Becoming a teacher while having babies/kids

[tlclyf]

I am really interested in doing my teacher training and becoming a primary school teacher.

I've just had my first baby, she's just turned a year old and goes to nursery. I am (hopefully) not done having children but what are the stances when you're a teacher? What happens if you get a call in the middle of the day that you're little one is poorly? You obviously cannot leave your class and go collect them - is it wise to leave the career goal for once I have finished and they're all in school full time? Or is it just wise to have a backup plan?

My family aren't flexible to have her if she is poorly so I can work. I suppose my other half could do it should it be necessary? I just don't want to completely wipe out being able to be there for her because I'm a teacher and can't leave work.

If you're a teacher with young children, how do you do it?

I retrained as a teacher 2 years ago, my youngest is almost 6. I do have a huge amount of support from my mum though.
My husband is self employed so if he doesnt work, isnt paid. Without my mums help, id be fucked basically if wee one was ill (our older two are adult/teen).

I absolutely love my job and although the work load is alot, im used to that in my previous role. In fact teaching is actually easier to me. I took a pay cut but i get school holidays so i felt it was worth it.

If you are in Scotland i wouldnt recommend it, there are absolutely no jobs. The "guaranteed work" is a year then youre likely left on supply. Ive been lucky i have managed temporary contracts so far but come June, ive no job (again!!!).

Make sure there are actual jobs available before committing to retraining.

No don’t do it!
Why do you want to teach?? I thought I wanted to when my dc was 1. I thought- I love children, I’d love making crafty displays, I’d like to create fun lessons on the Romans, I’d like to read the children my favourite children’s books, all the while earning money and being off for my own children in the holidays.
It was impossible. I worked every night till midnight, and I just wanted a rest in the holidays. I liked the children but tbh.. I just wanted to see my own child. I had another baby and the whole thing was even more impossible. I’d wait till all your dc are 6 plus at least. Or work as a TA for a bit?

I reduced to part time when mine were young.

The dawning point of not being able to carry on fulltime, was when after a rare early finish, I was considering whether it was ok to put my children in the bath and to bed at 5.00pm! ….

I was so tired and had no energy or patience to talk to my own children, after a day spent with everyone else’s.

I'm 43 with a 3 yo of my own. Taught a class of 30 yesterday - a number of whom are EHCP/SEN/SEMH and with no TA.
As soon as my daughter was asleep I nodded off on the sofa and didn't stir until midnight!
Hubby couldn't wake me I was that knackered!!!!

I had kids about 6 years into the job. Honestly? The job has always come first. I know it's not supposed to, but I wouldn't have been able to do it if I hadn't prioritised work. Dh had to field the (rare) phone calls from nursery or school. Kids learned early on not to disturb me if was sitting at the kitchen table. Same holidays aren't guaranteed either, especially if you work across counties or countries.

It really isn't that rare. We've had it happen at least 5 times, but can't say I counted. Don't think it was any more than any of my friend's kids, or her nursery friends

@TheMoth Didn't you ever consider doing something else at the point you recognised teaching was coming before your kids?
It's such an all-consuming role.

Different schools have different admissions policies. Not necessarily linked to whether or not they're oversubscribed. The school I work at is massively over subscribed but if we've worked there for two years, our children can go to the school.

No, because by that point I wouldn't have been able to get the same salary. And that would have impacted on the kids too.
And whenever I go round the 'what would I do instead?' path, I always come back to teaching. I hate it and I love it. And there are times when I worry too much about the kids I teach and feel guilty that I'm spending more headspace on them, rather than my own. But my real kids have always co-existed alongside my big kids. Even though my real kids are now as old as my big kids.

Being a teacher has, in some ways, made me a better parent; being a parent has made me a better teacher.

I qualified as a teacher in my 30s when my DS was about to turn 3. I am a single parent. Teacher training and probation was very demanding and TBH has only been manageable to me by working pt after qualifying.
Re getting calls to collect your own child when sick - this had happened to me a handful of times and I have simply told management need to go its never been an issue for me or any of my colleagues. Reasonable schools should be understanding. Hope that helps!

