Guilt over child never being abroad

[Una22]

Hi, I have a 11 and a 4 year old. Feel guilty especially on the 11 year old as he has never been abroad. He doesnt mention anything to be fair, most years we go away in the UK but it seems everyone I speak to takes their children abroad but we just cannot afford it or justify the cost of the moment as we are saving for a house and due to the fact they seem happy enough going away in the UK, it seems daft spending thousands on a holiday abroad. Has anyone else never taken their kids abroad? Feel like we are the only ones! The 4 year old is such hard work too and I honestly couldnt think of anything worse!

Eurocamp in France or Holland wouldn't be more expensive than camping in the UK though 🤷‍♀️

I have never found UK holidays to be cheaper than foreign holidays.

As above. You don’t have to spend thousands to go “abroad”. You can get a ticket on the Chunnel and drive wherever you like.

They have holidays and they're happy. You could do a day trip to France without spending much. Day Trips to France from the UK | Cheap Ferry Tickets & Offers

If you can afford a UK holiday then you can afford ‘abroad’. It’s very cheap and easy to get the ferry/shuttle (you can even use clubcard vouchers) to France and then have a low cost holiday e.g. eurocamp somewhere within driving distance.

My eldest didn't go.abroad until she was 12, it isnt a huge deal camping is camping so if you want to holiday in the uk thats fine he isn't missing out, of course it is more expensive to go abroad even a week in France is going to cost more, by the time you factor in travel and passports,fuel, food.

We also mixed up our holidays between the uk and abroad,

It’s not needed, it’s a luxury and you’re currently saving for a house which is more important. But if you did want to take them to experience a different country/culture then you could do a long weekend in France pretty cheaply if you drive and get the tunnel or ferry across, or there are often very cheap flights some countries and do air bnb or euro camp.

I didn’t go abroad until I was un
my teens, my DH didn’t go abroad until he was in his 20s.

It hasn’t negatively impacted us at all. Have the holidays that work best for your family.

OP, rather than worrying about it now, I'd save up and make sure he can go on the school French GCSE trip.

I didn't go abroad as a child either - but being the only child in school left out of the French trip was humiliating and miserable.

It will give you time to save up as well.

Can you do an extreme day trip just you and him? Our local airport has loads of deals where you fly out on the earliest available flight/come back on the last one. Great mini culture boost/experience flying/try new foods without faffing about hotels/annual leave/luggage - fab story for him to tell too. Lots of advice groups on FB if it’s something you’d be interested in.

On the flip side, we do get away a lot and it’s always the butlins/centreparc/camping trips that get raved about by DS. I grew up never having foreign holidays and always assumed they were amazing but I do think the kids who get both often favour the UK ones.

I have worked out the cost and abroad holidays are more expensive. The eldest is autistic and we suspect our toddler is too so a plane somewhere would be the only solution really as I dont think they would cope well with all the travelling but thanks for all the replies

If this is more about guilt than about your child never having been abroad, then please stop feeling guilty. Almost every child is out to guilt their parent about something and with 11-year-olds it goes with the territory.

I didnt go on holiday abroad with my family until I was 16, it wasnt an issue.

i expect it would massively depend on your child’s difficulties but planes airports trains and car journeys are all possible with disabled children. If you can holiday in the uk then I can’t see that it would be particularly more difficult elsewhere.

Thank you means a lot. I just feel for them as I chose part time working so I could spend time with them. Just hope ive made the right decision. I would love to take them abroad but with them having extra needs I dont want add any more stress to them or us. Thats why we have always done the uk as its a bit easier to arrange too

DD don’t go abroad till she was about 13. Didn’t go on a plane till she was 14.

I hate booking holidays abroad.

I understand what you mean but it's more the four year old he gets really distressed and dont think he would know what was going on so could be rather stressful. A two hour car journey somewhere is easier to manage

Pretty much my situation

Youngest went abroad on a school trip and had a great time

Middle had no particular interest in abroad

So the one who wants to go has been

I didn't go abroad until my 20s. I now live abroad and am fluent in 3 languages so it didn't do me any harm. I'm not sure I'd really have noticed if we did go abroad as kids. Beach, pool and ice cream are much the same everywhere

Dd went abroad with secondary school and quite a few had never been abroad before. The costs in school holidays are so high. They have their whole lives to travel if they want to. I really wouldn't worry about it.

I really don’t think it’s important to have traveled abroad at a young age. Having said that we did take our children abroad every year very cheaply ( all neurodivergent) . We always drive so they could rub on the Eurotunnel whilst travelling. We were fortunate to own our house so home exchanged to many destinations in Europe but also went to Landal in Holland out of season ( used to be centre parks) . It was alot of work getting there with them all but we do have fantastic memories .

I don’t have kids but a childhood acquaintance of mine has never been abroad and nor have her kids who are 14,15, and 17. They seem fine with it.

I have friends who are always traveling with their kids and some kids enjoy it but some aren’t that keen - especially when it’s long haul. Like my friend from the U.S who visits regularly has two kids and the younger one isn’t that keen on visiting the UK.

I didn’t go abroad until I was 17 and now in my 30s I’ve lived in multiple continents, and I have traveled to about 15 different countries so far as well as many repeat journeys to the same countries (eg 10+ visits to various states in the U.S.) . So yeah don’t worry about it, if it’s something they want to do they can find a way when older.

I think it’s great if parents can take their kids on holiday abroad and expose them to different cultures, languages and new sights but it’s not a need.

And also many who take their kids abroad are going to all-inclusives in Spain, eating beans and chips and not engaging with the culture at all. So yeah you can teach your kid more about other countries from your home than some people do when they take their kids abroad.

But if it’s important to you maybe after you buy the house you can start saving a small amount of money monthly for a short affordable European break. Even say £40 a month will add up over a few years.

Ferry travel to France is a really good option. There are little soft plays and other children’s activities, some of them have play areas, so they can move around and not have to sit in one place like they would on a train or plane.

Many children never have a holiday, anywhere. You have reasons why you haven't been abroad with them,you have uk holidays which suit them. It's fine , many children go abroad and don't see the outside of the hotel. Concentrate on what opportunities you are providing and feel happy about that.

The first time I went abroad was a school trip to France aged 12. I was perfectly happy.

When DD was 4, she had been abroad several times. Her favourite holiday destination by far was Butlins!

It sounds like you have good reasons for staying in the UK. We have recently decided to stick with the UK for a bit. I love going abroad but the travel there and back is hard going and makes it all not seem worth it. We have looked at other options e.g. ferries, Eurostar and might do that, but at the moment it is all so pricey. This summer we had a UK short break, stayed with family and did days out. The kids had a great time. Your kids will get lots of benefit from having you at home more, rather than working lots for a week or two away.