Please take pity on me and tell me the difference between apes and monkeys!

[motherinferior]

I am becoming obsessed with this, ever since the Inferiorettes borrowed a Chimp and Zee book from our local library. The authors are clearly confused, as they think C&Z are monkeys when as any fule kno (any fule who has read Mr Pratchett anyway) you never call an ape a monkey. And C&Z have tails, as well, chimps don't do they and/or do other apes? They're all primates, right, but I can't google Primates anyway because I get the Archbishop of Canterbury (who is an ape, obviously, not being a creationist) and if I google Monkeys I get some v dodgy websites so please someone tell me because I really should be getting on with some non-animal related work!

does this help?

Monkeys have tales.
Apes don't.

That's all I know.

I think DH explained it as monkeys have tails, apes don't to DD.

C&Z not allowed here though.

Any good?

Snap mears

the monkeys are a singing group

THANK YOU MEARS.

C&Z have a certain charm but I think we won't be borrowing them again.

You see now MI, there is a comprehensive answer to your query. And I have learned something too.

What about alligators and crocodiles? What's the difference there?

\link{http://ask.yahoo.com/ask/20010405.html\Alligators and crocodiles).

Alligators and crocodiles

Thanks very much Notquitecockney