UC expects single parents to work 30 hours, any tips on how to do it?

[Llama98]

I’m new to mumsnet but this is really stressing me out at the moment. I have a son (will be 4 in a couple of weeks) and a daughter (will be 2 in a couple of weeks, there birthdays are days apart from each other 😆)
and I’ve already had 2 meetings telling me that when youngest is three in a year I need to work 30 hours.
I live on my own, have no help and the dads only have the kids over night every other weekend just for one night.
I always get “what about grandparents” but they all have full time jobs or are disabled and cannot physically look after young children.

So I just want to know, how do I do it 😭

Being alone with next to no help is hard enough as it is. My Daughter starts nursery soon and I couldn’t even find space for the kids to be in nursery at the same time!
I work a couple of hours a week but that’s dependent on if my daughters dad cancels on me (he likes to just declare he’s going travelling or has other stuff to do) as he will look after her a couple of hours so I can work but that’s only 5 hours a week.

i also can’t drive so doing drop offs, getting to the job then pick ups again will be difficult. If it was 16 hours needed to work I could probably just about (and I really mean just about) manage it all.

has anyone had any experience with not being able to meet the 30 hours and if so what happens? There are not many flexible jobs and I would need one to make this work.

sorry about any mistakes i do struggle with my dyslexia quite a bit 😅

Lately I’ve thought of getting a diagnosis with it because I think then a driving instructor can approach differently

A diagnosis really isn't needed. Tell your driving instructor you suspect you've got dyspraxia (DCD) and ask what they might be able to do to help.

They don't bring their kids with them...

Exactly. So childcare is needed.

I think you've misinterpreted me. I was saying that it wouldn't be right for a single parent to turn their home into a childcare facility every evening and weekend as this wouldn't be fair on their own children. I'm sure there's plenty of childless people who have the capacity to offer such hours.

I've never heard of a childminder without their own children. It's that how most start? As a solution to their own childcare needs and needing to earn money. No doubt childless childminders exist but I've never met one.
Honestly, this thread. Every single solution and suggestion mentioned is rejected by some - 'single parents can't do that'.
I despair.

Most child minders don't work late evenings AND weekends though, so their kids get some time with them, and a chance to leave the house. I think you've missed the point. I was responding to the poster who said single parents should fill the gap of a lack of weekend and late evening childcare available. Would you expect your children to never be able to go anywhere except school because mum is childminding at home all evening and weekends? How would these evening and weekend single parent childminders take their kids to the cinema, bowling, a farm, swimming, for example?

They could do evenings or weekends, just like many, many other parents have to work evenings and weekends.
I'm sure not all single parents have this 'can't to that' attitude to every single suggestion going.

You seem to be missing the point that kids need to unwind after school and at the weekend. How are they going to unwind with a group of stranger children in their living room? How about if they've got swimming lessons, cubs, dance, gymnastics to go to during the week? Should they just miss out on all that because there aren't enough school hours jobs for their parent?
Or should the alternative be that they never actually get to relax at home any weekend ever because the house is full of children, and can't even go to birthday parties because mum is looking after four or five other children at home and can't take her own child anywhere? That's cruel for the child/ren.

I find it strange that people are giving unrealistic expectations.i can't imagine having a child and putting them in nursery or childcare when they are like 9 months old

Hi 👋 I’m new on here this is my first post. I’m looking for some advice about UC and working. I’m a single mum of two children one of which is disabled. I’ve been offered a job which will be 31 hours a week. Annual £25000 so about £1500 a month roughly. My rents £1250 and that’s not including my other bills. Will I still get help? I’m scared if I take the job I will be worse off money wise. Any help would be appreciated

I used to be a single parent working 30 hours. I dropped dd at the childminder, started work at 8, finished at 2pm and could pick her up after school every day. Got help with childcare fees, free hours etc and it was fine. Did it for many years and it worked well.

I feel for you op, I have 2 kids and a partner but we have no family support and so it’s a juggling act!
ive built up a network of mum friends and we all help each other out
I know our local children’s centre have information sessions on about returning to work/ childcare/ finances etc….. it might be worth seeing what is available in your area.

it can be daunting but you’ll get there ❤️

An adult diagnosis of dyspraxia will be very hard to get in this country. You might as well assume you have it and and try to find ‘ways round it’ and things that help you as you’re unlikely to get a diagnosis now.

You would be better starting your own thread for advice as people will come on here and reply to the post at the top.

I am sure you won't lose all your benefits as having a disabled child should mean that you will still receive DLA plus some of the disabled child element and carer element of UC. You should also still receive a significant proportion of childcare costs I think. If you go to the Turn 2 us website you can put in all the figures and see what it comes out with.

It’s not unrealistic. It’s not what many of us would like to do but it is necessary if you have a family to provide for. Everybody I know went back to work after 7-12 months of maternity leave and their children went to nursery, with the exception of two friends who became SAHMs supported financially by their husbands.

How are things going now @Llama98, almost a year on? I hope you’re finding things a bit easier and have found some work and childcare arrangements that make the juggle possible.

Well who would you like to look after them when you go back to work? If you can't afford a nanny then nursery is the most common option.