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Original poster

Has anyone else got kids that dont at all resemble you physically?

81 replies

earlycomputers · 07/04/2008 07:08

My 2 daughters (4yrs and 2yrs) dont seem to look like me in any way physically. Whenever I see other people's kids they at least bear some similar traits, but I feel that I couldn't spot mine as being 'mine' in a line-up. It's a good job I am am not the father as I would be worried that I wasn't the biological father!
They definitely resemble dh though so I know they are ours!
But still, I get fed up with the comments from dh's inlaws that they look like dh's family and that they have inherited all their good qualities from his side of the family. It makes me feel like I am just the 'vessel' to pass on his genes instead of mine.
Can anyone else relate to this?

OP posts:
solo · 11/04/2008 13:07

My Ds is my image except he has his fathers nose. We have a light olive skin tone.
My Dd is (I think)the image of her daddy, but she has white skin, curly caucasion light coloured hair and blue eyes. Daddy has black skin and brown eyes...I have brown eyes, Ds has brown eyes...Ds's father had blue eyes. Even my GP asked me about the eyes last week!
My Dp gets odd looks when he's carrying our Dd...you know, they look at her, then him, then her again. What's that about then?

Tutter · 11/04/2008 13:10

cripes yes

ds2 looks almost oriental - eyes are so dark that you cannot see the outline of the pupil. almond shaped eyes. hair was black at birth

my hair is reddy-light-brown. i have green eyes

ChopsTheDuck · 11/04/2008 13:19

yep, my younger look like their dad. Often when we're out people have grabbed them thinkign they are lost and look straight through me hunting for a mother that actually looks like them.

solo · 11/04/2008 20:54

Wow Tutter, He sounds gorgeous!

PutThatInYourPipeandSmokeIt · 11/04/2008 21:34

You just need more children - the next two will look like you!

expatinscotland · 11/04/2008 21:35

mine don't, thankfully.

they look like their dad, especially DD1.

DD2 has my skin tone and eyes.

but you'd never think DD1 was my daughter if you stood us next to each other.

ranting · 11/04/2008 21:38

Neither of mine look like me, although people invariably say when they first meet us 'oh they look like you', when they meet their fathers (different dads, I know, shoot me) they soon change their minds.

harpomarx · 11/04/2008 21:44

my ds is mixed race, I am white. No one ever (hardly) says she looks like me. My dh is black, pretty dark skinned. People hardly ever say she looks like him cos she's 'light-skinned'

it's like people are so hung up on skin colour they can't be bothered to look at her features, personality, gestures etc etc.

all i get is endless comments about her hair, yes it's gorgeous but stop blardy asking to touch it!!!!!!!

liath · 11/04/2008 21:53

It really bothered me that dd looked nothing like me even though i was expecting it as I'm white and DH is chinese. Didn't help when MIL said crass things like "OOh, she's all DH isn't she, doesn't look anything like you, Liath". I remember trawling though my parents' old photos to see if there was any resemblence to me as a baby.

I have to say I've got to grips with it now, dd has a lot of my mannerisms and personality and she and ds are just such stunning kids and I'm relieved they don't have my pasty skin and sun-sensitivity.

DontCallMeBaby · 11/04/2008 21:56

harpo, that reminds me of friends of friends where she was convinced her daughter looked nothing like her, but I really thought she did - it's just she had her father's (caucasian) colouring, but entirely her mother's features (not sure of mum's origins, middle eastern of some description I think). Kind of weird that one of the actual parents did the thing you're talking about.

harpomarx · 11/04/2008 21:56

but it's annoying liath, isn't it.

society is so geared up to recognise 'racial' features that that's all people see..

makes me sad.

taipo · 11/04/2008 21:56

Dd looks like dh although her body language is very much like mine.

Ds resembles neither of us really and looks very much like my mum.

DontCallMeBaby · 11/04/2008 22:08

I don't see any real resemblance between DD and either DH or me. Superficially, we're all Anglo-Celtic white, pale with it, not dark-haired (DD is bright blonde, DH is fair, no one has seen my natural hair colour for the last 20 years), so no real 'are you SURE that's your child?' moments, but I just don't see any further resemblance. Other people do though, and I wonder if you just don't see the familiar sometimes? That your own face and your partner's are just so familiar that you don't see them reflected in your child's?

harpomarx · 11/04/2008 22:15

I think you're right DCMB, but have you ever looked at your own baby/child photos? I bet you would see the resemblance then.

and you might even remember your hair colour !

DontCallMeBaby · 11/04/2008 22:38

Heh, I actually have a scanned photo of a small DH on Flickr with the caption "Comparing toddly DH with toddly DD ... hm, I think my genetic material got lost somewhere along the way" I do know that my hair was blonde back then though, it definitely isn't now!

pinkbubble · 11/04/2008 22:41

I thought that my DDs would all be brown haired and brown eyed girls (taking after me!), how wrong could I be! They are all blue eyed and 2 of them are a very strong strawberry blonde/teachan (sp) and my other DD is blonde/mousey!

Califrau · 11/04/2008 22:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wishfort · 12/04/2008 00:30

My ds looks nothing like me and is the spit of her dad.
Weirdly, all her cousins all look exactly like the in-law side. Looks like the line's thinning out.

Oh, yes, and dh claims all ds's better characteristics, except for the one she can't help and shares with me; a scarily long and accurate memory.

littleshebear · 12/04/2008 09:29

My eldest DD looks exactly like her dad.I struggle to identify my genetic input!The other three are more of a mix, but youngest dd looks most like me.

solo · 12/04/2008 11:26

My Dp actually suggested that perhaps our Dd was swapped in the hospital at birth simply because she is soooo pale skinned and blue eyed and blonde...he can't see the resemblance between her and himself(must admit, he had me thinking about the short stay in the hospital and wondering if she could have been swapped!). If people see me with her, they say...' isn't she like you' I say no and if inclined I get the picture out then they immediately change their minds. I do think it is the ethnic colouring and characteristics that people see and not the glaringly obvious other bits.
I know she's mine so I'm not worried. I do wish she wasn't quite so pale though! she's often likened to corned beef!
For about 3 years I could not see that my Ds looked like me...all I could see was his absent father...I then saw a photo of the two of us and THEN I had my eyes opened!

pic of my two in my profile pictures.

ALMummy · 12/04/2008 22:03

My kids dont really look like either of us except every now and then they will have a look or expression about them that is the absolute image of DH. My DS has huge blue eyes, DH and I are both blue eyed but they are not as nice as his and my DD has her Dads eye shape, which selfishly makes me a bit sad. I suppose I wanted my daughter to at least have MY eyes if she had to have anyones, also they are a silvery green colour as well and I dont know WHERE that came from!

Nighbynight · 12/04/2008 22:28

oh goodness yes I can totally relate to this. dd1 appears to have got EVERYTHING from her father's side of the family.

Other children at school have even asked her if she is adopted, as they've never seen her father and she is so unlike me!

Surely she must have 50% of her genes from me, so where have they all gone??

Megglevache · 12/04/2008 22:30

Message withdrawn

choccypig · 12/04/2008 22:35

My DS is the absolute spit of his Dad, who is incredibly gorgeous looking.
Luckily however, he takes after me in the brains department. I dread to think how he'd have got on if it were the other way round.

jingleyjen · 12/04/2008 22:37

Boys don't look like me at all (I don't think)
DH is chinese and the boys don't really look chinese either.. (photo's on profile)

however I don't mind ..

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