Guilt over child never being abroad

[Una22]

Hi, I have a 11 and a 4 year old. Feel guilty especially on the 11 year old as he has never been abroad. He doesnt mention anything to be fair, most years we go away in the UK but it seems everyone I speak to takes their children abroad but we just cannot afford it or justify the cost of the moment as we are saving for a house and due to the fact they seem happy enough going away in the UK, it seems daft spending thousands on a holiday abroad. Has anyone else never taken their kids abroad? Feel like we are the only ones! The 4 year old is such hard work too and I honestly couldnt think of anything worse!

I just want to thank everyone for the lovely comments, its really helped a lot and made me feel less rubbish. You all sound like brilliant parents, thank you ever so much xxxx

My DC was 15 before we were able to go abroad for the first time. Some families will never be able to afford it. Having less money than richer familiesxis not a moral/ethical failing, there is nothing to feel guilty about.

I had one holiday abroad as a child when I was 9, all others were in the UK. I never felt I had missed out, I loved our holidays.

We’ve been abroad once with my daughter, it’s just not worth the hassle with her disability. She also loves our holidays.

I’ve never understood the insistence that a holiday must be overseas. We have a brilliant country here, loads to explore. It isn’t massively expensive as people seem to suggest. We’ve done a week in the U.K. for way less than it would cost to go overseas, pretty much every year. The only thing that can be an issue is having good weather, but kids don’t care about that. In fact, for me having small children somewhere too hot is really stressful, keeping them safe and cool. Plus, if you’re only going on holiday for good weather, there are a whole load of countries you are missing out on seeing.

To be fair, I'm in Australia, but a lot of people have never been abroad. My similar age colleague (40's) told me she just isn't interested. They're happy driving 1000's of KMs dragging their caravan.

I didn't even leave the state until I was 24 & could afford overseas myself. Childhood was a week at the same beach every year. I envy people who are happy with that. It's so much easier & relaxing. And my kids are looking forward to a week at the beach shortly, as much as the trip to Japan we took earlier this year!

Kids are not hard done by if they don't travel.

Everyone mentioning the tunnel. Not everyone lives within spitting distance of Kent. We’re 9 hours just to get there. That’s adding a day either side of your holiday (at least). You’re knackered from driving on the way back. It isn’t the easy solution many think it is.

They have nice holidays, it’s fine. Plenty of time to go abroad when they are older.

It's disappointing that so many answers are trying to persuade you to take your child abroad ("just do xyz!") rather than reassuring you that it is absolutely fine not to have visited other countries.

As for extreme day trips - not exactly environmentally responsible, and certainly not going to give a real idea of another place or culture!

If you want your children to understand different cultures, making friends with some first or second generation immigrants will be far more effective than a fortnight in a euro camp.

And time spent with parents (and seeing how to steward finances wisely rather than go into debt) is the important thing.

I live in Scotland so hours and hours… not on my radar at all

and yes it might be cheaper in some respects but you’d need to get passports etc etc as well so it’s really not as simple as ‘just drive’

Yeah not everyone can pop on the channel or do dover to calais day trips ! Cheaply.

They have airports in Scotland. You could get the ferry to Northern Ireland (not abroad but is overseas) without a passport.
I went to Norway by ferry from South Shields.

Our dcs hadn't been abroad until their teens, either with school or my son went away with mates when he was 17. We were the same as you, couldn't afford it and with ND dcs it was easier in the UK.
We had great holidays in the UK, varied, enriching, peaceful, energetic, lots of hiking in the lakes and Scotland etc

It's perfectly acceptable to never have been abroad, @Una22 . He's only 11. A roof over your head is more important.

I think we were just commenting about "nipping to france" as pp suggested if you live to far away it costs a lot of money and timeit isn't easy to just pop over to France, for everybody.

That's just creating obstacles, @Coffeeishot . OP hasn't mentioned Scotland.

Despite living hundreds of miles from the SE, I went to other countries from Harwich, Dover, Portsmouth, Holyhead and South Shields.

Owning a passport is something fairly standard.

You could do a beach holiday fairly cheaply, but a 4-yr old probably won't like it, whereas they might love going to a beach resort in the UK.

I didn't say anything about the Op being in Scotland it was just an example because pps mentioned it isnt as easy to go to Kent as some people might have thought, then a pp mentioned they lived in Scotland as I do, and we were just comparing notes about it isn't easy to go to France,

Anyway not everybody wants to or is able to go abroad the op doesn't have to take her 11 and 4 year old abroad they are not missing out, holidaying in the uk is fine.

We will always feel guilty about something

We took our 12-year-old on holiday abroad for the first time last year

But he actually wants to go camping and me and his dad are just not used to that, but that's all he really wants so it was a wasted trip , and I feel guilty, because it was me who wanted to go abroad really 🤪👎🏻

@Coffeeishot , I didn't say anything about the Op being in Scotland I didn't say you did
it isn't as easy to go to Kent as some people might have thought - depends where you live. My parents took us and it was a very long drive. So were most of the other ports.
Anyway not everybody wants to or is able to go abroad - If you did want to, It would be doable. There are plenty of places here in the UK that are worth seeing.