Big Women On Airplanes!

[FlabbieAllie1978]

Roll Up people and help me with this! A good quality wine has gone to my head and given me the courage to ask out on here….
My wonderful daughter has been in a relationship for the past few years! But her partner lives away, a very long way away!! Never bothered me till now because they have travelled around without mummy!
Things are now at a point where my daughter wants me meet her partners family, also to get engaged, so they want ole me in person, over there! Now here’s the thang! I’m hugely overweight! The thought of flying fills me with dread! Sooooo much to take in! Squishing my flab into a plane seat, the obvious stares and panic from the other passengers as I waddle up the isle, getting to and using the bathroom which I will use a lot en route because stress overworks my bladder! It all freaks me out! I know I can buy two seats, use seatbelt extenders around my big tummy! Look, I’ve even watched online videos of other fat women, looks like an awful experience. I don’t want to be like poor Kate from the This Is Us flight scene on Netflix!
Having the engagement over here is not really possible because where they want to be is very special to them!!
Come on! Encouragement please!

Your DD has a point re business class- roomy, alcohol options are pretty good. A movie, a nap and you’re there!

I’ve tried experimenting at home but it will be the stress that will make me go

I’ve got till March! Been putting it to the back of my mind sooooooo much! dd is getting a bit annoyed, understatement of the year so far, more 🍷please!

OK as someone who has travelled at a size 24 in economy it wasn't comfortable getting up and down is fine etc BUT its crowded and Uk to US is a long flight to be uncomfortable and grumpy from lack of sleep. I did just about manage without an extender but I did ask for one and it was fine everyone is so busy its really easy to ask discreetly and the cabin crew are great.

I am now alot smaller in comparison - size 18, 14 st but last year we did New York from Uk and we travelled premium econ and it was fab and I remember thinking that it would have been so much better when I was bigger.

So I think there are a few things

1. Do try and lose some weight BUT be realistic its unlikely to be several stone before you fly but it WILL still make you feel more comfortable
2. The fitter you are the better too there is alot of walking about between places and with luggage, if you are fitter you will be able to travel better, do things when you are there and deal with the stress of meeting everyone etc

I say these 2 with the best heart it will all hold you in good stead

then 3. Travel in bigger seats - doesn't have to be first but def not economy.

Travel comfy but smart and with as little luggage as possible.

Leave yourself room for shopping as shopping for larger sizes is ALOT better in the US

I hope you manage it all and have a great time.

When you get there you will feel smaller I promise - so many larger people I felt really small in comparison!!!

Let's do this! I got very stressed going through security once before, so I have a sunflower lanyard. I will smile bravely at the cabin crew and not be ashamed to ask for help.

Have a look on Amazon Abri Sans pads & v attractive net knickers. My sister (similar size to you) uses them for journeys, as she sounds similar to you re her bladder issues & she does fly business, more room.

How are you getting along the aisle?
My recent BA flight had a couple of rows right at the back with only two seats. The aisle was a little wider there (good for bending/stretching exercises) and you could possibly reserve both seats. If you couldn't, then st least there's only 1 person next to you.
There's also the advantage of a nearby toilet right at the back with the plus point that the toilet is directly ahead of you when you stand at the door which means you could reverse into the toilet and sit right down.

Ask your doctor to prescribe Solifenacin for you, and start using it at least a week if not a month before you leave. It's for calming over-active bladders, and what a difference! No more getting up in the middle of the night and planning tube journeys around location of public loos.

If you don't drink too much before you leave or while on board, apart from just enough for proper hydration, of course, you might not need the onboard facilities.

www.nhs.uk/medicines/solifenacin/

I do like wearing loose fitting dresses and skirts, some make my tummy look bigger but I like the freedom of not shoehorning my bulk into tight leggings as my daughter does. I do wear trainers most of the time, my feet can spread and not hurt after I stand too long. I could hide the seatbelt under my belly! And the talk about incontinence pads too! 😉

Have you looked at the prices for Business class and 2 seats in Economy? I don't think it will be a huge difference in price, but you'll have the most comfort in Business class for a very long flight. Toilet will be tight, but I'm sure you fit in when needed (don't think you are the only overweight person who ever fly on the plane).Stop stressing out, discuss the option re Business class with your DD (maybe she would be able to contribute something) and be there for her. Good luck!