I did my teaching qualification when I was pregnant and my NQ year when my first baby was 1. I’m sorry but it was just horrendous for us. To the poster who said it’s rare to have to pick your child up - I was picking him up from nursery once a week or more. Then he’d be off for 48 hours with sickness. My OH is a doctor so it was just really stressful for us. Sorry but it’s not a good time to be doing it in my experience.
great career when kids are older of course. Also great career if you’ve broken the back of it pre baby. I was knackered. Doing lesson plans and dreading going to bed as the little one wasn’t sleeping through yet. Unsurprisingly, I quit.

I started secondary teacher training full time when DS1 was 7 and DS2 was 3. I lasted half a term and then moved over to part time training over two years as it was too much with the training paperwork and essays on top. I’ve worked part time ever since (as do many in my department) and, at three days a week, think I have a great balance between home and family life.

What do I do when my kids are ill? The same thing everyone else does - my husband and I take it in turns to take time off, plus calling in favours from family and friends. Teachers are just like everyone else in that respect.

It’s important to find the right school and the right training provider that are willing to be flexible. In the current recruitment crisis this should be getting easier.

I’m a mid-life career changer and after five years still love my job, but see plenty of colleagues that are disillusioned - that’s more down to expectations, previous experiences and your choice of school.

You will probably find nurseries/schools call you a lot less frequently (only when your child is truly unwell) if you’re a teacher as they have to call the main office to get to you. It was a bit of a pain at times (I was a lone parent with my eldest) but honestly it’s not any more of an issue than for other professions. Very few jobs are happy with you just leaving but it’s emergency parental leave so they have to allow it.

I think that teaching is not that compatible with small children - despite people's view due to the long hols.

Term time there's an earlier than usual start time (compared to other jobs). So you would need to get them up early. Parents evenings. After school meetings. Plus all the preparation and marking.

I remember getting up 6.30ish to get them up & out & myself to school, working full day, rushing around doing tea, bath, bed routine, eating tea, doing few chores then getting books out again & working til 10.30/11. I used to be rushing it all so I could get back to work.

It's easier once kids don't need as much help at home.

I agree childminder is better - mine were almost never ill. I think they mix less with other kids.

Just came back to this thread - I see I've been quoted a lot! Fair enough, I think my dd's nursery is quite laid back, they don't send kids home immediately for bumps or cold symptoms. They do sometimes say at pickup time, don't bring her in tomorrow. The only time they ever sent her home was when she had two diarrhoea nappies in one day (apparently, the policy is two diarrhoea or one vomit = send home). Things like coughing or sneezing, they just mention at pickup. A bump on the head, they call me to inform me and then continuously monitor till pickup time.

I'm a secondary teacher and so I guess it's a little different from primary. I'm astonished at pp who say they put the job first (I appreciate this is subjective). I have no qualms about dropping everything and going home if dc need me (as I say this has been rare for us), or leaving work undone. My school is nice and supportive, but I guess many aren't.

If you're in an unsupportive school, please consider looking around for a supportive one, there are nice ones!

I'm just thinking now that we should encourage you rather than put you off.

I think part time in primary would be manageable. It's easier than secondary to just split the class between two teachers.

Also rushing out three mornings a week would be manageable.

To put it bluntly, I’ve been teaching for 13 years and have just left because with a one year old and a three year old I’ve realised how not family friendly the job is. I’ve always worked 55-60 hours a week, with a good 8-10 hours of that at a weekend. I didn’t mind when I was younger and child free (although my husband hated it) but once I had kids the reality that I was working those hours for 32.5 hours pay whilst simultaneously ignoring my own children was just too much. One very senior member of staff in my school was of the opinion that any members of staff who didn’t work until midnight every night was not worth their salt.

I also needed to take my one year old for her vaccinations - at my doctors the last appointment is around 3.30pm for those things. I booked the jabs on a day when I had PPA during last period. I left school 15 mins early and created no cover or jobs for anyone else or inconvenienced any children in any way. I was told it was unacceptable and I should only be booking such appointments at weekends and not to book appointments for my children in school time again. This was the only one and I had never had a medical appointment for myself - even my midwife appointments were all done at 4pm and never impacted my school day. We have no reliable help from family as my mum is quite ill with cancer and my husband’s mum lives almost three hours away. My husband occasionally has training courses over night and you can guarantee that these with a parents evening which leaves me totally stuck as my nursery has closes before parents evening finishes.

