Becoming a teacher while having babies/kids

[tlclyf]

I am really interested in doing my teacher training and becoming a primary school teacher.

I've just had my first baby, she's just turned a year old and goes to nursery. I am (hopefully) not done having children but what are the stances when you're a teacher? What happens if you get a call in the middle of the day that you're little one is poorly? You obviously cannot leave your class and go collect them - is it wise to leave the career goal for once I have finished and they're all in school full time? Or is it just wise to have a backup plan?

My family aren't flexible to have her if she is poorly so I can work. I suppose my other half could do it should it be necessary? I just don't want to completely wipe out being able to be there for her because I'm a teacher and can't leave work.

If you're a teacher with young children, how do you do it?

My husband did teacher training (senior school) when we had a 6 year old and a 2 year old. I gave up work for a year to take on 'everything else' (it was mid COVID so nurseries and schools closing off school for the slightest sniffle etc)
My husband worked constantly - travelling 2 hours there two hours back for his placement, lesson planning or essay writing every waking hours. 'Holidays' he had lectures at university or did more course work, I think he stopped for 2 days at Christmas that was it. I did 100% of childcare and housework (not how we normally do things at all!)
When he got a job they wanted him in school through the long holidays writing lesson plans. He got long COVID after about 6 months working there and had to take a non teaching job after 6 months of sick leave because we weren't sure if he'd ever be physically well enough to teach again. (He's ok now but doesn't want to go back).

I wouldn't attempt teacher training with small children.

I'm a secondary teacher and single (ish) parent but i trained years ago and have now carved out some autonomy. It's all doable if thats what you want but the training years are hard work. Sounds like you need a soft start. Why not get a job as a TA or classroom assistant for a year while your baby is young and give yourself a chance to see how the school works from the inside. It'll also be a foot in the door when you're ready to apply and very good experience. And lots of primary teachers seem to job share or work part time. Speak with teachers who are actively working not jaded former teachers. I love my job for the record!

It’s fairly standard in my school too - becoming more so following Covid. Always worked long hours but work day appears to mean full day in the sense you’re expected to be contactable before school / outwith schools hours. Failing being on work device, boss has been known to text. The other week, in front of colleagues, I was asked if things were OK as I’d not been online for 14hrs - I simply replied that I’d been sleeping.

That's horrific and really unacceptable. My school has a policy of no emails on weekends (at any time) and no emails after 6pm or before 8am on weekdays. It is strictly adhered to by staff. Every email is "schedule send".

The idea is that unless you are one of the safeguarding leads, nothing is so urgent it can't wait till 8am. I couldn't imagine how that'd work when I was new to the school, but it really does.

The manager you describe, emailing you in the night, is simply disorganised and incompentent, and/or being managed by disorganised incompetents. They should have been able to tell/ask you whatever it was, by 4pm.

Seriously, consider leaving your toxic school!

Do it, if:

• You have dependable people for childcare in case of your DC is sick
• You are good at managing stress
• You can handle the long hours

Hello :) I’m a primary teacher in my 7th year teaching. I cannot stress enough how badly I wouldn’t recommend becoming a teacher. It is thankless, constant (you can easily clock 70-80 hours a week just doing the things you have to do, let alone the things you’d like to do. You will be teaching, putting your kids to bed, then working every evening and during the weekends just to keep up with the utterly crippling workload, paperwork etc. If you have kids, it’s impossible to not bring work home cos you can’t stay till 8pm each night at work!

The stress level is unreal, from parents, children, ofsted, etc. People say that the job satisfaction makes the stress and not-good-enough pay worth it - I can tell you that is not true and every one of my teacher friends who would tell you the exact same 😅 also… don’t fall for the ‘just work in nursery / reception, it’s all play and you don’t have to mark’. This is absolutely incorrect and you still will clock ridiculous hours! And you don’t get to pick your year group/key stage, so if you have a preference, it may be taken into account but you could end up teaching a totally different year group.

You get zero overtime pay, have to skip your lunch break constantly to cover other things, constantly more added to your plate. I have a 4 year old and it is certainly not a child friendly role. A good example… You’ll be always asking parents to come in for sports days, assemblies, Christmas shows etc… but you either won’t be allowed to go to your own child’s ones, or you’ll be allowed to go to say, one event per academic year.

