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Original poster

CAN ANYONE ANSWER THIS REALLY ODD DEPRESSING QUESTION???

84 replies

igglepiggles · 22/02/2008 21:43

if a mother has an 12 week old baby and tries to committ suicide eg Slashing wrists and then threaten to kill her DH/DP (not the baby) but she is either asleep or really sort of blacked out and doesnt even know she is doing it. and she does need hospital treatment eg stitches. but the DP/DH is sane, what will happen to the mother??

i kow this is an odd question but can anyone answer it??

OP posts:
Desiderata · 22/02/2008 22:42

What's your relationship with her dp?

Original poster
igglepiggles · 22/02/2008 22:44

mmm i feel like im bad by interfeing it shud be her DP but i think he s frightend of losing her or her and their son.

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hertsnessex · 22/02/2008 22:47

IP, you MUST help him and her, try to help him see that there MAY be a serious prblem here, he is not doing her any favours by going along with her story. you are not interfering.

Original poster
igglepiggles · 22/02/2008 22:49

im really close to her dp we re best mates infact!! that sounds odd but we ve known each other since we were at school. she honestly doesnt seem to be acting oddly but having those dreams is a bit worrying. and i think he only backed her up because he was so scared of losing her she is his world. i asked do u reckon he should have left for his safty i was thinking. he didnt consider it i dont think.

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Boco · 22/02/2008 22:50

REM Sleep Behaviour Disorder. Honestly, it could be that.

Boco · 22/02/2008 22:53

This is what my dp has.

REM Sleep Behaviour Disorder (RBD) is characterized by vigorous sleep behaviors which may result in repeated injury to oneself or others. These behaviours are often violent and occur during the period of sleep called Rapid Eye Movement or REM sleep. Normally during this phase of sleep, we dream and our muscles are usually without any tone. However, in RBD, there is no loss of this muscle tone and patients usually are able to move their bodies and thereby act on their dreams.

REM sleep behavior disorder (RBD) is characterized by episodes of vigorous speech or shouting, and violent movement or behaviour. It may cause injury to the self or to the bed partner. Dream recall is vivid and the dream content is often violent. Polysomnography is useful in disclosing the violent episodes occurring only during REM sleep. However, this disorder is often misdiagnosed and has not frequently been reported in the United Kingdom

GerrardWinstanley · 22/02/2008 22:53

sorry for the long post but this from the Mind website on puerperal psychosis:

This is a serious psychiatric illness, which is fortunately quite rare, occurring in about one in 1,000 births. It is similar in some ways to bipolar disorder, and may take the form of mania, severe depression with delusions, confusion or stupor, or rapid changes in mood between these extremes.

It usually starts quite suddenly a few weeks after the birth, with the mother being very restless, excited or elated and unable to sleep. She may be confused and disorientated, and may find it difficult to relate to her environment, or may fail to recognise friends or family members. This may make it very difficult for her to bond with her baby. She may have delusions (for example, she may believe that she is the Virgin Mary and is going to save the world) or hallucinations (she may see or hear things that others can't). She may misconstrue things that are happening around her ? for example, she may think her baby is being taken away from her, when staff are simply taking it for a sleep or a feed. She may be manic (cleaning the house at three o'clock in the morning) or have wild mood swings from high to low. Her behaviour may become increasingly bizarre and disturbing to those around her, and she may lose touch with reality. It soon becomes very clear that she needs help, and medical and social support.

does this sound like your friend? The link is here. Her DP needs to seek help for her urgently. They are far more at risk of losing their son if she is not treated. SS could consider him negligent if he knew she was this unstable but covered up for her.

Original poster
igglepiggles · 22/02/2008 22:57

when did your DP realize he had it?? what happend?? did he just go the docs or how did work?? sorry to ask if its too personal to answer i understand. but the more i findout especially frm sum 1 who has / know sum 1 with it is easier than reading up on it, the more i know that maybe i could put it to her in a nice way and she be able to get it sorted a bit easier do you think??

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Desiderata · 22/02/2008 23:00

Iggle, the information that you know about this lady ... has this all come second-hand from her dp or have you witnessed this at first hand?

Original poster
igglepiggles · 22/02/2008 23:01

Gerrard does it happen after giving birth or 1 in 1000 babys? sorry im being dippy!!

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Boco · 22/02/2008 23:01

He started punching and kicking in his sleep, he'd have long and violent dreams that felt really real to him at the time - so he'd believe that a burglar had got in and was trying to kill everyone, and he'd leap up and start attacking - well, usually me! Went to the doctors many times and it they never worked out what it was - then I read an article about it and it sounded the same - so he asked for a referral to the Papworth sleep clinic. He had to be an inpatient, they put electrodes on his head and filmed him asleep. They showed him the video where he was lying down but running on the spot. Gave him medication.

