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Original poster

Does anybody else feel physically drained?

19 replies

colditzcolditzcold · 27/12/2004 00:13

I have had to physically restrain a toddler nearly all day, and it wasn't tantrums, it was unsuitable houses, where I couldn't put him down. every muscle in my body aches, my smiling mechanism has shut down in self-defence. Am I the only person who slightly resents christmas

OP posts:

NotQuiteCockney · 27/12/2004 14:01

I resent it. DS1 got out of school on the 10th! Woohoo, it's holiday time, you can cope with a three-year-old and a three-month-old! And everything's shut!

And the pressure for everything to be perfect makes family visits much worse than the rest of the year. Everyone's much more highly strung as we eat too much sugar and are boxed in by piles of presents we probably didn't want or need.

whowantstobeamillionare · 27/12/2004 15:43

am so glad that someone else is feeling the strain...beginning to think was a bad mother dh and I have had ds 91/2 and dd nearly 8 since Christmas Eve and there is no relief from Grandparents and friends are now away. I have only escpaed by playing horses with them, Scrabble, planting seeds and then feeling 3 hours of entertainment nearly 4 justifies a rest...it is quite depressing actually and find it very hard to cope all the time..Do your children sleep colditzcolditzcold so you can have an hour to yourself...or are your rels around to help you...feel free to vent here as know exactly how you feel....btw don't resent Christmas but all the attention that has to be given that so emotionally drains you..it is too cold to go for a walk just yet...hope you're alright and sorry for babbling but felt like babbling.

Original poster

colditzcolditzcold · 27/12/2004 19:59

OOOooooo, it's just that we went to see my partners relatives, aunties, uncles, cousins, big dogs, rabbits that bite, stairs without gates, open fire, presents on floor, ornaments everywhere, 17 adults and one child (mine) in one small house.

Phew! Plus a lot of people that I don't see from one year to the next, and therefore don't know, had bought me a present and as I don't even know who they are I didn't buy them anything.

And it is traditional in that house for the ladies to do all the cooking, and with my "childcare" responsabilities, I couldn't help.

And I was disapproved of for feeding my child a cheese sandwich brought from home at 12 noon, a full 2 and a half hours before lunch actually made an appearance. I was actually trying to spare everyone a hungry toddler tantrum, but hey, maybe they would rather I starved him into appreciation of his late lunch!!

By half past one, I felt like crying, I wanted to go home. My mum was picking us up at 3, and we don't drive. It was the sort of gathering where in your minds eye, you can see some idiot uncle giving the toddler a "taste" of Baileys the second your back is turned - especially as last year I made it clear that if anyone actually did this, they would be spending the day in casualty.

And feeling guilty for taking toddler for a walk, instead of shouting (shrieking!!) "My child is allowed to make a noise, he is 20 months old!!!"

And feeling bad for getting cross. None of them are bad people really.

OP posts:

OhComeLetUsADiorHim · 27/12/2004 20:04

I have felt like that for three years, but this year was the first one where I felt ds was old enough and safety conscious enough (?) to be allowed to run around more. He is 3y 7m, and he behaved incredibly well. The last few Xmases were horrendous though, so I know where you are coming from!

Original poster

colditzcolditzcold · 27/12/2004 20:10

People forget, that must be what it is, they forget how hard it is to stop toddlers doing silly, dangerous things. They forget that a toddler sees only amusemant and pleasure in throwing small, handmade soaps down the toilet.

And because you don't dare let go of your child, they never see what would happen if you DID let go !!

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OhComeLetUsADiorHim · 27/12/2004 20:14

Totally agree. It is a horrible time, because you don't want to just allow your child to destroy their non-child-friendly house. My In-Laws' house is so useless for small children, as there are ornaments everywhere, and no box of toys for any of their grandchildren. Cue lots of bored toddlers and school age children!

Original poster

colditzcolditzcold · 27/12/2004 20:18

My dad invited us to his house last night, my first thought when we walked in was

"You knew we were coming, why have you left lighted candles all over the FLOOR!!!!!"

OP posts:

OhComeLetUsADiorHim · 27/12/2004 20:23

Doh!!

My mum leaves carving knives near the edge of the kitchen worktops. I go in to the kitchen, and push them all back!