I am only still a teacher as I currently work part time in a school that is supportive and even now I’m making an exit plan - people will tell you teaching has lots of transferable skills, but it really doesn’t if you’re looking to actually earn more than a minimum wage job afterwards (hence why I haven’t quit).

Sorry I know this probably sounds really miserable and not what you wanted to hear… but those get into teaching adverts are SO far from the truth, I think it’s important to be honest. The holidays may be great, but you’ll have to work during the holidays too just to keep up with the workload. And if you have to spend 39 weeks a year missing out on your kids lives so you can have ‘13 weeks off’ in the holidays, then it’s not really worth it ❤️

Agree. I've been teaching since 2011. 4 young kids as I said previously. In school at around 8.20. Leave at 4. I have a meeting until 4.30 on a Thursday every second week. I rarely take a lunch as I would rather use it to prepare and leave school at 4pm to save on after school care. I rarely work in the evening only at super busy times. With my lunch and non contact time I manage to do all the marking/planning.

I'm not disputing that others may work longer hours but this is my experience.

Good luck 🤞

Don't. You will miss every class assembly, every awards ceremony, every nativity play. You will be expected to put your children last. You can expect a 60 hr work week. You won't get any thank yous, but they will resent you if you don't go on the 3 day residential.

@mamabear7 teaching has so many transferable skills! I took a pay cut from UPS1 + TLR2a outside of London of £10k on paper- which works out to about £250 per month, but my new employers specifically said they were thrilled with my application and interview because of all the skills I have learnt through being a teacher. I also have the opportunity to quickly progress in my new role, and the expectation is that I will do so. I had no direct experience within the area of my new role (project delivery within the civil service), but my teaching background has helped loads.

I think the teaching pay scales trap so many in the role because it really is a good salary once you’ve worked your way up the scale, just not for the hours you actually do… so it’s hard to match outside of teaching.

As a teacher you have so much to offer, and your skills are really valued by the outside world. You will have amazing communication skills, are able to engage/influence/ support stakeholders of all levels, your organisational skills mean you can work to strict deadlines and balance a heavy workload and will be adept at prioritising , working with TAs shows you know how to delegate tasks to ensure they are completed effectively, running trips/ assemblies/ activity days etc all show leadership…. You manage a range of data on a daily basis and use various tools to report and analyse it and you are able to build strong working relationships with senior leaders, external stakeholders and colleagues. It took me a long time to shift my mindset from “all I can do is teach”, but we can do so much more!

Good luck with your exit plan- I hope you manage to find something!

I went back to teaching once mine were in school. If you do it when they’re little, be prepared to miss a lot. That said - go for your career goals. Just choose what is right for you - there is no wrong or right way.

my husband works nights so that we have someone who can deal with day time phone calls. You absolutely cannot as a teacher.

I did teacher training when we had 3 children, got pregnant right at the end of my training with our 4th.i never went into teaching in the end. The hours of work put in at home during training were exhausting, I was sooo tired (I mean I'm always busy and tired anyway but that was excessive!) and I couldn't imagine doing that with a baby and 4 kids in total. Once I went back to work I realised I'd prefer to be able to go to work, come home and not have to think about planning and marking in the evenings.

I can also take days off for school plays, sports events, assemblies etc which I would miss if I was a teacher.

I worked as a teacher full time before I had kids. I was doing Monday to Friday 8am to 4pm plus extra on quite a few Saturdays. And that was me resisting the culture of presenteeism and overwork. Sometimes I would work until 5pm or 6pm if I had training or a meeting. I was lucky enough to have the option to work 3 days after my first child and I was 100% there for that. Now I have two children (4 and 2) and I'm glad I'm 3 days. The workload has just seemed to worsen over the past four years. I work pretty strictly to my actual paid hours. I have a strong union and I prioritise work that will benefit the children, stick to my hours and feel like the balance is okay. I would not want to teach full time with my kids being young. I also have colleagues who do 7.30am to 4.30pm, or stay until 6pm on the regular. Giving the local council lots of unpaid labour. It's very common and quite toxic.

This is the case in any job tbh unless you have a company that’s super flexible.

