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Original poster

Bathtime going wrong

15 replies

gingerolivia · 10/08/2008 20:17

Our DD is 16 weeks and roughly about a week ago decided she didn't like bathtime anymore or the half an hour of singing that followed the trouble is is that this is my husbands job, I'm breastfeeding and so he said he wanted to do this to have his quality time with her, he is getting really upset and taking it personally as she just screams and screams, I've tried my best to reassure him - assume its either a phase or she is over tired and we need to bring bathtime and bedtime forward at present she has bath at 7.30 songs till 8 then feed and down, she's also turned awkward with feeding lately - stiffening of the body mini tantrums not bad for someone so young!
Tonight he's thrown his own mini tantrum - help...

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TheHerdNerd · 10/08/2008 20:25

I'm a man. I used to treasure my bath time too, and my daughter started doing exactly this - she began hating her bath time, and nothing I could do made her like it. I'm ashamed to say that I did exactly what your DH did eventually - a mini strop. I don't blame him, mind. It's hard to have this one special thing that's just for you, and then your daughter screams herself purple all the way through it, EVERY time.

It lasted a good long while, I'm sad to say - until she could sit up in the bath and take an interest in ducks and things. Then she started liking it again.

My advice would be to find something else that's special dad-and-child time. For me it was in the mornings while my wife had a shower, I would sit with dd and play with her on the living room floor, eating my breakfast. When she started weaning it turned into me doing her breakfast in the mornings and it's lovely. Now I get weekend bath time AND breakfast - life is good.

ruddynorah · 10/08/2008 20:29

half hour of singing? your dh singing? maybe try skipping that bit.

Original poster
gingerolivia · 10/08/2008 20:31

Thanks I will tell him he's not on his own and we will look at other things he can do, bless - he spent a small fortune on singing turtles and bubble makers! hopefully she will come round soon

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Doodle2U · 10/08/2008 20:36

Do you have a bath mat?

I only ask because we ran into a similar thing and discovered a bath mat under them made them feel more secure.

Other than that - go with what THN has said and find an alternative for DH to do with her until she grows out of it.

Original poster
gingerolivia · 10/08/2008 20:36

Well I say singing perhaps not as soothing as my own fair voice! we have some classical baby sleep cd's that may be more appropriate for this phase rather than Jack & Jill

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funnypeculiar · 10/08/2008 20:36

dd & ds both did this. Can't remember if it was about the same age. It is, of course, a stage and not a personal insult to your dh

But there are things he can do to make things easier. Has he tried:

  • getting in a big bath with her (both of ours adored this - & indeed if given the choice would still bathe with us daily
  • bring the bathtime earlier if practical - and maybe cut down the singing bit - 30mins is a long time for a 16 week old! I'd aim for her to be down more like 7pm if you can...

Fwiw, bathtime is my dh's special time too, and it;s been a great routine - not only because i get a cuppa in peace Well worth working on it!

Original poster
gingerolivia · 10/08/2008 20:40

Hi - yes we have a bathmat (finding Nemo - very bright and cheerful) and he supports her in the correct way, we can't think of anything that may have triggered this, he even asked me to watch one night for reassurance. Will be patient and wait for a while

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Original poster
gingerolivia · 10/08/2008 20:42

Didn't think of bathing together! maybe tomorrow then we will try bringing time forward and them both getting in the tub and less of a sing song and see how he goes. thanks

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MrsMattie · 10/08/2008 20:47

Babies go through phases. Some part of your routine works a treat with them for a while and then suddenly it doesn't work anymore. It's frustrating, but very common.

I would bring the bed and bath routine a fair bit earlier, cut out the song time and just go for a really quiet wind down routine. Try it for a week or so and see how you get on. If she really hates bath time after a week or so, cut that out too. It's only purpose at this stage should be to relax your baby, as I'm sure she's not actually dirty enough to need a bath every day. So if it isn't working anymore, drop it for a while and just go for dimmed lights, quiet voices, gentle rocking etc.

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 10/08/2008 20:57

I would bring the bathtime forward, and are you sure she's not hungry?

Here's what I used to do with ds:

A bf from one side
Into the bath with daddy
I would dry and dress him (ds, not daddy!)
Nice long bf
In the cot

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 10/08/2008 21:00

Oh yeah, and for the hour or half hour before bedtime it was quiet time.

Nothing too stimulating. There was many a time I had to fend off dh from chucking him in the air and getting him over excited before bath and bed. I did feel mean, but dh understood and it seemed to work for us.

Original poster
gingerolivia · 10/08/2008 21:04

Yes I do the same and feed her in the half an hour before she goes up for her bath then again before she goes into crib so hunger shouldn't be a problem, we have just had a quick chat and tomorrow they are going to have bath together and cut out the singing part. fingers crossed

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TheProvincialLady · 10/08/2008 21:08

You could try bathing together or bringing the bath forward as suggested, or you could try not bathing her every day for a while. She is not sweating or rolling about it the mud so it will do no harm to just be top and tailed for a while. Your DH could 'read' books to her etc and have a lovely time together. It's not worth upsetting both parties over at this age - wait until she is 2 and has been playing in the wet garden all day before you start fretting over bathtime

funnypeculiar · 10/08/2008 21:12

Good luck
BUT don't be too downhearted if she does still get a bit freaked. She honestly won't be screaming through her bath in 3 months Now is a good time to start chanting that most important of all mothering slogans "This is a stage, this is a stage, all this will pass, all this will pass"

Original poster
gingerolivia · 14/08/2008 20:58

Hi all, just thought I would report on progress we have brought bedtime forward to 7, I top n tail then massage DD (which she finds hilarious for some reason) she then has a kick about in the nif for a while then its into dark bedroom for cosy BF then she is asleep by 7.45! marvelous no more tears.
This morning I risked giving her a bath and she was happy as larry so we will continue with this new routine for a while.
Daddy is having cuddles when he gets home from work although she still gets upset but she is seeming to get upset with anyone who isnt me at the mo.
We go on our first hol as a family in 4 weeks so they should hopefully have some good bonding time then.
Thanks for your support - so glad I found this site its a sanity saver!

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