I’m sure that there are some family friendly schools out there but they seem to be less and less common by the year as the demands of the job increase.

My eldest had a y1 teacher who trained after being widowed. She had four children. I have nothing but respect for her she was amazing.

I am a teacher, and yes a couple times I have had to leave to get my child from school. The school will arrange someone to take my classes (I am senior school). Basically just go tell the person who arranges staffing I need to leave and then it’s up to them.

my husband works from home half the week, the kids usually know when he is home so DD when she had a headache and needed to be picked up would tell them to call dad as he is home. His office is far away so if he’s in the office then i would get her as I’m closer. I am lucky that my mum is also close by, so if the school can’t get hold of dh and me they could call her. The last time dd had fallen in the playground and needed stitches. My mum probably could have got her but something like that she needs me. So the school arranged for my classes to be covered. I didn’t have to do anything just told them I needed to go take her to the dr for stiches. I did verbally tell my line manager what my classes were doing for the rest of the day.

I was an experienced teacher before having my children. It was hard. Because it is long hours during term time. So you have meetings after the children leave, then collect, feed, bath, read to, settle your child then start work in an evening. Because of that break in work you'll be working weeknights until around ten pm. Sometimes later.

parents evenings are frequent and late. Nurseries dont open that late. Youll need reliable childcare into the evenings. My last parents evening finished half an hour later than planned at 8pm. And then I still had planning to do for the day after.

theres no flexi with days off either to see Anything your child does. You’re completely reliant on the good will of the head. And not all have any. I know someone who was not allowed to arrive an hour later than the school day started to take their child to hospital for an operation.

And the pay for the level of qualifications, on-going cpd and the responsibility is just not good enough. Theres just so little progression in wage from m1 to ups3. It seems a lot but thats it. Theres nothing else. Especially in primary.

what do you do now?

Teacher training made me barmy when I was 23 and had no responsibilities except myself. I can't imagine anything worse than doing it with kids, let alone really little ones. TT is fucking intense. If you want to train to be a teacher either wait until your kids are older or- tbh- do almost anything else.

As other OPs have said (ironically) teaching isn't a family friendly job!
Yes you get the holidays but....
That leaves the inflexible term times - 6week chunks of madness!
I am in second year of ECT and I couldn't imagine doing this if my children were little - there is no flexibility at all at my school.

I am in before 07:30 and leave at 5ish then work at home.

@MumofSpud Totally agree! School drop-offs and pick-ups also not possible!

I did PGDE Primary when my (then) youngest was starting primary school. It was a tough year but I had a fabulous childminder and my parents helped a lot. I’ve been teaching for 6 years now and currently on maternity leave with baby number 5. I’m maybe lucky that my kids haven’t had many days off unwell but when they do, I take a family day. It’s the ideal job for getting to spend school holidays with my own kids. I usually do work in the evenings at home rather than stay too long at school. Teaching is tough and not at all what I thought it would be, but no well-paying job is easy. It works for me and I wouldn’t change it.

There is a lot of negativity - or possibly reality - in this thread, but I can offer a different experience. I work as a teacher and in senior management at an independent primary school. The job is intense when I'm there but I rarely take work home. The latest I finish is 5.30 unless it's parents evenings. The holidays are, by and large, mine. The school is understanding about my needing to take time off if my daughter is sick - luckily it doesn't happen often and I am usually able to split the time with my husband, or my mum helps. My daughter comes to the school, which is completely amazing - for us personally but also for child care practicalities. Most independent schools will offer reduced fees for children of staff. I am incredibly lucky to work where I do, and it's not the norm, but it's possible. The school is just lovely, not 'posh' and very child centered.
BUT. My concern for you is the training which, as others have said, is tough. Followed by an NQT year. So if I were you I would consider looking for TA work (you could get a TA qualification first, or alongside if they let you) and then you can follow a pathway into teaching (if you still want to) that is more 'on the job' than a separate PGCE. Working as a TA will let you know if teaching is definitely for you and give you some space to work stuff out while your children are still little.
There are options without the horror stories of 60 hour working weeks and so on, and I certainly have found teaching a wonderful career to have with a child. But I trained straight out of school, so got that bit out of the way! Good luck.