Presents - open them all or save them up?

[strawberry]

The reason i ask is that we never see our nephew open his presents - they are all confiscated on arrival. I understand that they don't want to spoil him, but it would be really nice to see him open a gift occasionally. Dh is quite upset about this and suspects that many gifts are returned to the shop.

How old is he? I think it's strange when people don't let their children open presents when they're given them - what reason is there not to let them?!

I know exactly what you mean, I spend a lot of time thinking about what to get my nephews and friends kids, but as I'm never there to see them opening them, I never get any feedback, its annoying.

3rd birthday party. I don't understand it either. Why is it better to get gifts throughout the year instead of special occasions?

Once upon a time I would have agreed that children should open presents when they're given them. However, when my dd was 3 she was so overwhelmed by all of the presents she got that, after the first few, she didn't want to open any more, so when people came to her party in the afternoon we "confiscated" them as they came in so as not to upset her further. She then opened up the presents when she wanted to - which was everyone had gone home and things were a little bit calmer - some of them didn't get opened until the next day. I think it all depends on the child and how they are coping.

I agree totally if it's overwhelming the child, but I'm not sure this is why strawberry's nephew never opens presents from them in front of them. Do you ever get thank you cards from his parents?

Ds had his 2nd birthday party yesterday and when he was given his presents he gave them to me and said "later mummy". I put them in a pile which he ignored. One of my friends seemed upset that he hadn't opened the present, which was funny really because her son would have had a screaming hissy fit if he had seen Bob with a present when he didn't have one. I explained that for all the kids sakes he would open them later, possibly the next day even.
My brother is visiting from the UK and we made sure that Bob only opened his presents when he was at our house. He was very good about waiting until "later" to open those presents. I wouldn't dream of confiscating presents from family and I think it's low to open them yourself and take them back to the shop.
I have been known to Ebay the occassional completely unsuitable present though...like stuff made out of rubber when he has a latex allergy, or given away food items that he can't eat to other children.

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ds was very overwhelmed at Xmas & 3 weeks later on his birthday (2nd) this year. On Xmas day he only opened presents from people who were there and who he wouldn't be seeing in the next few days - about 3 gifts. Even that was too much.

On his birthday there were too many people who we only saw that day, so some didn't get opened in front of the people who sent them. I understand what you're saying about how it must feel to the givers, but with ds he would have cried and been very unhappy about opening the present and would not have reacted to what he got - and that may well make the people who put so much thought and effort into the present feel worse. It seems strange to me (I throw the wrappers off all of mine, I get so excited!), but he just really really gets upset and overwhelmed by the presents.

I do make sure that people see him playing with the gifts at a later stage, though!

Ds was the same on Christmas day. So delighted with teletubbies that he wasn't interested in anything else until later - fair enough.

When we arrived yesterday, dh tried to give nephew his present who said hooray but SIL said NO it's not for you, it's for Nan, and ran from the room with it. I think it's all a bit extreme.

HM - they sometimes send thank you cards but not recently. I can't recall ever seeing a toy from us at their house. Other family members are annoyed too.

Personally I'd insist he gets to open the present from me, infront of me.

You bought it for him, because he is part of your family. You should get to see him open it.