No it's not. There is 1 teacher to 30 kids. Even in nursing you work within a team. So patients would be split or another member of staff pulled to cover. It's much harder to just get another teacher on the spot.

yeah it is. there are always key dependency considerations in any role.
example there can be one person who only knows how to complete a complex IT release that must go in on a certain day or it can impact the business as a whole - if you’re off who’s going to do it. It’s literally the same senario just not with kids 😂

I trained to teach when my twins were 2yo. The training year was very challenging with a lot of very late nights, but I survived in the end!

I now teach secondary, and whilst it is more stressful and high workload than many other jobs, I absolutely love having 12 weeks off a year with my children!

I think the culture of the school you end up working is the main deal breaker for most.
My first school was a super high functioning Ofsted Outstanding place. The pressure was insane and the turnover for recently qualified teachers was huge.
My second school was mainly staffed by teachers under 26. There was very little understanding of childcare issues.
However, my current school is very supportive of childcare issues (I write this after having to leave a lesson yesterday to pick up a poorly child!). The culture is very family friendly and supportive in trying to reduce teacher workload.
Consider possible escape routes if you don't like it as a career, but I personally find it fulfilling and a good way to avoid needing childcare in the 6 week holidays!

My husband (see username 🙄) is a secondary school teacher. Kids 4 and 2. He's slightly part time (4 days per week, then tutors about 4 hours a week on average) How we make this work:

I work part time (21 hours) and do all pick up and drop off from nursery other than his non-working day (which is my long, client facing day)

He covers sickness on my client facing day, I cover all other days

I can WFH which is very useful for eg boiler repair, parcel delivery, nursery is closed due to staff illness etc

He teaches on supply contracts (eg maternity or illness cover) so escapes most of the long term planning, target setting, parents evening etc (downside of this is you get no pay if you're sick)

He qualified before kids arrived (just! 😬😂) So got the crazy work for NQT out of the way

He also gives zero fucks for emotional manipulation, whingey parents, presenteeism, etc. When he's home he is only on email for any safeguarding issues and he is out of teacher mode (stays in school to do marking)

I think teaching works for our family but it would be a LOT harder if either or both of us were full time, or I WOH, or we were expecting teaching to be the "easy" or "flexible" option. Teaching has the "big man job" time demands but without the pay to match

Honestly, the years from 1 1/2 to 3 were really tricky - they are up when they're up, and need you when they need you. Think you can get planning done at 4am? Wrong. Someone just learnt to climb out of the cot. I'd wait, personally, and check your support from family and partner. I can only teach because my husband picks up the slack.

Schools cover it if it’s an emergency. Although also smart of you to develop a deeper bench (ie other mom friends that can take kids if it’s for something stupid).

really no big deal. Everyone does it.

I quit teaching (13 years in) BECAUSE I couldn’t handle teaching plus being a mom to littles. Teacher training is grueling, being a first-year teacher is grueling, and creating sub plans at the last minute and no fun.

Enjoy your kids while they’re little…teaching will always be there.

Also recently left teaching and would say no, don't do it!!
Close friend did it with a 4 year old and wouldn't listen to me. After all the training she lasted 18months.

The work life balance is shit. It isn't 8 to 3. Its 7.30 to 6pm with all the planning and marking and meetings. Plus weekends. You'll at the very least be working all Sunday pm.

Behaviour is really rough even in nicest schools. In fact, nicest schools extra hard as they attract the first pick SEN children so each lesson has to have about 5 different versions and disruptions can be severe.

Just don't do it op.

@Mumoftwo1312 Hmm, you must have pretty hardy kids - I've been called about 3 times in the last school term (Yr1) alone!

Yes haha I've had lots of quote replies - my youngest is a baby but I guess my older one is pretty hardy! The app says she only had 4 days off nursery due to sickness in all of 2023 (none of those an emergency call-up).

I'm sure it's a combination of luck and the nursery being chilled about the odd sniffle. We do have a really cold house (usually around 12-17C inside, sometimes as cold as 8C) which I think is good for the immune system.

It's definitely not thanks to my dd's diet, she's a total vegetable dodger and basically lives on cheese but that's a woe for another thread lol

I have just left teaching after 12 years. It was hell! 60 hour weeks, zero flexibility, no energy left for my own children. My advice is don’t do it.