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Original poster

Can someone tell me why.........

149 replies

astonished · 05/04/2005 19:02

Some people need to come on here and take the piss out of others? Alot of it going on at the moment, often on other threads where others can't defend themselves.
Some people may see it all as a bit of a laugh, but is it really?? What is the motivation in sitting at a computer and making others feel bad??
Why the superiority complexes, clearly they are not justified, otherwise there would be no need to rip it out of others??
Harmless fun? Just remember what it feels like to be treated that way, in real life or on mumsnet.
And whilst I'm at it, being a regular poster does not give anybody the right to say what they want, and why should I be told to take anybody with a pinch of salt, or should know that by now??

Its okay to be abusive mumsnetters just make sure at the beginning of your post you remind people to take you with a pinch of salt.

OP posts:
snafu · 05/04/2005 20:52

Oh bugger, I mean thtop taking the pith, natch

Blu · 05/04/2005 20:53

But people do intervene on threads where thay think rudeness or ganging up is going on, don't they? Or Lou wanders by whistling and fingering her moderators hat - that usually pulls people back into line.

Beetroot · 05/04/2005 20:53

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Blu · 05/04/2005 20:53

Thorry, Thnafu.

snafu · 05/04/2005 20:55

Th'okay

expatinscotland · 05/04/2005 20:55

Thanks for the commentary, astonished. I couldn't disagree more. Many of us have to spend a good deal of our 'real' life being PC, highly professional, hyper-sensitive to offending folks, etc. Some of us come on here to chill out and relax. After all, it's the net! Being informal and familiar in here won't compromise how we pay the bills, etc.

I think if folks are to the point where they let strangers comments on a net forum bother them, it's time to take a break. I've been on boards that were literally killed by over-moderation and nippiness. There was n/thing left by a bunch of fake sentiment and bollocks nicey-nice.

I'd rather have the piss taken out of me a few times than go that way.

Blu · 05/04/2005 20:56

I know beety. Do you think this is the time and place to discuss it, though? I don't know what to think. may have to e mail [email protected]

hunkermunker · 05/04/2005 20:56

Astonished, did you post a question about baby pasta availability? Because that's the only thing I can think of that attracts quite the response you refer to.

snafu · 05/04/2005 20:56

Exactly eis. Arses to PC, I say (but then I'm one of the nice ones harharhar)

hunkermunker · 05/04/2005 20:57

Would just like to agree with Expat's last post too.

Beetroot · 05/04/2005 20:57

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Beetroot · 05/04/2005 20:57

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Original poster
astonished · 05/04/2005 20:58

Blu in some cases yes, but it isn't always that obvious that someone would think to intervene..Just because it isn't obvious it doesn't mean it doesn't exist, cruelty can be disguised if it looks like you're just having a laugh.

OP posts:
hunkermunker · 05/04/2005 20:58

Astonished, please can you post some links to threads where this has happened?

expatinscotland · 05/04/2005 21:01

I like to think I'm a big enough girl now to know when 'cruelty' is being disguised as having a laugh and sort it out myself rather than running to the teacher.

Original poster
astonished · 05/04/2005 21:01

I'm not actually talking about being 'pc' I'm talking about treating others with respect. Just because your online it doesn't mean basic rules of kindness need not apply. I agree this is somewhere for many to unwind etc, but just because it is acceptable to be rude to others doesn't make it okay, or does it?

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 05/04/2005 21:02

The issue is that what one person perceives as rude s/one else doesn't.

hunkermunker · 05/04/2005 21:02

Isn't ignoring rude too? Astonished, can you be a bit more specific, please?

Original poster
astonished · 05/04/2005 21:05

Sorry not meaning to be rude just a bit slow, as i said i don't generally post just look for things that apply to me, often don't want to post in case i get told its boring or been done before.The post that sticks in my mind was regarding a question about Breastfeeding, and formula feeding it just made me aware of a growing trend really.

OP posts:
Original poster
astonished · 05/04/2005 21:07

Possibly expat, but as i say this sin't something that has been 'done' to me, something I've observed and whilst I may have got the wrong end of the stick i do believ MN can be like this.

OP posts:
Original poster
astonished · 05/04/2005 21:07

Clearly I meant isn't !

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 05/04/2005 21:08

Then let that poster speak up for herself. Maybe he/she didn't find it offensive at all. It's quite possible.

Original poster
astonished · 05/04/2005 21:10

Absolutely, but it may put others off of posting, like me

OP posts:
Blu · 05/04/2005 21:12

Ok some examples. (and i'm going to get the pith taken out of me for stickking with this, aren't I???? )
Recently I noticed a series of bra-selling threads which seemed harmless and funny and joined in. The it transpired that it had all started in response to a real bra-seller, who didn't understand why people found it funny or amazing that she had what seemed like hundreds of 2nd hand bras for sale in v different sizes, and was a bit miffed. Things take on a certain life of their own - prople do need to realise that the end result of a thread isn't necessarily personally connected with the person who started it.

This morning there was a thread about bf which I thought initiallly attracted some reactions I listed at the bottom of this thread. I was shocked at the apparantly harsh response the poster got - and sure enough, along came Lou with her fingering....

Sometimes people behave 'badly', sometimes people inflame situations by taking things way too personally. Mostly, what I have seen when people are clear about asking for advice is very sensitive and constructive support. There was a flippant-ish thread recently about sex. One poster was getting upset - and eventually had a serious outburst. Her ensuing thread was treated with the genuine respect it deserved by people who had been giving her a rather hard time for her objection to the original thread. Context.

expatinscotland · 05/04/2005 21:14

There are always gonna be folks who are more sensitive than others. What's the solution? B/c if it's more moderation then I'm outta here. Honestly, I've had it to the back teeth with all the victimisation mentality I've encountered on forums. It's the net, NOT real life. I'd hate to spend my life in fear of how total strangers perceived me all the time. What a way to live.

I've been on threads that got out of control. Left 'em to run their course and/or ignored them completely. If I have a question, I ask it. If I have an opinion, I state it. Not all people are going to agree. Some might even gang up on me. That's okay, b/c it's a forum on the net.