It is being seen more and more as a reaction to antidepressants - still fairly rare, but there's been a book written about it in america where people have leapt out of windows and stabbed members of their family with no recollection.

Original poster
igglepiggles · 22/02/2008 23:10

um... well im really really close them both and coincedence as when the occurence happend i was on my way back from a night out going home and the ambulance was outside they're home with the police, and i thought it was the baby so we stopped the taxi went up the flat stairs (outside steps) the front door was open and it was a blood bath i was being sick there was somuch and then as she went past us with the ambulance men etc she was screaming off her head out of it myname please help me, tell them i didnt mean it etc.

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Original poster
igglepiggles · 22/02/2008 23:12

it was heart braking as she didnt seem to be depressed prior or any thing.

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GerrardWinstanley · 22/02/2008 23:13

it happens to one woman in every thousand who gives birth. You're not being dippy. You obviously feel they need to seek some help. They don't want to. It's very hard to be in your position because if you push too hard, they may both cut you off. But, for the sake of your own conscience, you need to let him know how serious you think this could be.

I think what you need to stress to the DP, is that whatever the cause of her extreme behaviour, it is extremely unlikely to get better until they seek help. It may get worse. You know how bad this could get, if she is acting erratically and violently - whatever the cause. You don't need me to spell it out.

Boco · 22/02/2008 23:14

Sounds awful and whatever the cause she definitely needs to be totally honest and get help as soon as possible because the risks are too great.

Desiderata · 22/02/2008 23:19

Iggle, what you would like to be done here? What's your instinct on this?

You're a very young girl and I'm a very old lady, so what I'm about to say may be profoundly irritating ... but I will ask you again. Are there drugs being taken here?

Do you have any children of your own, and are you still in love with this man?

Original poster
igglepiggles · 22/02/2008 23:22

yeah she s just scared of having her lil boy taken off her cos she s a young mum like myself. she s even more paranoid of her age being a young mum than me and that takes some doing!!! im gna go 2 bed now i ll be back on in the morning.

nite nite all x x x x x

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Original poster
igglepiggles · 22/02/2008 23:26

im not in love with him lol i would like to just have her go to the docs and to get sum help summing aint right with her but i dont know why and i feel like she does tell me everything we're really close but i dont wanna push the boundries and loose her as a friend and her not do anything at all

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GerrardWinstanley · 22/02/2008 23:33

She could have killed herself. Next time she might. Unless she seeks help there is likely to be a next time. Or she might do serious harm to her dp or the baby. A concerned neighbour or member of A&E staff might contact social services. Really the only way she can gain some control in this situation, keep her family safe and minimise the chances of her child being taken into care is to voluntarily seek help now.

No doubt she is afraid but extreme emotional states and psychiatric problems are common post-birth and are treatable. The potential consequences of not seeking help are far far worse.

Desiderata · 22/02/2008 23:42

For the last time, I promise, (and the one thing you haven't answered), do they take drugs?

Original poster
igglepiggles · 23/02/2008 01:20

no neither of them have ever taken drugs. her DP doesnt even drink (he's TT)

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twinsetandpearls · 23/02/2008 01:28

I was admitted to a mother and baby unit with my daugher and they are not like hospitals, or at least this one wasn't, so that may help solve the phobia issue as I do think that she needs in patient treatment, I am not a doctor I want to stress but just someone who has personla experience of mental illness and psychiatric treatment and have witnessed a lot of mental illness associated with childirth and parenting.

I was in hospital with someone who had psychotic episodes similar to the ones you describe, she was sectioned but she was awake. If she seems "normal" for a lot of the time it does not sound like PP but again I am not a medical proffessional so I may be wrong.

GerrardWinstanley · 23/02/2008 01:32

I can totally understand their reluctance to involve any authorities, even a GP, regardless of their ages. I'm 35 and in this situation I would be reluctant to admit what was happening for fear that my baby would be taken from me BUT something this serious is very very unlikey to go away on it's own. Far better they initiate things by asking for some help, than they live in fear of someone else alerting SS.

If the woman in question has puerperal psychosis or severe PND or some other serious psychiatric complaint (and it seems likely she has) then she is probably incapable of asking for help because she is no longer able to see how odd her behaviour is. She needs the people who love her to seek help for her, however much she protests now.

Does she have any other family or friends around who could join you in getting her some help?

twinsetandpearls · 23/02/2008 01:35

I agree 100% with GerrardWinstanley.

Original poster
igglepiggles · 23/02/2008 01:44

mmm not really they all sort of disowned her when she was preg for bringing shame on their family. they do talk to her dont get me wrong but its not wat u call a cose knit family, they're more alonge the lines of "if she cant see she has a problem then thats up to her" as im more of " come round 4 a cuppa n a chat and move the convo in that direction by oh i dunno saying summing like "i feel really down today reckon its hormones?" just to see if she ll open up! if she doesnt i d say summin like "mmm i think its my excuse to eat chocolates lol"

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