Was told I don't give a shit about my baby today.

[Flossam]

My pram is (unfortunately) too big to fit through the front of the buses where I live (london) but luckily buses here have back doors too, which many people use to get on and off them. I got on the bus today at the back, and as I was doing so heard the hydrolics go for them to shut, but obviously the driver realised I was getting on and stopped. Anyway, I went to the front to pay and the driver said to me 'You pull a stunt like that again on my bus and you won't get on' I had to ask him to repeat it, and then tried to explain to him that I was sorry but I couldn't fit through the front. He said I should of 'asked' first. Anyway, I wasn't too bothered, walked away having paid and two more passengers got on. To the first he said 'did you see here with that bloody pram?' And to the second he said 'obviously dosen't give a shit about here baby'.

To this I saw absolutely red and went to the front of the bus again, when he repeated what he said again, and told me I could of killed my baby (I don't think so strapped in to a secure, if bulky pram). I told him I would complain and asked him his name, he laughed, asked him the bus number, again he laughed. I decided I couldn't stay on and got off the bus at the next stop, then thought about it and asked for my money back. Surprise, surprise, he refused. I went home again, cried all the way home, and have phoned a complaint through, but still felt the need to rant here, sorry. Did he really have any right to call me that? I think it's hard enough to be a new mum without people casting such dispersions over you.

Surely the whole reason Flossam posted this was because of the way she was spoken to and treated by the driver. What the hell is wrong with saying, "be careful about doing that, it could be dangerous".

Not sure she needed a lecture on bus safety from mumsnet as I'm sure she's a grown up.

I have to say, Misdee and me both have used buses regularly and we knows its no easy task, I have had to get two disabled kids and a baby onto a bus, with the two with disabilities in a double major (which will NOT fit on any bus) and baby in a sling, so I HAD to get DS out, put him on a seat, get DD1 out who couldn't walk at the time and put her on a seat and then collapse the double buggy. The bus driver was out of order talking to you like that, but believe me, we do understand

thank you sis.

How about this system - in switzerland there is a special button outside one of the doors of the bus or tram with a picture of a pram on it. You press this and the driver knows a pram/pushchair is coming on board and can monitor it with a camera. You punch your ticket on the bus - machines everywhere for this. There is also a place where you can click you pushchair in with a "seatbelt" and sit next to it. Guess what!! - pushchairs have priority here and people actually move for you even at rushhour. When you get off you push the pram button again. There is generally no step down to the pavement as the bus fits the kerb. A really fab system that works on time as well

ooooooooooooo that sounds like heaven!!

wouldn't work here, people are too rude

ahh so a system does work.
Why don't we ever adopt a succesful system in this country?

everybody who says that you should fold the pushchair up- how? My pram takes two hands to fold.what are you supposed to do with the baby while you fold it? put it on the pavement? seriously??
there is no way that public transport is going to overtake cars in the popularity stakes when it is so bloody difficult to use .

i also dislike strangers touching my kids, it makes my skin crawl.

the other thing i hate are the rude people who sit in the seats designated for people with small children. especially when its youngsters plugged into their i- pod witheir feet stretched out so you can't squeeze the pram in and you have to get the 4 year old to sit next to a stranger half way up the bus.

hit a nerve??? oh yes! you are absolutely right flossam.

Can't understand why it's not in the uk - the blue button lets the driver know to watch the pushchair come on (also a wheelchair). Could be easily installed I suppose. Really helps lots of people - also the elderly. People give up their seats without be asked for people who really need them. Clean as well. We can only dream....

I got "told off" once for doing the same thing. However in my case the driver politely pointed out that he couldn't see me (which is surely a design flaw, but not the driver's fault) and he was concerned at what might have happened if he'd shut the doors, and that I should have told him I needed to get on at the back. It's a fair point and he made it fairly. He was not rude and abusive to me, nor did he need to be. Flossam has every right to complain.

Flossam, please don't feel put off by this thread. TBH I can see it from both points of view but the difference is that you weren't trying to insult him/be rude in front of a bus load of passengers, this certainly calls for a complaint in my opinion.

Also, I think all of us should pay no heed to the likes of VP - whoever they are has posted here many times and has often started arguments for no good reason. Best to leave such aggressive attitudes and trouble making to bus drivers!

I have crossed swords with several extremely rude and unhelpful bus drivers in my day (used to use public transport a lot with ds1). Write your letter then don't let it bother you any more - and don't let it put you off travelling by bus; you are as entitled to be on the bus as the next person!

As for victoriapeckham - she pops us from time to time for a little stir (like someone else said I suspect she has another name too) but I think she is to be taken with a large pinch of salt.

why do people feel the need to be trolls/stir? i'm too busy!

Me too - but it takes all sorts. She's annoyed me in the past and I retaliated - then felt really silly for doing so as that's obviously what she wants. So from now on I will smile sweetly and sail on by.....