Is it likely that you will be flying regularly to America as if so it might help for the next flight and the one after that if you lost a bit? There is a weight loss section on a different part of the forum and it’s really supportive if that’s a route you choose to take.

If you are going to need to travel there regularly two seats is going to be expensive

If it's transatlantic look at premium economy rather than business class because the bc pods need more dexterity and pe is cheaper

It's clearly very important to your daughter that you're there, otherwise discussions wouldn't get so emotionally fraught.

You have had some good advice about incontinence aids, and seatbelt extenders, booking extra seats, legroom seats etc.

Have you thought about the long term? If your daughter is looking to blend families across countries you might find yourself in this situation more than once and this could be the push to make lifestyle changes.

But also as a fellow big girl, I promise you that nobody on the flight is going to oggle at you or scoff at you asking for ways to make yourself comfortable. There are a lot of judgemental people in the world, sure, but thankfully they reserve their judgements for when they're behind a screen and keyboard because the people that feel entitled to an opinion about you asking for help are cowards.

I flew to New York when a size 22 and the seat was fine in premium economy but the aisles were tight as were the bathrooms..... it wasn't comfortable and my feet swelled really badly each way. I booked an aisle seat near a loo but didn't count on the window seat passenger wanting to get up like a jack in a box and keep walking round.

At 400lbs OP, truthfully I would tell your daughter that you're worried about the health risks to yourself .... and I would see your GP about the risk of blood clots.

OP, have you ever flown business? Because there is so much more space than in economy and your whole 'area' is individual so no question of encroaching on others. It can also be quite affordable if you aren't to fussed about exactly when / what route you fly. I would be looking at that as the first port of call.

I flew to Japan for work as a size 24 but was fortunate that they still hadn’t opened up tourist visas after Covid and so there was nobody sitting next to me. With that said, a lot of my excess weight is belly, so I didn’t feel especially cramped in the seat. Just a snuggish fit. Same on the connecting flight back from Helsinki to London, where I did have someone next to me, and it was all fine, so I think the weight distribution is key here.

I asked for the seat extender as I boarded, just as a precaution, and it was all very discreetly handled. I was told by cabin crew that the loo on one side was bigger than the other, so worth checking that out as well.

I believe there is one airline in the US that gives plus size passengers the second seat for free within the US, so that’s probably worth a Google if it looks like you might need a connecting flight: maybe that’s the solution if you cruise over?

Has anyone got a link for those Pee Pants please? I think I need something like this due to my urgency to need an inconvenient wee on long journeys etc.

Also, I'm going to delicately ask this and don't eat me alive please..... but do these pants and incontinence pads ahem.... smell of wee after a while? Thanks.

OP I hope you get on that plane and have a fabulous time with your daughter and enjoy the celebrations!

You see the online videos and it’s always bad news for the big girl. I never thought flying would feature in my life again and certainly not at 29 stone!

Can you let us know the city ? We may know some options like driving or public transport…..

I don't know whether they sell this in UK but my mom use to go to the bathroom at least 10 times a night. I have been giving this Wee less to her and it has really helped. Its a vitamin and when I rang the company they said it has magnesium in it which my mom takes for her cramps.

Fly jet blue ( US economy transatlantic airline) and get either economy plus or business seats for less money. Also a pair of seats is better I think.
defo call the airline and speak as you won’t be the first person with these queries

I think they absorb the smell. But would need to be changed as soon as you landed. I’d probably smell before the pads will 😂😂😢

As it's only a few weeks away I just wouldn't go. I don't really see how it's possible. There is no easy way of fitting into an aeroplane seat at 29 stone, not even in business class.

If you had at least six months but better still a year, you could spend the difference between business class and economy on some Wegovy. You'd still be very large, you might even still need two seats, but at least it would be doable.

By March you've got no hope, frankly. Sorry if that's not the encouragement you were hoping for but there's no point telling you lies. Stick to meeting the parents on Zoom and focus on trying to lose weight in time for the wedding.

https://www.cheekywipes.com/womens-incontinence.html

I got mine here. I've never noticed them smelling but I don't pee much in them. For some reason, when I have a cold, I pee constantly and have very poor bladder control. Ditto when I drink, so I wear them when I'm ill or having a night out.

They're also a lifesaver if you have heavy periods.

Have you got good health insurance?

How heavy is your daughter?

Buy three seats between you.