Becoming a teacher while having babies/kids

[tlclyf]

I am really interested in doing my teacher training and becoming a primary school teacher.

I've just had my first baby, she's just turned a year old and goes to nursery. I am (hopefully) not done having children but what are the stances when you're a teacher? What happens if you get a call in the middle of the day that you're little one is poorly? You obviously cannot leave your class and go collect them - is it wise to leave the career goal for once I have finished and they're all in school full time? Or is it just wise to have a backup plan?

My family aren't flexible to have her if she is poorly so I can work. I suppose my other half could do it should it be necessary? I just don't want to completely wipe out being able to be there for her because I'm a teacher and can't leave work.

If you're a teacher with young children, how do you do it?

I have lots of friends who are teachers - primary & secondary & honestly they just seem exhausted and stressed most of the time! & the salary certainly doesn't reflect the hours they put into their jobs either. if you work full time you'll end up sacrificing another day at the weekend too so you'll effectively be working 6 days a week. Is that really what you want for your own children OP? You'll barely see them during term time. My friends love the long holidays but then also dread going back to work too plus often are ill with all the germs kids carry to school. I haven't even mentioned the awful parents they often have to deal with too....

I really hate putting people off as it can be a rewarding career, but if your heart is set on it then you need to have the right expectations.

The education system is crumbling in the UK. Teachers and children are suffering.
Poor leadership teams are more common than not.
You’ll have an awful work life balance, however organised you are. Your holidays are rarely your own.
Not enough focus on the children but ridiculous targets and unnecessary paperwork.
You said you have your own children. This will be a major struggle. If you continually have dependancy leave you’ll eventually be on a support plan.
Impeccable behaviour management skills are essential. Good knowledge of SEN is essential.

I have seen some awful things in schools so I eventually left, I still work in schools but I work with children at risk. The pay is lower but far more rewarding and when I clock off, I clock off.

I personally would avoid it at all costs, but if it’s something you’re passionate about please do your research and talk to teachers that work in the area you are planning to work in. Teaching can vary depending on the demographics.

But there is as much chance of being called to pick them up if ill when they are n school full time?

I would say do not do it. It is not a family friendly job. You would be better off working part- time in another field . You will be working like a dog term time focusing on other people's children and missing out on your own.

That depends entirely on the schools admission policy. You can list staff children in it to have priority. That might just be academies though.

Conversely, with mine, it happened regularly.

The school I work in has always been a nightmare for letting you out if you get a nursery phone call. I do understand why but it’s very difficult. Luckily it hasn’t happened to me much, but twice it has and DS has just had to wait for me to get there. We definitely couldn’t just walk out!

I do.
Not every week but definitely some.

Signed, Early Years Teacher, Early Years Lead, Reading Lead, SENCO.

It works, IME, with very supportive grandparents, working locally and having your children at your school (primary)!

DH is self employed, so sick children are covered by grandparents unless it’s D&V, to avoid us losing money as it’s very tight financially - even with me on the upper pay scale. He also leaves at different times each day and only has two seats in his vehicle thanks to equipment, so all drop offs etc are on me.

Typical day involves dropping DD2.5 at grandparents in our village, then DD5 and I heading to school in the next village for 7.30am. She goes into breakfast club while I set up/do admin. She then has a packed tea in my classroom and colours etc until I’ve done marking/admin, then we collect DD2.5 from grandparents and get home for a little play, reading homework, bath and bed. DH does all cooking etc. I then work on the sofa with DH until about 10pm. Weekends are spent doing house/garden jobs (DH is brilliant and I only do laundry and general cleaning; he deals with everything else) while dashing around to swimming lessons, parties, play dates etc.

My in laws are literal heroes, and mean that we don’t/didn’t have to put DDs in long hours of childcare.

Parents evenings etc require a bit more planning because DH needs to ensure he is working locally on those days and has to have my car to collect the children. When we got the Ofsted call he had to apologise to his clients about leaving early to take over from me for a few days!

I wouldn’t change my job (yet) because I love it, and the holidays with the children are just glorious when the weather isn’t shitty.

However, I am nearly 15 years into my teaching career. I can mostly plan with my eyes closed, and am suppported by a wonderful headteacher and have earned enough respect from families that parents don’t give me too much grief. This is not the case everywhere. Please read information from other posters and go in with your eyes fully open.

Qualified 10yrs before starting a family & been in the game double that now. I went went part time after having my first, very part time after no3. I’m still part time now & work far more hours than I’m paid. There’s no leeway at my school - if my own child is ill, like many other jobs, I’m expected at work. Don’t get me wrong, I love my job - I’m in early though I do tend to leave when the bells goes. That said, I’m working most evenings & most Sun aftns. Since Covid I personally feel we’re to be contactable 24/7. And if I hear “But you get all the holidays…” Hmm, yes technically I do but we work hard for those holidays like everyone else does!

I do. Again not every week, but not infrequently.

Signed Year 3 teacher, English, humanities and RE lead, deputy DSL and mentor to at least one student per year.

I can’t imagine being able to teach without solid family help. My DH could work from home and have the kids home with him a lot, my mum was local and would have kids if vomiting, coldy, poxy etc etc which childminders wouldn’t have done. Someone would always be able to have them late evenings for parents evenings and concerts as well.