Flossam, I'm so sorry to hear that someone (anyone!) dared to say these things to you. I would agree that it is best to check through personal experience. Bus drivers aren't always aware of what the people surrounding the doors are up to; my brother lost his shoe (and nearly his leg) when he was getting off a bus as a child, he was accompanied by an adult, but the driver didn't see him, so shut the doors on him on his way out. His leg was trapped but he came off quite lightly in the end.
Certain Virtual Personas have hinted that it is safer for children to travel on a lap on public transport, rather than secured in a buggy or pram. I would have to disagree as (though hardly statistical evidence but IME) when I worked for an accident claims company, I encountered many claims regarding 'loose' youngsters involved in bus accidents, but honestly none regarding a restrained child.
Whatever the circumstances though, no-one ever has the right to say to a mum the things that were said to you. It really is about time London Buses facilitated buggy/pram friendly entrance and exits (and drivers FTM!). East Manchester have (maybe all of the 'loose' children claims swung them into action?) I hope you gain some satisfation form taking this further, if only to possibly prevent this g!t from speaking to anyone else like this .

As this happened in London, make sure you complain to Transport for London as well. You can do it via their website.

I did that after being refused entry to three consecutive busses on the grounds that "If a person in a wheelchjair wanted to get on they wouldn't be able to because of your buggy". The fact that there WAS no wheelchair user seemed slightly strange to me. I had a "In what way is thei PUBLIC transport" rant to the assorted passengers.

The point of this rant is that the Mayor's Transport policy specifically mentions offering choices for transport and attempting to remove the need to use private cars. By refusing you entry to the busses the company is directly contravening this policy and effectivly forcing you to use private transport.

I had almost the same problem, get fed up of going home crying to myself for not being allowed on the bus, and as I was becoming gradually more unreliable when meeting people I caved and bought a new pram I did also buy a sling, you know the rucksack ones - I fell flat on my face when I tripped in the street! (We were fine lol) but now I'm terrified of it! I hope you get some compensation... writing nasty letters can be so refreshing!

as for collapsing buggies, when DS1 was newborn I waited for a bus, when it arrived I went to put the buggie down, to which the driver said, I've not got time for you to do that, I'm already late (no shit, I had waited 45 mins!) and drove off, leaving me there!

bus drivers and doctors receptionists all must go to the same college. (apologies to any nice bus drivers or receptionists reading this!) In my experience the majority are rude. The other day I wanted to get my buggy on the bus (the buses where I live you can fit two buggies on). Someone was already on there with a double three wheeler so the bus driver took great delight in telling me I couldn't get on. He was just about to close the doors and drive off when I told him he'd have to wait as I'd collapse my buggy. That wiped the smile off his face. Really hard job but luckily I got some help from a nice passenger Really don't let him get to you. You are a good mum!

spikeycat, that's disgusting

Flossam,

I have to sympathise with you. I also live in London but the drivers have always in the past laughed at me for trying to get on at the front and told me to go the back and now i do it automatically....I have had problems recently though as I do not take DD in her buggy to childminders in rush hour and prefer to carry her but when you push the button to be let off they give you all of 2 seconds to fight my way through the hopper bus and I have had the door closed on me and DD many a times. |Good thing they are designed to stop if anything gets in their way!!!!! I was never one for complaining before I had DD but now I get so worked up with people who make comments when we try so hard to be good mothers I'm the first to complain. Had I acted towards a customer where I worked it would be instant dismissal and so I see no reason why people should do it elsewhere regardless of proffession.

Also I was told from a bus driver himself that a driver is not allowed to refuse you onto a bus for any reason other than health and safety. How true that is I dont know but when I had a driver do the same thing to me as to you spikeycat that is what he told me.

I think you can't win with London bus drivers, they are all so contrary...you go up front to one to ask for the back doors to be opened for you, you get a stare as if you showed him your arse. Next time, you don't bother, you run the risk of getting the Flossam treatment.
I think his behaviour was inexcusable, Flossam, you were right to complain, and I hope you get a result. With your baby just two weeks old you couldn't possibly have collapsed the pram.
But like Libb and SoupDragon, I can see two sides to this. I have used buses and trains with pushchairs for the past five years and am used to dealing with public transport. As soon as my children could stand confidently for a few minutes (around 18 months), I personally was prepared to check the bus out on arrival and fold my buggy if it was crowded/already another pushchair on board.
We also bought both pushchairs on the basis that they combined being suitable from birth with being compact in size (Maclaren Opus/XTs), because we knew I'd be reliant on public transport. OK, that only works if you have the luxury of being able to choose your pushchair/pram - not everyone has.
I do find it upsetting to see mums with tiny babies turned away from buses when there are chunky three year olds sitting in easily collapsible buggies already on board.
I'm sorry, I do see inconsiderate use made of the limited space on buses to carry pushchairs, on my travels. And I also see grumpy and unhelpful oldsters and bl**dy miserable bus drivers too

i was on a bus recently when the driver saw a mother and toddler plus baby in buggy approaching an emptying busstop, and she just stepped on it and rocketed away to save a moment or so (buggy bay was empty). i remonstrated with her, and she told me to eff off. occasionally you have a lovely experience with a smiley driver, but more often in london there's a sense that mothers and children are inconveniences.

i hate it when they race off while you're wobbling down the aisle.

(bit of a tangent, but on the upside i'm sooo thrilled ken is doing away with the Routemaster doubledeckers. i can't imagine how any mother with young children managed to get on one of those unless the conductors were always primed to help with babies/collapsing buggies. i can't believe they always were.)