Big Women On Airplanes!

[FlabbieAllie1978]

Roll Up people and help me with this! A good quality wine has gone to my head and given me the courage to ask out on here….
My wonderful daughter has been in a relationship for the past few years! But her partner lives away, a very long way away!! Never bothered me till now because they have travelled around without mummy!
Things are now at a point where my daughter wants me meet her partners family, also to get engaged, so they want ole me in person, over there! Now here’s the thang! I’m hugely overweight! The thought of flying fills me with dread! Sooooo much to take in! Squishing my flab into a plane seat, the obvious stares and panic from the other passengers as I waddle up the isle, getting to and using the bathroom which I will use a lot en route because stress overworks my bladder! It all freaks me out! I know I can buy two seats, use seatbelt extenders around my big tummy! Look, I’ve even watched online videos of other fat women, looks like an awful experience. I don’t want to be like poor Kate from the This Is Us flight scene on Netflix!
Having the engagement over here is not really possible because where they want to be is very special to them!!
Come on! Encouragement please!

Is losing weight a personal goal for you? Why not come over to the weight loss side of the forum and see if there is any support we can offer.

I had abandoned losing weight for vanity reasons but I had noticed that my weight was causing other issues to get worse, like incontinence or being able to be a part of my sons life and that's not something I want for the rest of my life. The right path for me is weight loss injections but I know it's not the right path for everybody but genuinely without the support of the ladies on the weight loss threads here I don't think I'd ever imagined before that it was even possible for someone like me to lose any weight at all.

It really does sound like your daughter loves you. She just wants you involved in all of her big moments, and I'm sure you love her too and also want to be a part of that for a long time to come.

Come give us a visit, and if it isn't for you or it's just not the right time, fair enough and we have all been there and understand, but you might be genuinely surprised at the kindest side of mumsnet.

For the love of God, please don't sit next to someone and literally be weeing in your pants. What the actual fuck are people suggesting to you?

I don't think any one is suggesting she wets her pants but when you suffer with incontinence you have to take precautions. OP has already said that certain movements cause a release. It's been suggested to her that she seats close to the bathroom for ease of access but takes extra steps so that she and others around her are comfortable on the flight.

There are aids available, and it's not disgusting at all to suggest she uses them or finds one suitable for her.

Yes they are. One person said she uses them when she needs an 'inconvenient wee', another said she uses them when she 'can't be arsed to walk to the toilet' another says she uses them on long coach journeys. People are absolutely suggesting she sits next to someone and has a wee.

Of course being incontinent is very different.

I have struggled with my weight for most of my adult life, so I would never wish to fat-shame anyone. However, 400 pounds equates to almost 29 stones; ie the best part of thirty stones. You are probably nearly twenty stones overweight, which is the weight of two average sized women. This cannot be good for anyone, whether flying or not. If must put a tremendous strain on your heart and joints, apart from your bladder, which you have already mentioned. I am guessing that 1978 in your username is your year of birth, which means that you are coming up for 47. You could potentially live for another thirty or more years and it would be good to live those years in the best and healthiest way you can. You could use this impending flight as the catalyst for future weight loss . At your weight, you could easily lose two or three stones by the time you fly if you start seriously tackling the problem now As others have said, if you can afford to fly business class, it is probably the best solution in the short term. After you come home, it might be worth seeking medical advice - surgery could be an option as well as Wegovy etc. In the meantime, I hope you have a wonderful time in the USA.

Also, @ChonkyRabbit, I am afraid l don’t believe you if you say that you don’t struggle with aeroplanes at that weight. If you are carrying the majority of your weight on your tummy, you would not be able to pull the table down or travel without a seatbelt extension. I would imagine, too, that your stomach would be pressing on the seat in front, which would not be comfortable for the passenger sitting directly in front of you. You would spill either side of your seat, too. I am overweight, mostly because of a couple of medical conditions. The majority of my weight is on my hips and thighs. I am around size 14, or medium, on the top, and around size 18 on the bottom. I don’t spill over the seat, but I fit quite snuggly in it either side. From what you have said, you are approximately twice my size, so you must have problems one way or another.

Not to mention that two plane seats side by side are not the equivalent of a large snuggler chair. There is a hard ridge in the middle of your bum and you'll always have a metal armrest digging into your back. You won't be able to lower your tray to eat, even if your seat is reclined at the same time, which is not allowed anyway.

I think we've reached the stage where there are so many seriously overweight people that something needs to change in air travel. Passengers should have to state that they are below a maximum weight and size when they book a standard economy seat. If, upon arrival, there is any doubt that they are going to spill into the seat next to them, or not fit into the row at all, then they should be denied boarding. Planes should be fitted with a few extra large seats in a wider row, for larger people. Not business class, still in economy with economy service, but more expensive than a regular seat. If you can't get afford it, don't fly. No-one has to fly anywhere. If you can't book a large seat on a particular flight then you'll just have to use a different flight.

