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Original poster

Advice (Financial) Needed Re Possible Seperation

24 replies

WestCountryLass · 02/01/2005 22:26

To cut to the chase, unless my DH sorts his shit out then I will be leaving him so I wondered if any MNers could give me the low down on my rights.

I am a SAHM to our kids aged 3 and 5 months, I also have a 25% share in our business. We have our house on the market anyway as we decided to sell so what percentage of the equity would I be entitled to (50%?).

Also, what sort of a percentage of my husbands salary would be allocated as maintainance for the kids?

My plan would be to either rent a flat with the proceeds of our house sale/maintainance. Or to buy a flat and use the maintainance for the bills. Could I even get a mortgage with maintaince as my monthly income (no salary as such)?

TIA

OP posts:
FeastofStevenmom · 02/01/2005 22:42

don't know much about this - hope someone is along soon with the lowdown on this.

as I understand it, the CSA website would be best place to look at starting point for maintenance - IIRC it is 15% of income if you have 1 child, a bit more for more than one. you might also find it useful to look at benefits agency information as to what you might be entitled to.

Caligulights · 02/01/2005 22:50

WCL, I wouldn't count on receiving any maintenance. The enquiry in October showed what ex-wives of self-employed men already know: they're the least likely group of men to pay any maintenance at all, and they get away with it because the CSA are piss-poor. Banks I presume know this, so I'm not sure you could get a mortgage on the strength of maintenance payments which may never materialise.

Wig and Robe can probably give you more detailed advice about other stuff - if she's about.

Original poster
WestCountryLass · 02/01/2005 22:51

Well if it makes any difference the company is a Ltd company so DH is employed by his own company if you see what I mean.

OP posts:
Caligulights · 02/01/2005 23:03

May make a difference - what about the house - if the kids are staying with you, you should get more than 50% because of needing it as the family home, at least until the youngest is 18. But again, others will know better than me.

hunkermunker · 02/01/2005 23:04

Wig&Robe is now JudgeFlounce - I'm sure she'll give you sterling advice, WestCountryLass.

Original poster
WestCountryLass · 02/01/2005 23:09

Well I would still probably want to sell the house as I could move to a cheaper houe with less up keep (Victorian property that will need work doing on it in future) and which would be cheaper in terms of Council Tax insurance etc.

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Freckle · 02/01/2005 23:10

Courts look at needs and resources when deciding who gets what. With children to care for, your needs will be greater than dh's, so you should get a greater share of available capital. However, if you do not use any proceeds from the sale of the house to purchase alternative accommodation, this will be classed as capital and you will therefore be very unlikely to receive anything in the way of benefits.

The CSA has a set formula for maintenance, but you may be able to persuade your dh to pay more than the standard rate, as I personally think that the CSA has b&gger all idea of what it costs to raise a child.

Original poster
WestCountryLass · 02/01/2005 23:18

Thanks for that. I was wondering what the best option would be in terms of using the proceeds from the house sale. My husband will be reasonable, at least I hope so as 15% od his salary is not an awful lot to bring up 2 kids!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
WestCountryLass · 02/01/2005 23:19

PS. Am hoping to avoid the courts for the obvious reasons.

OP posts:
Freckle · 02/01/2005 23:21

Are you not planning on divorcing then? If you are, then you will need to use the courts. However, if you and your dh can agree finances between you, there will be no need for the court to intervene, unless the settlement is obviously unfair.

Original poster
WestCountryLass · 02/01/2005 23:32

I don't want a divorce tbh. I am hoping we can have a trial seperation and my DH will sort his shit out when he realises what he stands to lose. My parents sorted all the financial and parental aspects out themselves when they divorced and then a solicitor sorted out the divorce, I was hopig to go that route but that was ages ago. Have things changed a lot, will everything have to be sorted out in court now? Crikey!

OP posts:
rickman · 02/01/2005 23:46

Message withdrawn

Original poster
WestCountryLass · 03/01/2005 00:22

Thanks everyone for the advice/info so far. I'm off to sleep now, better have my wits about me tomorrow

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JudgeFlounce · 03/01/2005 11:34

Message deleted

hunkermunker · 03/01/2005 12:04

JF, you're super.

JudgeFlounce · 03/01/2005 13:26

Message deleted

Original poster
WestCountryLass · 03/01/2005 15:54

Sort of. I don't want to leave him but I feel I have to as, as much as I love him, he is a bit of a drinker and it is affecting our family life now. I don't want to take him to the cleaners, all I want to know is will I be able to afford to SAH until my DD goes to school (she is 5 months)? I am trying to work out whether, if the worst does happen, I will be able to make ends meet with the equity in the house and with maintainance payments for the next 4.5 years.

I hope that makes sense and I would appreciate a bit of insight into how these things work but I don't want to out you out.

TIA

OP posts:
JudgeFlounce · 03/01/2005 16:02

Message deleted

Original poster
WestCountryLass · 03/01/2005 19:26

I hear what you are saying. I think i've been as supportive as I can be and we've explored all the avenues you can but I will not let this affect our kids kwim?

Its OK. I can't do anything until our house is sold anyway.

Thanks for replying

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JudgeFlounce · 03/01/2005 19:36

Message deleted

JudgeFlounce · 03/01/2005 19:44

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Original poster
WestCountryLass · 03/01/2005 20:46

Thanks for clarifying. I am hoping we would have an equal share as we both contributed to the hosuehold until I had DS which was only 3 years ago and I did pay the deposit.

I haven't really thought about contact. I would hope we could come to an amicable arrangment as DS worships DH.

OP posts:
Original poster
WestCountryLass · 03/01/2005 20:46

Thanks for clarifying. I am hoping we would have an equal share as we both contributed to the hosuehold until I had DS which was only 3 years ago and I did pay the deposit.

I haven't really thought about contact. I would hope we could come to an amicable arrangment as DS worships DH.

OP posts:
JudgeFlounce · 04/01/2005 15:00

Message deleted

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