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Original poster

Dh says I am anal because I don't want him to wear outdoor shoes in the bathroom...

111 replies

merrymarthamoo · 15/12/2004 22:57

he stood on the bath mat in 'em, for God's sake!

He reckons 99.9% of the population would agree with him....

quick poll please?

And I do go in the bathroom in my outdoor shoes very occasionally - usually when I've just come in and am bursting for the loo. But mostly I wear slippers in the house.

I am pre-menstrual, can you tell?

OP posts:
Bradsmum · 17/12/2004 12:03

How much time have you got?? We started building an extension when I was 3 months pregnant - at 9 months I was living in a house with no roof, no water, no heating and using a portaloo/shower etc in muddy building site garden. Gave birth and had to live with mum in London as house still wasn't ready - 8 mths later came home as house was supposed to be "habitable" ... anyway, sent an email off with story of woe not expecting to hear anything - 2 days later got call from researcher, then Bob came to visit.. they did it August 2003. So, I got a habitable room which was fantastic but it's made dg a right pain in the ass (more than he was before) but he has worked so hard on the house. Just feels like a show house not a home where you can invite friends round (we've been boycotted for Xmas this year as he makes everyone feel so uncomfortable in case wine gets spilled, something gets broken, scratched, "destroyed"..)

spacedonkey · 17/12/2004 12:05

blimey bradsmum, he really does sound anal - have you discussed it with him? V worrying if it gets to the point where people don't want to visit

Bradsmum · 17/12/2004 12:11

it's so good to be able to talk to someone about this.. yes, we've discussed it and he just gets angry and accuses me of not caring about the house or him, what he's "built" etc. He gets upset and stressed out if the house isn't always immaculate (I work full time and have 2 year old ds). Weekends start off with a full spring clean. I must admit though I think it will lead to us splitting up eventually as it's impossible to relax in my own home and you can imagine what it's like with a 2 yr old around (who ds adores but is epected to be neat and tidy). I like the house clean but I'm not manic about it and would rather spend time with ds. Any suggestions to save a marriage??

spacedonkey · 17/12/2004 12:16

Somehow he needs to take your concerns seriously, but I'm not sure how you can get that message across to him ... have you tried writing it down in the form of a letter, impressing upon him that this is a serious enough issue to represent a threat to your marriage?

Bradsmum · 17/12/2004 12:33

Hi- yes, have tried that. Funnily enough he's the one that always flings the "well, let's get divorced then" speech at me. If I called his bluff not sure what he'd do. I personally think he's quite insecure as he likes controlling most aspects of our lives (problem as I am v independent)and the only reason I put up with it is because I'm quite laid back and easy going. However, I cannot imagine life like this for the next 30 years but will obviously try and stick it out/resolve it for our ds. I think it's his nature (his mum is the same) and don't see how he can change. Wouldn't mind if he didn't get so moody,grumpy and angry with it - he could just spend his weekends cleaning and polishing the floor if he wanted..

spacedonkey · 17/12/2004 12:34

sorry things are like that for you bradsmum

alison222 · 17/12/2004 17:06

this is too long to read in one go, but shoes off at the door in my house. We inherited beige carpets everywhere and I can't have them cleaned every 5 mins because someone has trailed mud and who knows what else in. Also I don't want anyone treading on small fingers or toys and breaking them.

Joolstide · 17/12/2004 17:07

who'd have though a 'shoes' thread would be this long

bonymerryxmas · 17/12/2004 18:25

Hee, hee, saw the title and thought I must have started this thread in my sleep . I have had a go at dh for standing on the bath mat in outdoor shoes (and we were in a hotel at the time!!) and also for wearing shoes in the bathroom generally - he makes black marks on the lino fgs and they're a right pain to get off!! I am anal of course - also a Virgo who are renowned for their fussiness!!!

MaryChristmas · 17/12/2004 18:27

My hubs been paintballing today and come back with very muddy clothes and footwear and now we have a pattern on the carpet!

paolosgirl · 17/12/2004 18:51

I don't think it's an english thing. I've lived in both places, and always take off shoes at the door. Friends in both places did the same.

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