Original poster

colditzcolditzcold · 27/12/2004 20:27

Being a toddlermum turned me into one hell of a safety inspecter, I know that. I automatically scan every room we walk into for saftey hazards. It's all I can do to restrain myself at mealtimes from barking "Not in your mouth!"

OP posts:

KristmasBear · 27/12/2004 20:55

My friend has two small children and she never takes them to visit her brother and his wife (no kids) because they have a GLASS or crystal chess set on the living room coffee table.

NOOOOOOOOOO

Gobbledigoose · 27/12/2004 21:03

I've got a friend with a 3 yr old and 18 month old and she doesn't have a child friendly house either! Visiting her is horrendous as she just tells them off constantly for touching this, that and the other - there is practically nothing at toddler height that I don't want them to touch or that is harmful in my house - far less stressful.

I also push knives back on the worktops at my Mums.

Donbean · 27/12/2004 21:08

Totally knackard!!!!
People just come to us, its SSSSSOOOOOOOOOO much easier. Ive stopped agreeing to go any where where people dont have kids.
Far far too stressfull.......it makes me very nearly break out in a slight sweat.....

merrymarthamoo · 27/12/2004 22:21

This is why we stay at home!

Original poster

colditzcolditzcold · 27/12/2004 22:27

Yes, surely people would rather sit in my slightly chocolate-coated squalor than risk their own possesions?

OP posts:

SPARKLER1clausiscomingtotown · 27/12/2004 22:30

Yep. I'm feeling it. Was only saying to dh today that, although it sounds awful, I can't actually wait to get the xmas decs down and get kids back to school. So much has happened around here, 2 family funerals before xmas (see other thread), dd injured finger in supermarket door and now we are restricted as to what and where we can go for the rest of the school hols. She can't get hand wet or dirty - that counts out swimming, beach and playareas! So as you can imagine they are bored out of their heads, arguing and driving me up the wall!!!! Cheerful aren't I??

SmokedSamN · 27/12/2004 23:09

I'm so glad that Xmas was at ours this year (the first time we've had a place large enough) as dp's parents had their living room done up in the last couple of years with lovely pale furniture and a cabinet with glass doors right down to the floor . I know they partly did it because when their kids were growing up it was all very sturdy, childproof furniture where any more scratches, knocks or stains wouldn't make any difference... but now I have to make our kids be on best behaviour and it is soooo draining.

I think you're right, colditz, they must forget what it's like.

StuffTheMagicTurkey · 27/12/2004 23:21

The 2 years we visited my fil and step mil for Christmas WITH children were a complete nightmare.

Their house was enormous - indoor swimming pool, billiard room, lake, HUGE fish pond, grand sweeping staircases and double door room entrances etc (no chance of putting up safety gates) etc etc.

Doors were always left open and I spent the whole time in a state of high anxiety trying to keep tabs on ds1 (toddler age) who was as high as a kite whenever he was there, chasing around after their huge dog.

It was full of so many hazards. They never kept the door to the indoor pool locked and the door out to the ornamental fish pond and lake beyond was often unlocked too.

Step mil was always asking why ds1 was so over excited, neurotic and wouldn't sit down and concentrate to eat a meal!!!!!!!!!! She said her children weren't like that, but failed to realise that 25 years previously, when she was bringing them up, she wasn't living in a mansion set in 150 acres!

I hated every minute of being there - it was genuinely frightening and my step mil was a complete ignoramus as far as young children are concerned.

Sadly, my fil died last year, but it does mean we don't have to go to that house anymore (step mil not interested in us now).

hatterselfamerrymerrychristmas · 27/12/2004 23:24

non child-friendly houses can be a nightmare but good friendships withstand them. We recently visited friends who had just had their first baby (they'll learn). DDs spilt strong tea and blackcurrant juice all over their new cream rug. It was awful, I felt horrible, and I want to square a dry-cleaning bill with them, but as far as I know we're still talking

SPARKLER1clausiscomingtotown · 27/12/2004 23:40

dd has a non-child friendly house. Has this "thing" about egyptian ornaments and has a lounge full of the ugly, bloody things. Whenever we've been to visit every second he is saying to my two dds - careful, watch where you are going, don't touch, don't put your drink there!!!!! They too have a fluffy, cream rug which the kids love to roll around in and wrap themselves up in. My step mother is very house proud too which doesn't help - everytime we go round she is ironing - even irons tea towels and socks!!!!!!!

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