I wouldn’t say them starting school would get any better-you’re still going to get ill kids who can’t go to school and need looking after. It might be a phone call during the day to go and get them, but more likely to have vomiting or spots or fever all night and then they can’t go in the next day. We can take the day off if they are ill but it’s not paid.

Think what you can do on their inset days (5 a year). Even if they go to your school, you’ll be in and they won’t. Plus any emergency-snow days etc

I’ve just handed my notice in. I qualified in 2019 with a 1 year old and then went on to have more children. The work/life balance is non-existent. Academies are slowly ripping away any of the ‘benefits’ that were once in place.

I think teaching is possibly one of the worst career choices for women wanting to start families.
I've taught for 25 years while raising my family and it's been a nightmare. The hours are unforgiving and it hurts not being there for your own kids on evenings and weekends because you are too busy preparing lessons and learning experiences and resources for other people's children.

I retrained to be a teacher when my dc were 3, 5 and 7. We employed a nanny because it would have been so difficult otherwise.

The first five years were incredibly hard in terms of the amount of work to be done outside of school and the pressure. I'm 10 years in now, part time and my life feels fairly balanced.

I had been teaching 4 years by the time I had my first and went part time when I went back after maternity leave. It was still bloody awful, and if it wasn't for an incredibly flexible childminder I wouldn't have been able to work at all because the hours the nursery ran were incompatible with my timetable and it would have left me out of pocket.

It gets even worse when you have one in school and one in nursery to juggle along with getting yourself to school on time.

Teachers are leaving in droves because they are working long long hours impacting their own families. Schools are notoriously inflexible with sickness, time off, appointments etc. Wait until yours are older. You only get this time once 😊

As an EX primary school teacher don't do it. I left because I literally had no time for my own children. Was working most evenings and weekends. Made to feel like crap by SLT for leaving early to pick my own children up from nursery. I left when I had my second child as I literally could not take it anymore. I now work in a role outside of teaching of which more than half the people I work with are all ex teachers. I absolutely loved working with the children and teaching them (but all the other pressures and pointless shit that is forced upon you outside of the classroom and school day as a teacher makes it hell) but teaching probably one of the least family friendly professions out there.

I've been teaching for 20+ years and it is worse now than it's ever been. I work a 60 hour week as do most of my colleagues. I am in work for 7, leave at 5 plus evenings and weekends. SLT in most places I hear of (20 years of teaching means lots of friends and colleagues in different schools and we all still communicate) are dire. My head is the most passive aggressive person I know. Once something is completed you have to redo it in a different way. It's ludicrous. The teaching side I love but I am thinking of quitting as I can't stand the negativity from SLT, staff and pupils any more.

When DS was born I was lucky as my parents were around - Dad took my son to school every day through primary.

The holidays are fab but you will miss sports days, assemblies, plays etc as many head teachers are not really happy to give you time off (if you are lucky with SLT you might).

I did it. Ds was 14 months old when I did my PGCE. It was fucking awful and I scraped through.

NQT year also horrendous. I worked whenever he slept and had no life outside motherhood and teaching.

It does get easier though! He’s now 12 and I consider myself to have a decent work life balance.

This summer I will also finish paying off the student loan for my PGCE- something to bear mind if you’ll need one.

No no no don’t do it.

I’m 15+ years in, do 4 days, have a 2YO and 7YO and am working so many hours it’s impacting on them. I’m looking for a way out but am trapped with the salary security and sky high nursery fees, but I do feel like I’m wasting their precious early years doing (and if not doing - thinking about/stressing about) work.

I think the fact that your main worry is about leaving work to collect then when ill perhaps shows that you aren’t aware of the other pitfalls - mainly the absolutely immense workload.

Like many others, I do nursery drop off for my youngest at 7.30 and rarely pick her up before 6. She goes to bed at half 6 then I work in the evening until 10/11. It’s absolutely relentless and I’m only surviving because I’m experienced and can do things quicker. If I was an ECT I would break.

KS1 Teacher, SLT, English Lead - has a very supportive head but still absolutely broken by the expectations of the job.

Teaching is a very un-family friendly job I’m afraid. The school hols are fab, but it is not 9-3 during term time. I left teaching in the summer after 7 years because we want to start a family and the endless work and pressure was not going to work. We have no family around us to support with childcare and neither of us could see how we could make it work if I stayed in teaching. The hours are long, the amount of work you have to do at home to just keep afloat is ridiculous and there is always an (unsaid) expectation that your life and home comes second to the needs of your pupils and schools. The education system in this country is in a crisis state, with teachers and TAs leaving by their 1000s every year because it’s unsustainable. Enjoy the time you have with you DCs while they are small and maybe look to going into teaching when they are older/more self sufficient.

I was a teacher with small children. DH and I evenly split any child sickness absence. It’s the only fair way. I’m not a teacher now. It’s not compatible with family life!

Someone I know did it once her child was 3. She was a teen mum as well.

Sorry to hear that. I certainly don’t work 9-3pm as I’m sure some people think, but I always leave work by 5pm (parents’ evenings aside) and don’t take work home. I work my ass off and long hours in the lead up to inspections. But never normally.