how do you balance full time job + housework + toddler???

[Nickinha]

Has anyone got good advice on how to hold down a full time job, cook supper, do the washing, keep the house clean and entertain a clingy todler?? My house just always seems to be disgusting!

You could perhaps pick one day a week where you go out, and he covers the fort. IT's far from his fair share, but it might give him a very small taste of what your life is like. Say on Wednesday, you start going to the cinema? Or go for a nice massage on Saturday and just and leave him with the ouse chores, then when you come home and it's a mess say "What have you done all day?!"

if you got a cleaner for 4 hrs per week @ 8ph it would cost £1664 per annum - which is peanuts compared to extensive home improvements. take it out of the renovations budget. plus a tumble dryer would cost you approx £300 - again a small amount if you are planning lots of diy. it really speeds up the laundry process and far less ironing needed.

i know these are not small sums for everyone - but in the context of doing up a 3 bed house they should appear affordable!

These threads always mystify me. In DH's culture men dont tend to do housework either but that's irrelevant to us. We both work and share the housework. Dh does more as he works nights and looks after kids in the day.
If things get difficult we will hire a cleaner. Neither of us expects the other to be a slave to housewrk.
I dont get why so many women allow themselves to be treated in this way.......

I would also make a speadsheet / chart that has the names of everyone in the family down the left hand column and then list all the chores you can think of across the top. Then, pass it round the dinner table until everyone has signed up and all the chores have a name against them. And that is everyone's job for the next week. Make a new one each week, and come up with a FAIR rotation. And, making dinner is a chore, so is cleaning up.

No sign up = no dinner

Nor will I ever understand why some men arent capable of looking after their own kids. I really couldnt respect someone who was unable to do this.

Flylady is a wonderful site Caligula - thank you. Going to certainly follow some of her advice (15-20 min a day a room). Uwila - I live in Algarve Portugal, but I will pay for you to come and smack him!!! LOL, and here i was thinking EVERYONE was in the same boat as me.. Looks like I am the one who needs to sit down and re-assess my home situation... you guys really know how to open a person's eyes.... (((big hugs to you all))

Gotta go to a meeting now, will catch up with you all in the morning... cheerio

dp would class himself as a typical English working class bloke and he also cant fathom how men get away without doing the housework. He also cant understand how they can live with mess like many seem to. Hes a SAHD to dd (13mnths)and keeps the house much better than I did. my dss is 13, doesnt live with us and we expect him to keep his room tidy, make his bed and set the table for all meals when he is with us and I dont think thats much to ask at all. If he was living with us we would expect a great deal more but then Id take the time to teach him how to cook, hoover etc and expect it to be done properly.

Looking forward to my trip to Portugal.

My DH, given the choice, would gladly consider all things house and child related as my job. His problem is I can tolerate a lot more filth than he can. I think all men would belong to a culture where they didn't have to do housework if they could. Sod men, I would like to belong to a culture where the other gender does all the housework... but sadly there is no such option in the real world.

Most people I know who work full time have the following:

• new house (no maintenance, easy to clean)
• live close to work = more time at home
• have childcare provision based at home or at work (no extra travelling)
• share housework & childcare 50/50
• are very organised and prepare meals in advance

My only tips are chucking out the TV and not drinking wine!

Oh God, Posy, if you do that much housework, you need the wine!

Caligula I am a softy I work less than full time hours and my house is a tip but every so often I give up TV and alcohol & get a whole load more done - but it's not a smuch fun

Morning, honestly - nothing makes dusting and cleaning more fun than a good programme in the background and a glass of wine! Thats when I do my best housework... hmm anyone else out there do that?

Mornin' Nick. Did you give you give your DH some well deserved abuse last night? Rat poison in his food, perhaps?

Well I do the ironing when watching TV but only have two TVs and a lot more than that rooms!

LOL @ Uwila, did not get a chance - he worked late and he stayed over the night so I did not get to see him, he can run - but he cant hide...

Sorry, I'm not being provocative honestly, but(genuine question) how much house work can there be to do if nobody is home all day 5 days per week?

I can think of laundry...and ....well...laundry?

(Although agree that whatever there is to do should be split 50:50)

well nobody has been in our house today and this evening i have:

put 2 children to bed
tidied up kitchen and living room
put laundry on
cooked dinner
washed up by hand (dishwasher broken)
sterilised bottles and made up for the morning
made flapjacks

and there is much less cleaning up to do tonight because our cleaner came today - and i'm ahead with the laundry for once so normally i would also be folding drying putting away etc.

was also going to cook and freeze some baby food for dd but decided i wasn't up for it.

and i still have to have a shower because dh is leaving early tomorrow and won't be able to see to the kids while for me to shower then.

seriously do you never cook/wash up/tidy up/shop...

Don't you think a toddler on its own is full time work? What does your Dh do to help?

Yes I do cook, tidy up and wash... I also have to sterilise bottles (10 month old), and put 2 kids to bed solo (dh never here), however I just find that it is all a bit piss easy on days when I work because there is no tidying up to do (house is like some pristeen unsullied palace), and just a wee bit of cooking (something simple for tea). In terms of cooking, I just cook the evening meal however but don't do additional baking (like flapjacks etc)

However on days like today when I have been off its constant grind....making breakfast, lunch and tea for the my two and clearing up the devastation afterwards (ds is at food throwing stage), toys littering every surface from one end of the house to the other...

I don't work full time (only part time 3 days per week) but I think I would find (it's just my opinion) that the toughest thing about working full time would be missing my kids not the housework.

yes there are more chores on the days we are all off but conversely there is also more time in which to do them - imo/e.

Well yes I can see that works in some cases, but for me (maybe it's the ages of my children 2.7 and 10 months)they don't give me a moment. They sap all the time and they don't sleep at the same time either....

I'm lucky then;if dh came home to find everything done he would be very upset, when do you get time off to just play with the kids ,or do you have to cook and clean when your dh is home?