How much board do you think I should pay my mum?

[nappyaddict]

I earn about £100 per week but am entitled to another £130 tax credits/ child benefit on top of that. I don't have to buy any food, but mine and ds' toiletries and I don't pay any bills (except for my phone bill and car related stuff) How much do you think is a fair amount to give her?

i suppose it depends on what relationship you have with your mum .....does she do your laundry? treat you to things? is she always out herself? is she ok for money herself?

i gather from this you are perhaps a younger mum is she supporting you with the cre of your ds?

would she be open to your suggestion that you need some money from your 'keep' to save for your home?

what apart from realising she is getting more money than you thought has made you think this?

i would be v careful not too burn your bridges with your mum -altho clerly i dont know all the story but i do realise s your dsgets older your money wont stretch so well.

i dont neccesarily think you could pay your bills etc and eat for less than £130 in your own home just agree that whilst you live with your mum you are bound by her constraints.

either you face it out with your mum and show her figures you have assesed ie your tally of the foodbill your shre of the electric nd utilities and then suggest a figure you feel is appropriate or you have to put up and shut up........... i do agree £130 is excessive nd i hope that financially id be able to keep my children as long as they wished to stay t home i ccept sometimes its not feasible - maybe your mum has other financial concerns you are unware of?

clearly my keyboard is fooked lol

i think she is ok for money, although i suppose she could be hiding any money troubles from me. she doesn't buy me things but she does spoil ds (something i don't agree with and have told her so but that's another thread!!) i always try to do mine and ds' laundry but most of the time she's gone and put it all in the washing machine before i've had chance. i do other household chores like cleaning, washing up, hanging out the washing, changing beds etc. don't do anything in the garden but we have a gardener for that.

what if you suggested a equal share of chores for a little of 'your' keep back or is that too pocket money like????

its very tricky i can see you dont want to be cutting your nose off but equally its nice to have cash.

forgot to say if i am in i will cook dinner aswell, except for sunday cos my mum likes to do the roast, but i help prepeare the veg etc.

£130 per week x 4 = £520 per month.

This would pay a mortgage!

how does your mum work it out, nappy? have you asked her?

She just keeps the £130 per week in child benefits & tax credits.

no, i mean how does she work it out as fair? what does it divvy up to?

not sure- but I know it's not that much - when we were discussing him moving out he was looking at the 60-90 a week sort of price..with 90 being the absolute maximum.

she doesn't work it out. that's just what she has.

why don't you get the child benefit and tax credits changed to be paid to you?

but how does she justified, nappy, why does she think you cost her £130 a week? you really need to get her to break it down for you, it's only fair.

how does she justify it, i meant to write.

sheraz - that's what i am in the process in doing, but obviously then need to work out how much board i should be paying my mum, cos she currently has that as board iyswim.

so how much does your mum think she's spending on you, nappy? cos if it's £130 then you're screwed.

My DDs house-share; their rent is about £250 a month, and they have bills and food on top, but they're paying nothing like £520 a month.

Is she actually keeping all the money for herself, or might she be putting some away for you for later?

I think £130 per week is an awful lot if it is just to cover food and bills personally.
I'd suggest speaking to her explaining you're having everythign moneywise coming to you instead of her and ask her how much board she wants.
If she says £130 per week you need to ask her what that is paying for.
Do you know how much she spends on gas/electric/shopping/rent or mortgage etc?

I think £130 per week is an awful lot if it is just to cover food and bills personally.
I'd suggest speaking to her explaining you're having everythign moneywise coming to you instead of her and ask her how much board she wants.
If she says £130 per week you need to ask her what that is paying for.
Do you know how much she spends on gas/electric/shopping/rent or mortgage etc?

it is a lot, but if she's paying herself a childminding wage as well? you need it broken down, nappies.

I wonder if because it gets paid directly to her she doesnt really ever see it as your money

ant you have thechild benefit and tax credits paid to you and then when you give it her it will be your money you are handing over

i have tried asking her to tell me exactly what my share is of electric/gas/water/phone/internet etc but it just results in a row. Also because there's me, ds and my mum is it fair to split it in half or should i pay two thirds cos of ds?

I think it is really important that you sort out the tax credits and benefit and get it paid directly to you. You are an adult and should be treated as such. Bizarre advice from the CAB. Did they say why?

With regard to the board and your share of the bills, why don't you sit down with your mother and draw up a budget? Ask her to tell you what the bills are and see if you can reach an agreement whereby you pay an equal share, if this is truly what she wants. I don't think it is fair for you to pay two thirds but if your mother regards the arrangement as two adults sharing a house then half each would be fair. I could not charge my child half the household bills but it does look like your mother wishes to.

I wouldn't say DS was a third of the household budget personally, plus does she own the house?
If you have a lodger for example they don't pay half the rent/mortgage because they don't actually own the house iyswim, so in that respect 1/2 and 1/2 should be fine IMO.

I can understand it may be hard to discuss but if the money is going to be coming to you it won't be something you can just ignore, there will have to be a discussion.

She does own the house, yes.

How do i change the child benefit over to me? Do I need her to sign anything?