Oh no, devastated but I'm sure I'll cope with your disbelief 😂

If you are on a 11 hour flight to Asia or a 17 hour flight UAE to NZ and you are pushed into a hard rigid arm rest of course you could end up bruised and with back issues.

And no you can't walk around and stretch for 17 hours.

Are people seriously suggesting pee pants for just full on peeing in?
I think most people who are fully continent would find it very difficult to just let go and pee freely into a diaper or pants. It's a mental thing as well as physical

Honestly don't even worry.
Ive flown a couple times in the past year and half.
First time I was around 350lb second time around 330lb. There was people bigger than me too.
It was snug but I coped.
Also worth checking the airline. Certain ones have smaller seat sizes and less leg room (the airline I was with!)! I didn't know this till after, I just assumed they were all the same.

If toileting is going to be an issue, book the seat at the back of the plane. I've had to do this due to travel sickness and being close to the toilet seemed the smartest solution.

Good luck, and enjoy it!
The plane is only one part of the trip! Your daughter will love you being there and that's the main thing.
It's easier said than done, but don't worry about anyone's opinion. Live your life to the fullest and be unapologetic about it!

For those denying injury could happen

www.theguardian.com/business/2002/oct/22/theairlineindustry.travelnews

Internal bleeding, severe bruising and torn muscles.

There are plenty of other similar stories.

I actually don't know how the airline can expect a person to sit next to another person who is so large that they are encroaching on that passenger's space. Airline seats are tight enough at the best of times, even for people who are not significantly overweight. It's simply not acceptable to pay for a seat and a journey in which you cannot have at least the minimum acceptable level of comfort and safety, simply in order to accommodate somebody else, when they are the problem. If planes are going to have to always keep a seat or two back for these sort of issues, in order to be able to move passengers as the need arises, then they may as well keep rows of bigger seats available at a higher cost, for bigger people. More and more people are going to be sueing their airlines I think, if there is no alternative seat made available to them and they risk being crushed for several hours at a time.

I think we've reached the stage where there are so many seriously overweight people that something needs to change in air travel

Perhaps they could have a cage at the gate like budget airlines have for carry on bags. If you don’t fit, you don’t fly.

No I wasn't suggesting that at all. For small leaks that may happen on the way to the toilet as this what they are made for, not full on peeing in.
No where in the ads does it say - have a full pee in your pants and you will be fine it says they are for leaks.

You are reading what you want to read - I said I use them on long coach journeys, I didn't say I have a pee in them, they are made for emergency small leaks.

well I wouldn't go quite that far, but I do honestly think there should be a weight limit for a regular economy seat, yes. It just isn't fair on other passengers otherwise. It's nothing personal, it's just practical common sense and a sense of fairness and responsibility to the passengers who are inconvenienced by having to share the already quite small space the paid for.

Not to mention there might be prolonged periods where you have to keep in your seat with your seatbelt on. And why on earth should you have to stand up and walk around for hours rather than sit in the seat you paid for? People who are in denial about ruining someone else's flight experience with their size are just like smokers in denial that they can ruin someone's outdoor dining experience with their smoking at an adjacent table. 'It's outdoors, how bad can it really be? Stop whining and making a fuss about nothing, trying to make me feel bad for no good reason.'

Honestly, if I were this size I wouldn't dare fly economy in one seat and risk ruining someone else's flight experience. Not only would I be too embarrassed but I have a conscience and a sense of decency.

Yes they are, it’s poster earlier on in the thread. One person wears them for coach journeys and another wears them to concerts. Neither poster mentioned incontinence which, of course, is different,

Be careful with premium economy. When I flew the seat had fixed moulded sides albeit a little wider but prob better to have two economy seats where you can raise the arm rest

Front row seats in economy often have fixed armrests too because the table is stored inside.

Airlines need to cater for larger customers, anyone squeezing into a too small seat put themselves and the person next to them at risk. Until seats are larger then you have to buy an extra seat or fly business, what other choice is there. Airlines are out to make a profit but the safety and comfort of all their passengers and staff has to be their priority. You can't expect any passenger not to be able to sit comfortably and not be able to get up and walk around.

Airline seats are getting smaller,not larger. I'd say the last thing they care about is comfort.

I'm size 12 and 5 foot 2 and I'm very uncomfortable on a long haul flight in economy. The seats are so narrow, people on front recline so you have the back of their seat in your face. God knows how tall people cope.

Wegovy is available now so hopefully fewer people will be morbidly obese.

I agree. I was a 12/14 last time I flew and felt like I was as big as would be comfortable in the economy seat. It was Jet2 for anyone bigger thinking about seat sizes.

Buying an extra seat is probably the best option for the overly wide, and everybody else. Making seats wider will inevitably mean fewer seats and higher fares for everybody.

My husband is very tall with long legs and has accepted that he must pay more for extra legroom to be comfortable, despite his height being entirely out of his control. He doesn’t have the option to make himself shorter. Cramming himself into a standard seat means those in sitting in front getting pummelled in their backs by his knees and his legs encroach on the adjacent seat space.