Becoming a teacher while having babies/kids

[tlclyf]

I am really interested in doing my teacher training and becoming a primary school teacher.

I've just had my first baby, she's just turned a year old and goes to nursery. I am (hopefully) not done having children but what are the stances when you're a teacher? What happens if you get a call in the middle of the day that you're little one is poorly? You obviously cannot leave your class and go collect them - is it wise to leave the career goal for once I have finished and they're all in school full time? Or is it just wise to have a backup plan?

My family aren't flexible to have her if she is poorly so I can work. I suppose my other half could do it should it be necessary? I just don't want to completely wipe out being able to be there for her because I'm a teacher and can't leave work.

If you're a teacher with young children, how do you do it?

Depends on the area/authority I think. In some schools priority is given to those employed by the school- teachers, TAs and admin staff.

@Midsizegal29
Totally second what you say about the unsaid expectation that you/your family come second.
I had an ectopic pregnant, ended up in hospital very unwell (obviously!), school thought it pertinent to forward me emails from parents complaining I was off.
I quit teaching that year, won't ever go back. I also know of 7 other primary teachers who have quit since having kids.

Don’t do it! I work 3 days and have 3 children under 7. I have my laptop out at least 5 evenings a week and work all day Saturday as that’s when my husband can look after the children so I can try and work. I have no time for anything and if it wasn’t for needed to move into a bigger house this year I would be back on supply, but unfortunately we need the money. When my youngest is in full time school I am hoping to look for HLTA jobs as I do love working with children and means you still get the holidays off with your own children.
also, I have been teaching for 12 years. As a student I worked even more than I do now but had no little ones to worry about then.

While I was on local school placements I was getting up at 5am to get to school between 7.30am and 8am. The earliest I left school was 6pm. I was then working at home until at 11pm. When it wasn't a local school placement, I was catching the minibus at 5am to get to school by 8am. Then I had to live away during the week.
Either way I was exhausted.
When I had my son I had 2 years off.
I then returned to teaching part time.
However after 2 years of part time teaching I gave it up for good. The amount of unpaid work I was expected to do whilst trying to spend time with my family as well just wasn't worth it.

It's not a family friendly job. You'll never be there for first days of school, sports days or school plays. You will be exhausted in term time and all touched out and overstimulated. Get into a school and shadow a teacher for a week or two to get a feel for the job.

If you did end up with your child in your school, which would depend on catchment and spaces and whether you got a job in a school you'd want your child in, I've not managed it in 25 years of teaching. Then you'll still need childcare 8-9 and 3-6 and for inset days.

I was once rung by my son’s school in the middle of a lesson I was teaching - not a mobile call as they called my school office and message delivered by school secretary My son’s school wanted me to pick him up from the medical room immediately -he was 16 and had a cold!
I picked him up at lunchtime.

I’m a secondary school teacher with a 2 year old DS. I would honestly not recommend it. The training year was the most intense year of my life - I was exhausted and didn’t have children then. I couldn’t imagine doing it with children. I’m now an experienced teacher with 9 years under my belt but I still find it really tough. Teaching is not a family friendly profession in my opinion. You’re expected to live for the job, at least in my experience. I’m working on my escape plan.

I left teaching in July 2022 after 6 years plus 3 years training.

I had DD1 after my first year training and went back to it when she was 7 months old. DD2 was born in 2020 so my 5th year was maternity leave. I came back for 1 year after she was born and then left for good.

It is not a family friendly profession! Not anymore. I spent every evening and weekend working and a lot of each holiday. Now that I work a 37hr civil service job with 25 days holiday, I see my children significantly more because I don’t work outside of my hours. I am so much happier! I’m pregnant with DC3 and will be getting much better mat pay too.

@watapalaava I’m so sorry that happened to you. It’s always baffled me how some people who are supposed to be caring seem to forget that we’re all humans and not machines once they get to SLT level. I found out as I pulled into school one morning that my aunt (who I was very close to) had passed away unexpectedly and very suddenly, and school said I should go home and take the day as I was extremely upset. It was then thrown back at me a few months later as a “well we let you go home the day she died and have a day off for the funeral”. Absolute lack of compassion and human decency.

I can’t recommend teaching..so stressful and with small children it’s a nightmare if they’re ill and the workload is insane.. I work from 7am to 10pm most days and then at least one day at the weekend plus I missed so many school events for my children as it’s not flexible at all.. sorry!!

I regularly worked 60 hours.

Signed an ex Y6 teacher, SENCO, DSL, RE & PSHE lead.

To echo others, I have so much love for the job. If only we were allowed to focus on teaching the children…it’s everything else that comes with it. When I first started, I found it relatively easy - even as an NQT with very small children. Then Covid happened and it seems like since we went back to normal the workload has spiralled out of control. I feel like a number rather than a person and SLT are increasingly demanding. When I realised I was burnt out and stressed which was making me a less present parent, I decided enough was enough and put my notice in. If I didn’t have kids I could probably soldier on for a bit but I just can’t compromise their childhoods for a career in which I’ll be swiftly replaced and forgotten about on my exit. It’s taken burnout for me to appreciate what really matters. And it’s such a damn shame because, without blowing my own trumpet, the teenagers I teach really like me and I get excellent results.

