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Was told I don't give a shit about my baby today.

246 replies

Flossam · 18/01/2005 17:39

My pram is (unfortunately) too big to fit through the front of the buses where I live (london) but luckily buses here have back doors too, which many people use to get on and off them. I got on the bus today at the back, and as I was doing so heard the hydrolics go for them to shut, but obviously the driver realised I was getting on and stopped. Anyway, I went to the front to pay and the driver said to me 'You pull a stunt like that again on my bus and you won't get on' I had to ask him to repeat it, and then tried to explain to him that I was sorry but I couldn't fit through the front. He said I should of 'asked' first. Anyway, I wasn't too bothered, walked away having paid and two more passengers got on. To the first he said 'did you see here with that bloody pram?' And to the second he said 'obviously dosen't give a shit about here baby'.

To this I saw absolutely red and went to the front of the bus again, when he repeated what he said again, and told me I could of killed my baby (I don't think so strapped in to a secure, if bulky pram). I told him I would complain and asked him his name, he laughed, asked him the bus number, again he laughed. I decided I couldn't stay on and got off the bus at the next stop, then thought about it and asked for my money back. Surprise, surprise, he refused. I went home again, cried all the way home, and have phoned a complaint through, but still felt the need to rant here, sorry. Did he really have any right to call me that? I think it's hard enough to be a new mum without people casting such dispersions over you.

OP posts:
jangly · 22/01/2005 23:20

Perhaps the Chair of Tfl. Dave Wetzel

jangly · 22/01/2005 23:22

Vice Chair! sorry.

SofiaAmes · 23/01/2005 00:07

I've written several letters complaining about incidents with bus drivers in london and I've gotten equally useless namby pamby letters back. In fact one letter had the gall to tell me that the driver must have been having a bad day (as if somehow that excuses his running a red light, calling me a white b**ch and flipping me off).

Newbarnsleygirl · 23/01/2005 00:08

Crikey!

Flossam · 23/01/2005 13:11

ok, people, only read this if you are lined up for a rather boring sunday afternoon, here is my letter to Ken, any feed back would be greatfully appreciated!

Dear Mr Livingstone,

I am writing to you due to recent events that have occurred whilst using the cities transport system. I have written this letter to you in the hope that it may be of interest and relevance, you are a strong campaigner for public transport and are keen for people to make use of it. I would like to tell you why I will not be using buses. I have been intimidated, reduced to tears and embarrassed too many times on buses, not by other customers, but by the people who should be providing me with a service, the bus drivers. They are all too often rude, impatient and unhelpful, and it seems that there is no consequence to their actions, and therefore, no reason for them to stop this behaviour.

I have recently given birth to my first baby, I am currently on maternity leave and my partner has returned to work. I am keen not to be isolated, having recently moved to a new area where I do not know anyone. I have been trying to get out and about every day, if only for a short time, and if only to the local shops. I have been using the buses regularly, they are a cheaper form of transport, and do have the facility for accommodating uncollapsed buggies that I have found invaluable. However, in these few short weeks since my son was born I have encountered more problems than I could of imagined possible. Below I shall outline the issues I have.

Drivers have complained about how long it will take me to load up the pram on the bus.

A bus driver has tried to stop me crossing a road where there are no traffic lights or crossings, but where they were stopped at road works traffic lights, by pulling up as close as he could to the bus in front of him. When I pointed out to him that I did not believe this to be necessary, he shouted out abuse to me.

On a route we have never travelled on before, a Routemaster bus pulled up and the conductor refused to let me board, collapse me pram, or indeed assist me with this. Instead, he told me that it was ?tough? and I would have to wait another fifteen minutes for the next bus.

I am unable to load my pram up on to the bus at the front, as the aisle is too narrow for my travel system. On requesting to the driver that he let me on at the back, the driver refused, saying that the CCTV is on and will see I hadn?t paid. When I pointed out that the CCTV would then see me travel to the front of the bus to pay, he still refused. I was left waiting for the next one in the rain.

The worst incident, and the event which has prompted me to write this letter happened last week when I was trying to load up the pram on the back of the bus, where I believed the driver knew what I was doing. It transpires that he did not, and, to put his intent pleasantly, warned me off doing the same again. He then criticised me to other passengers, in the end telling one that I obviously did not give a (please excuse the language) shit about my baby. I strongly remonstrated with him about this, he told me I could have killed my baby, which I most definitely do not believe to be the case. He refused to apologise, refused to give his name or anyway of identifying the bus. He laughed at me when I requested these details.

I have complained about the last incident outlined above, and have received an apology from the Bus Company. However, they claim that despite knowing the time, date direction of travel and pick up point, as well as a description of the driver that they are unable to identify him. Since the time of making the complaint I have found the ticket for the journey in question, and will wait to see if this changes the situation. I do feel however, that insufficient effort has been put in so far to identifying this driver. He verbally assaulted me and intimidated me out of using buses alone again. What is to stop him from behaving like this again? Why should other members of the public be treated so rudely and with so little respect?

I work for the NHS, I am a nurse and if a complaint were filed against me I would be fully investigated and, I would like to think, dealt with fairly and appropriately. If I was to treat a patient in the same way as this driver treated me, I would expect to loose my job. I appreciate that bus drivers are hard to recruit, but so are nurses. We are both providing a service to the public and representing an organisation. To swear at our clients, intimidate them, laugh at them when they ask for information and to talk about them to other clients is not an acceptable way for the public to be treated.

