work when both mine are at school and doing wonderful SAHM things: baking, organising my house, buying nice flowers etc etc but I know that I'd just do the bare minimum and drink coffee, which would still be fantastic!!!! I've spent the last 6 yrs trying to "find" time and the thought of actually having some is almost more exciting than sex!
Not that it will happen because now I am a single mummy, I have to go to work .

"I've spent the last 6 yrs trying to "find" time and the thought of actually having some is almost more exciting than sex!"

PMSL - gawd how true

No Morningpaper, some of us are choosing to do house-stuff in our own time instead of cramming it into evenings and weekends - as Compo says we all have to do it whether we do paid work or not.

IME having a cleaner for a couple of hours a week doesn't make that much impact on the overall chores- washing, making beds, clearing up after meals, clearing up after kids, gardening, cleaning the car, puttting out the rubbish and all the other boring crap that has to be done.

I know dinosaur but I wasn't here when it was getting really tetchy..and you wouldn't deny me this simple pleasure would you?

HAvent read all of this so someone has probably said this already but part of the reason I work is I want my kids to see this and my daughter to know there is more in life than doing the laundry.
FOr me, I need more furfillment than staying at home and need a life apart from my kids.

I dont think sahms are lazy though. I share housework with dh, no cleaner yet but will come September. I cant imagine being married to someone who needs pushing to do housework/looking after kids as I know lots of mums do on mumsnet.

I know a full time mum with young kids works hard whether at home or work but not sure what people do who have school age children and dont work. Horses for courses I guess.

"not sure what people do who have school age children and dont work"

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanything they want to (well... that doesn't cost money )

One more year and ds2 gets to go to nursery, tee hee.

How would you (fulfilled SAHM mums with kids of school age) feel if your DH said he wanted to stay at home while you went out to work? Would that be fine with you?

Why DON'T they say that?!

my ds1 remembers when I was a WOTHM - he remembers going into my office to collect my laptop when he was off sick from nursery.

When I ask him if he would like to go to after-school club and holiday club, so that I can go out to work again, he gets upset and says no.

I rest my case

soupie, just wanted to point out that mp is a sahm - so starting a thread like the one you described would be well wide of the mark as a response to this one. not that you would actually do it of course.

But you see Enid, underneath my frenetically busy exterior, there lurks a lazy cow. I think I'd have a ball: bit of shopping, read the papers, make my own Christmas cards, go to the gym, meet friends for lunch...... Oh, am almost salivating at the thought of it all!!!!!!
OMG, I could even have a hobby.

my husband has said that

What about those women who do contribute to society, but not by earning £, but by voluntary/charity work. I know a SAHM who has 2 nursery age kids, who is a magistrate, a school govenor, a director of a cancer charity and a member of her local Community Health Council, appointed by the ministry of health. She may not be earning £100ks pa, but that does not make her a less valuable person. I think as long as a couple play to their strengths and each of them is happy with the family balance created, then no problem if a SAHM has 3 hours to herself a day. Not everyone choses to try to "have it all". Many of us are content to "have some of it and enjoy what we have".

in answer to hercules -I would say that my ds1 sees plenty of working mums amongst his schoolfriends, and one of his closest friends has a SAHD and the mum pursues her glittering career.

This thread is hideous.

I echo every last word of Soupy's posts.

I find it hard to 'argue' these threads as I'm kind of both - I'm a SAHM but I freelance so I fill all my children's waking hours with childcare, housework, bill sorting/finances etc etc and all my 'children in bed hours' with work.

I am quite frankly envious of anyone who has time to put their feet up for a coffee (including dh who after all has a lunchbreak which is an hour more than I get) and at the first opportunity, I'll be doing it too. Right this minute I feel like throwing myself out of the window I'm so bloody exhausted.

Anyway, back to work....

GDG: I don't understand why this thread is 'hideous'. I think these are reasonable questions to ask.

Fio2: What happened when your hubby asked?

Ah yes I am a SAHM. I have spent today gluing, painting, clearing up, and staring into the middle distance.