Basically, even if you think you’ll be the best teacher ever, don’t go for it until after your kids are grown. They’ll thank you and your sanity will hold up much better than my own has.

You absolutely can leave work for a poorly child if you need to- teachers have the same rights as anyone else. It might be frowned upon and stressful but then I guess that’s how it is in any job?

PGCE year can be hard though! Long hours, potentially long travel and can be stressful. Plus interviews are hard too. I found my first couple of years of teaching really tough too. I guess it depends how emotionally resilient and good at time management you are?

Teaching is really tough at the moment too. I’ve recently gone from 3 days to 4 and I’m finding that a strain with my reception age twins.

also… if you are planning on having more children have you considered that you normally have to be employed for a certain number of weeks before you get pregnant in order to qualify for maternity pay? Maybe work out when you’d like to have another child and do a bit of maths.

Having said that, 13 weeks a year to spend with my own kids is amazing and saves a fortune in childcare! I love working with children and it’s really rewarding.

in a nutshell… I’d probably wait until your own kids are at school…

I really hope the OP comes back to read all the responses & really takes the replies to heart! Hats off to all the teachers on here - you're all doing an amazing job! 👏 🙌

My daughter has been in nursery for 5 months and this has happened 3 times. Each time she’s been fairly ok but had a temp of 38 or higher. She’s also had to have 2 days off as well as an inset day where I had to take unpaid leave. Not rare in my experience with friends either.

I’m a teacher and each time I’ve had to leave. Nothing to be done! Work has to cover me. I’ve had eye rolls from teachers when I have to leave too (I’m the SENCo so spend time going into classes)

My oldest friend was a PS teacher, and enjoyed it, but quit when her eldest was born. It was too much for her. There's too much to do, she says, and lots of responsibility. She's now a nursery nurse.

I’d been a primary teacher for about 7 years before having DS2. I was a middle leader, at the top of the upper pay scale with 2 TLRs. I went part time on my return (0.6) and dropped my leadership responsibilities. It’s still been really hard. I made the commitment not to work at home which means I drop DS at childcare at 7:30, start work at 7:45 and don’t stop until 4:45. I work through every lunch break to make sure I can leave at a reasonable time each day.
Like others have said, I’ve been doing it long enough that it doesn’t take as long to plan and assess but it still takes time. There are admin jobs that can’t be avoided and of course marking galore!
My partner and I share time off with our DS and there has been a lot of it since he started attending childcare. My head is extremely understanding but it doesn’t shake the guilt I feel to the children and my colleagues. Plus neither of us are paid for days off with DS for illness but still have to pay for childcare.
I think starting your teaching career with such a young family will be really hard. You have no option to work part time when training and it really is a slog in the first few years. I used to work most evenings and weekends just getting my head around everything and planning lessons as every time you teach, it’s something new at the start. I’m not saying don’t do it but you need to really think about your support system and how you will balance your home/work responsibilities.

To be blunt- don’t do it. You cannot just leave your class to collect your own child, it is a major hassle to be able to leave school in the middle of the day, even if it’s an emergency. I have to track down 3 different members of staff to ask for permission, and wait for a cover teacher to arrive, before I can leave. That’s if I’m lucky enough to get the call through to me, as we are not allowed to take calls on our mobiles during lessons. I am in secondary, the rules on mobile phones and safeguarding are more stringent in primary schools- my husband has to lock his phone in a locker. The receptionists at my school rarely pass on urgent messages to staff.
And then, we are deducted pay for any time we take off with our own children.
Just don’t do it.

It is very difficult. I was lucky that my employer was understanding but it was still a constant juggling. We often rowed about whose turn it was to take time off. I think it would be harder now as many schools are now academies that are run like huge businesses. You are also expected to provide work if not at work. It would be better to do once your kids ate older and can be left more .

If you do decide to do it and are worried about sickness, find a nursery or childminder with some infection control policies if you can. A nursery with HEPA filters for example, or one that asks staff to wear a mask if they have any symptoms. Equally, once you have your own classroom it's worth buying a HEPA filter for there too if your school will allow it, too reduce the amount of bugs you take home (government should be providing them, maybe they will by the time you are qualified, just a thought though). Also, you could use an antiviral nasal spray. Good luck!

Don't do it. I've been qualified as a primary teacher for 20 years (5 of those HLTA'ing) and education is in an absolute state. I'm leaving my school in July to do a Masters so I can do something different.

If we get a calll one of us has to go get the kids. I’m a teacher, DH works as a healthcare assistant for the NHS. If the kids are ill we juggle it between us. Neither of us have jobs it’s easy to just leave but both our employers understand it happens. As my deputy head at my school says ‘we wouldn’t employ parents if we didn’t expect this to happen sometimes’. You will find most teachers have kids.

I'm currently doing it! I have a challenging teenager and a 2 y/o, I'm currently on my last year of my music degree then will be doing my teaching, which is more work but she is in nursery and my university are incredible with any situation I have, I also picked up part time work in a secondary school while I'm not at university in the week and our holidays off are longer and love that too. I do have a partner who helps as well so I do get a good balance of help and support.