I am therefore writing to you to put this point across, and to see if you might consider investigating how complaints are dealt with. I am aware that there is a complaint?s ombudsman to refer complaints to, and I will be using this channel if I am not satisfied or do not get any response from the bus company with regard to the ticket number. However, I do not feel that they should have to be used. I think that the bus company themselves should be regulation enough for their employees. I hope you feel that I have made some relevant points in this letter and that actions against drivers negative attitudes towards the public, and indeed

OP posts:
jrsmum · 23/01/2005 13:30

Flossam, I think your letters really good. I would have to say f the government wants us to use buses it might be a good idea to get polite helpful staff. I have only used the bus once in the 2 since i've had my son. mainly due to no one helping and drivers reving the engine impatiently. I live on a army estate when nearly everyone has small children in bugiies yet we do not get the push on buses they go on the school run and we get what I can only describe as coiaches with narrow stairs on to the bus. We as a body of 200+ have complained and requested we get the other buses, but were told there wasn't enough use. Try explain to a bus company they would make more money if we could physically get on to the bus is like banging your head against a wall.

I hope you get a response. Keep us informed!!!

BubblesDeVere · 23/01/2005 13:32

Brilliant letter Flossam. That should get the wheels in motion. And as for not knowing the driver, load of old tosh, each driver is given their own unique number which appears on the tickets whilst they are driving a particular bus.

Socci · 23/01/2005 13:40

Message withdrawn

Caligula · 23/01/2005 16:57

I'd also go to the local press about it, if you get no joy from Ken.

That would embarrass him. And the bus company.

RudyDudy · 23/01/2005 17:28

I think that's a great letter Flossam - well done you . Looking forward to hearing the response. Good luck with it and do keep us posted.

aloha · 23/01/2005 17:51

Good letter Flossam, and definitely go to the Ombudsman if you are not satisfied. I had an horrific experience once when the bus did not stop at the bus stop (NOT a request stop), but sailed past it and only stopped at a red light. I was carrying heavy shopping but managed to run to get on to it. I complained to the conductor who was really offensive, so I decided to write down the number on his badge. He then tried to intimidate me by leaning right over me and staring at me as I sat there (!) and when I asked him (pretty damn politely) to stop, he then said he was throwing me off the bus. I refused to get off, the whole bus stopped and he told me that he had called the police to have me arrested (!!) This went on for a while, and the bus driver joined in. I was even prevented from leaving the bus by these two men blocking my way and telling me I wasn't allowed to leave because the police were coming. I called my husband, explained what was happening, told these men that I was going home and would dial 999 if they tried to stop me, and eventually got off the bus. It of course transpired they were lying, they had never called the police and were seriously trying to frighten me. I complained and the guy was disciplined, but with hindsight I wish I'd taken it further and got him and the driver sacked, which they deserved. And he had a record of abusing passengers, according the bus company! As you say, we all work and would expect to be sacked for behaving half as badly. Good luck with your complaint.
BTW just two little typos in your letter (or at least your hastily typed version here) it should read 'city's transport' not 'cities' and 'lose my job' not 'loose' - hope you don't mind me pointing those out.

Flossam · 23/01/2005 17:56

Aloha, not at all, thank you very much, dp spotted the loose but not the cities!! God that really does sound terrible, absolutely awful. I can't believe people can be so unpleasant, i really can't. and and . How long ago did that happen?

OP posts:
aloha · 23/01/2005 17:59

It was just over two years ago - I know because I was still breastfeeding ds and wanted to get home in a hurry to feed him. I was in floods of tears by the time I finally did get home (on another bus). I was all alone on the bus before with two big blokes threatening me and blocking my way - it was really scary, actually. I've had crap from bus drivers since (refusing to have a buggy on the bus, general rudeness etc - and once nearly a whole busload of passengers insisted that the bus stop and let me on after it drove off without me because I couldn't get myself, ds and the (collapsed) buggy on in time) but nothing like that. I really sympathise with you. I know just how nasty some drivers and conductors can be.

franch · 23/01/2005 18:16

Aloha.

Flossam, excellent letter - you're doing us all a favour by speaking up. Please let us know Ken's response. Just one more teeny typo, hope you don't mind! "collapse me pram"

galaxy · 23/01/2005 18:39

Excellent letter - I hope it has the desired effect.

Twiglett · 23/01/2005 18:49

excellent letter Flossam .. Personally I would copy it in immediately to the Evening Standard as well as the main national papers .. I would put this cc clearly at the bottom .. that's one way to ensure that action will be taken promptly

If I may (as I'm a little bit of a curmudgeon) point out that at the end of paragraph 2 there's a small typo .. 'could of' should be 'could have'

franch · 23/01/2005 18:53

Good idea Twiglett

Flossam · 23/01/2005 19:06

I have a new money making idea for mumsnet, mumsnetter spell and grammer checkers!! Thanks very much, I may well do that Twiglett, thanks for the idea. Will talk to DP.

OP posts:
kalex · 23/01/2005 19:07

Twiglett! Fab idea!!!

Flossam, do that too

kalex · 23/01/2005 19:09

And where is KS when we need here, we are so used to reading Coddy's terible typing errors that we just read past them.

Joke Coddy l

alux · 23/01/2005 19:18

Send your letter and then be patient.

You will most likely get a reply that will apologise for a couple side issues and ignore the main point. It means writing another one, being more forceful with the focal issue and then maybe getting some sort of apology - still insulting the intelligence of a reasonable person and then writing another one.

I am currently at letter no. 3 with my old doctor's surgery after being crudely treated by the office manager at 11 weeks of pregnancy. (I am at the step where I will inform them that I am taking my case to the ombudsman.) I refuse to go away until they get the picture that I won't be fobbed off and expect the service that they are paid to provide.

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