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Original poster

Fed up or arguing about dd1.

18 replies

BubblesDeVere · 07/04/2005 21:06

I have just had yet another argument with dh about dd1. If you have read my other threads you will know how he disagrees with my punishments.

Well, I have just been upstairs and she is wide awake, i don't know whether it is just me, but i think that when they are at school and so young (she is 5) she should be asleep by 7.30 or 8pm at the very latest, i have just said that i want to her to go to bed at 7 and have a video or dvd that lasts no longer than 1hour, he is disagreeing with me again.

She is going to be shattered at school and when she comes home tomorrow evening she is going to be a complete nightmare out of sheer tiredness.

What time do you think that a 5 yr old should be in bed by?

OP posts:
Caligula · 07/04/2005 21:07

7PM.

Mine is almost 6 and bedtime is 7PM. Any later and he's crotchety and bad tempered teh next day.

flashingnose · 07/04/2005 21:12

Lights out by 7.30 here.

Original poster
BubblesDeVere · 07/04/2005 21:12

thats what i say, but dh has other ideas and seems to like disagreeing with me lately.

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ThomCat · 07/04/2005 21:13

Mine DD is 4 at the end of this year and still has a 2 hour sleep in afternoon but is in bed by 8pm latest (I don't get in from work till 7 so...)

When she drops that afternoon sleep and does longer days at school bed will be 7 7.30 latest.

Trouble with DVD before bed though is that it may be stimulating her as opposed to making her sleepy, maybe?????

flashingnose · 07/04/2005 21:14

Who has to deal with her in the morning? If it's you, surely you should have the final say?

Original poster
BubblesDeVere · 07/04/2005 21:16

I mainly have to deal with her, but she prefers daddy because he lets them have a chocolate milkshake for breakfast , whereas i only let them have juice, milk or water.

She has made it clear she prefers daddy full stop because he doesn't ask her to tidy away and lets them do what they want.

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Caligula · 07/04/2005 21:18

Yes call me old-fashioned, but I think visual media before bed (as opposed to a book) is possibly too exciting. Unless it's specifically designed to be wind down TV. That's why CBeebies is so clever - the bedtime hour is constructed to really wind them down so that they really believe it's bedtime by 7PM. It has all very calm colours and programmes, nothing exciting, people sitting there reading stories, etc. - actually the more I think about it the more I realise how extraordinarily brilliant it is.

Caligula · 07/04/2005 21:19

Bubbles, why don't you let Daddy deal with her all the time, then when he sees hyperactive over-tired child as the result of his parenting methods, he may be converted to yours!

flashingnose · 07/04/2005 21:19

Hmmm...

Sounds like the tip of the iceberg. Do you think he's disagreeing because he genuinely thinks a later bedtime and chocolate milkshake for breakfast are good things, or is he doing it to pick a fight with you?

Original poster
BubblesDeVere · 07/04/2005 21:20

cbeebies bedtime hour is brilliant, if i thought it would work, i would tape it every night for a fortnight and send the kids to bed at 6pm and put that on for an hour on the proviso that they went to sleep when it had finished

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Original poster
BubblesDeVere · 07/04/2005 21:22

TBH flashingnose, i really don't know, we seem to disagree on EVERYTHING at the minute and can sit for hours not talking.

I don't mind the kids having a chocolate milkshake with their dinners, but they only have one a day other than that they have pure apple or orange juice.

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flashingnose · 07/04/2005 21:25

The thing is, you both need to agree on whatever it is and any discussions need to take place when dd1 isn't around (says she who always manages this of course ). It sounds like you're at opposite ends of the spectrum at the mo and that can only cause more problems in the future as dd1 plays you off against each other.

Original poster
BubblesDeVere · 07/04/2005 21:30

flashingnose, you hit the nail on the head there, she does play us off against each other, she will go to dh and ask one thing and then come to me to ask it again. DH is one of these who thinks kids should get away with alot of things because they are young, i don't, i think they should have a certain amount of discipline and know when they have crossed the lines.

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Bozza · 07/04/2005 21:31

Your DH is undermining you. Think 9 pm is probably too late but it depends what time your DD has to get up. DS is 4 and has to be up no later than 7.15 on nursery days. He is in bed by 7.30.

Original poster
BubblesDeVere · 07/04/2005 21:32

Bozza, yes he does undermine me alot, he does it both in front of the kids and in public. I like dd1 to be out of bed by 7.15 too otherwise we are rushing even though i have her school clothes out ready and her packed lunch done

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Bozza · 07/04/2005 21:35

bdv - from the various threads I have read it seems that you are having a really hard time with your DH. I don't kknow how you are going to do it but it sounds like you are going to have to get tough with him.

flashingnose · 07/04/2005 21:38

Agree with bozza.

BTW, I'm fourth of four children and by the time I came along, Mum and Dad were well practiced and presented a united front on everything - p*ssed me off no end but really worked .

Good luck with tackling your DH.

Original poster
BubblesDeVere · 07/04/2005 21:40

thank you very much. Every so often i flip and try and talk with him, but he gets his cocky and obnoxious head on and i can't discuss a thing, he is still of the opinion that, when he is working days or nights (12 hours shifts) that the world stops revolving. If i stay in when he has been on nights, it is too noisy, if i go out it is too quiet, so what on earth am i supposed to do.

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