How much board do you think I should pay my mum?

[nappyaddict]

I earn about £100 per week but am entitled to another £130 tax credits/ child benefit on top of that. I don't have to buy any food, but mine and ds' toiletries and I don't pay any bills (except for my phone bill and car related stuff) How much do you think is a fair amount to give her?

I don't know personally, see if she is recieving the tax credits and child benefit for your DS then she must have claimed it, I know that DP can't recieve our CTC because the children are mine, and I can't recieve our WTC because he is working, they won't even put them in the same bank account unless it is joint, so I'm a bit confused as to how she actually gets it iyswim.

My sister had a baby at 16 & her child benefit never went to my mum at all...I don't understand how this was set up/is even legal.

I think some young mums who are too young to qualify for benefit themselves have guardian claim it on their behalf - but at 19 nappy should be claiming and being financially responsible for herself,however the 'it ends in a row' rings alarm bells cos im thinking that nappy really needs her mums support to stay in the home and if this is acceptable only if her mum receives all her benefit makes me think her mum is not open to discussion (i dont know the backgrounds its not my business but going off the info we have) then is it worth rocing the boat so to speak if nappy could end up homeless??

having said tht if you intend to leave at some point then you will have to take your benefits with you ...what if you saw a benefit adviser she might suggest you claim in your own name now ? and then you wouldnt b the one initiating the change in your mums eyes???

I've only skimmed the thread (going out in a mo) so apologies if I'm repeating but I've always thought the going rate was a third of income to parents for board, a third for general spending money (personal items/everyday expenses etc) and a third to be saved. Seems fair to everybody.

£100 a week .. she is boarding and lodging 2 of you

I see she's taking £130 a week. So that leaves you £100 a week to buy toiletries and for going out and clothing .. sorry NA but that's a hell of a lot more disposable income than I have

Twig, it's more than I have too, but it still doesn't make it right.

My brothers whilst at home with my dad, both paid £50 a week each which covered all food and most bills, except for Sky tv.

Tbh I think it is alot, and would be happier with a figure of around £80 a week for you and ds, to cover food and bills etc.

I think you should look on Loot (or similar) for your area and see how much a single room costs to rent.

I think if you take that figure, then add say £25 for bills and £25 for food, then that would probably be fair. Or instead you could ask her to break down the costs of food and bills for you.

If she pays for formula, nappies, wipes etc as part of the shopping though, then I think you need to add extra to that.

I don't see why it doesn't make it right to be honest.

We are talking about 2 adults, one of whom has a dependent.

Parents do not have to pay their children's way once they reach the age of majority and personally I think it's unfair to expect to live off a parent as an adult.

In the real world NA would be paying a hell of a lot more than £130 a week to house, heat, light, telephone, water rates, council tax, food, drink, childcare .. she is still being quite hugely subsidised.

Does she buy all yours & ds's food? his nappies? wipes? clothes? i thought you said she also paid for about 3 clubs your ds does?

Does she do your childcare too?

I think it depends on your situation & how much your mum wants to charge, when we lived with my mum for 9 months she would only take £50 of us & there was me,dp,ds & dd but we brought all our owm food & paid towards the phone bill if we used the phone.

But in the real world she would be entitled to housing benefits etc....

She would get her own cb & tc into her own hand & know how much she needed to save/spend per week.

You need to ask your mum (regardless of whether a row might ensue or not) What she does with your £130 a week.

Do you know how much the mortgage is per month?

When she minds ds for you..do you pay her?

You say you buy your & ds toileteries etc.. does that include nappies (though I think you cloth nappy?) and his food? Or does your mam add it all up, cost of rent/bills/food shopping?

This is why you need to ask her what way she splits it up...

I know when I take all my bills, mortgage, electricity, phone, internet, food & childcare for 2 kids.. add them & split them it costs about £260 per week. But there are 4 of us in this house.. 2 adults who use the phone & internet & £60 per week goes on childcare.

nappyaddict - remember though that housing benefit very rarely pays the full rent. they pay what they think is a fair rent, but since rents go up all the time, that will usually be about 90% of what your actually pay.

does your mum do some of the cooking and cleaning for you? if so then I think £130 is perfectly reasonable. actually it's not unreasonable even if she doesn't - she doesn't owe you a roof over your head any more.

£25 for bills and £25 for food is waay too little.

SP - that is per week. I am assuming that her DS is little so £50 for food for her and her mum a week seems about right.

I would imagine bills coming in at around £200 per month for the house. £75 heat and light, £125 other bills including internet, phone etc.

you'd only spend as little as that with careful budgetting though. if NA's mum does the shopping, why should she have to budget hard too? it's a lot of work imo.

I think it would be cheaper for NA to find a place to rent somewhere else & get the £130 pw paid to herself instead of her mum.

Her mother would be paying most of the costs of running the house whether na were there or not, wouldn't she? So anything she contributes above the costs of her share of the variables is a bonus.

I just added up our monthly costs and they're about £620 excluding food - if any of our adult children lived here and paid us £520 we'd be profiting from them and that would feel wrong.

(Of course when we're older we plqn to go and sponge off them so we have to build up some credit first )

WofS - I think NA would have to think very carefully about that. By the time she pays for a room, pays for bills, childcare, food etc there really won't be much left from her £230 a week.

Also she may well end up have to bring her DS up in a bedsit arrangement, rather than him having the run of her mother's house and garden.

When I was a single parent living in a council property I paid no rent or council tax, that was sorted by benefits, I had to pay about £5 a week electric, £5 a week gas, £2 per week tv licence £4 per week water and about £20 a week shopping.
Nowhere near £130.

When I was a single parent and working I paid the same bills, plus £10 per week towards my rent and about £10 per week towards my childcare, the rest was covered by tax credits.

If I had been living with someone else the gas and electric wouldn't have gone up too much, nor would the food bill, in reality things don't double with an extra adult.

but vs, that was a council property, and you were budgetting. na pays her mum a proportion of what she actually spends (presumably), not what she might spend if she were watching every penny.

also I bet that was a while ago. you'd be hard pushed to buy food for an adult and a child for £20 a week now.

It was about 4 years ago.
Nappyaddicts son isn't even 2, it's not like he'll be eating that much. Even doubling that food shop to £40 a week for NA and her DS wouldn't cost £130 per week, and I didn't budget on my gas/electric/water etc, that was just how much it worked out as.