Push present ideas for my wife

[newdad1989]

Expectant dad her due first week of January 2023. (also my first post here for forgive me if I'm not using this correctly)

Grateful for push present ideas. I was thinking of jewellery - maybe a ring with the birthstone of the baby, or a necklace with the initial of the baby's name.

Also when do people give these presents? Is it literally right after giving birth or do you wait??

Thanks,

Whatever works for you in terms of timing. I'm sure she will really appreciate the gesture. I wouldn't worry about having it ready to hand over in the delivery room, her mind will be on other things! Normal for it to be a few weeks after the birth I think?

I'm going to sound snippy.

You have absolutely no clue how the birth is going to be yet. Mine was very traumatic and although I'm extremely proud of what I achieved, I wouldn't want some bauble.

See how it goes, see what your wife thinks, and more than anything be as incredible as her during and after. Be her advocate, support her with HCPs, don't complain during labour that you are tired or the chair is uncomfortable, make sure she gets sleep, drink and food after. Be a rock.

Then if it seems cute a few weeks later, get her something. But the rest is infinitely more meaningful.

I think ask her what she’d like. An eternity ring with the baby’s birthstone would be a nice idea to suggest. It’s nice that you’re thinking ahead!

I would avoid birthstone or name/initial jewellery until after the baby is born in case things change. If they're due the first week of Jan they could easily end up a December birthday/birthstone. And you might change your mind on the name.

But I think both are nice ideas if you know your wife likes jewellery, which I assume you do.

I was going to come on and say that be careful - you'll get a real backlash re push presents.

Personally, I like the idea but hate the name! For me, the thought that DH would have wanted to think about what would make me happy (outside of the obvious like doing his fair share of the childcare, night wakings, nappy changes etc) would have been lovely. But it totally varies by couple so I'd advise you to think carefully about what YOUR wife would like.

I used to work in the City. Push presents were quite often lots of BLING. Diamond pendant or bracelet, flashy ring etc. As DH and I share all finances, that would be less appealing to me as we would usually make a decision on jewellery together because of cost. But something sentimental would totally have worked for me - so less expensive jewellery, perhaps with an engraving I'd have liked.

A friend's husband gave her a book of IOUs for use in the first year. Obvious ones like foot rub and breakfast in bed but also a spa night away (without baby), a show etc. Which were as much about him showing her upfront that he was not going to have a problem with her going out and leaving him with the baby.

Whatever you do, avoid clothes - she'll be feeling stressy about post-maternity shape/weight. Also any gadget linked to the home or baby.

Quite honestly, to this day, if DH would just bring me home flowers occasionally, it would be huge!

Aw this is sweet. Honestly I’d wait until baby was safely here (and named!) and mum was settling in to motherhood then give a gift. I’d have loved the initial necklace idea.

She gets a baby. So do you. No better push present in the world.

Exactly this.

A baby?

Ask her!

I'm due #2 in April, DH was going to get me some diamond earrings, but I told him that instead I wanted some new posh sheets for the bed, since I'll be spending a lot of time in it recovering from my c-section. As per @GerbilsForever24 's post - DH works in the city and there's def a culture of buying your wife something blingy when she has a baby.

Btw, hate the name push present, love the concept. But then, gifts are my love language...

I wouldn't, wait until after the Sade arrival of your baby, and pamper her when she gets home, at that point a small gift is nice but I hate the term push present, crass

Do all the housework, cooking and mental load after she's had the baby.

Offer to have the baby for a few hours once she feels comfortable leaving it, so she can have a bit of time to herself.

Ask her if she would like something to commemorate having a baby, but wait until she's recovered. I can guarantee she won't give a shit about bling when she's just pushed a baby out of her vagina or been through major surgery.

Another one who likes idea, hates the name.

For those saying the present is the "baby"... I think you're missing the point. The name is crass and hideous but is making the right point: thanking your partner for putting in the heavy lifting into physically in growing and birthing the baby.

I know lots of women who have been very happy with their eternity rings or diamond earrings or similar as mentioned on this thread. My dad gave my mum a watch with a sentimental engraving on the back.

I suggest you don't call it that dreadful name.

Eternity ring. As much leave as you can take. Taking the baby out on a Saturday morning so your wife can sleep/do something nice for herself.

OP it's a lovely idea. You'll get some stick for calling it a push present but that's people being snippy. My husband got me a necklace with our daughters name on, it's really lovely I'm still waiting for him to upgrade it with both their names on now 😂.

Honestly if my husband had given me a voucher for a spa or massage when I'd just given birth I'd be flipping overjoyed 😄. You sound thoughtful.

I think it's a really nice idea (another one who thinks it's a dodgy name for it though!)
If I'd been married when I had my kids I'd have liked an eternity ring. I like the birthstone/initial jewellery idea too but wait until those are set in stone before buying or ordering. It doesn't matter if you have to wait a couple of weeks or so to give it to her if you're waiting for a definite name or birthstone. Maybe write how you're feeling in a card- that would be so appreciated too.

I got art. And i love it. Hangs on my wall and ill give each piece to the child i was gifted it for when theyre adults.

Hate the whole term and idea. Surely your baby is all the gift you need? It's the idea that a man is thanking the mother of his child for birthing it. It's a weird concept. Myself and dh were both besotted when our son was born and I didn't receive nor want a present for pushing him out. Ugh. Having said all that if an individual wants to gift their partner for giving birth it's entirely uo to them. It's not for me and I think it's an odd idea.

thanks for the snippy replies re the name :)
Like I said - I'm totally new to all this so pardon my ignorance.
Thanks for the advice though, much appreciated.
The motivation for the present is for it to be exactly that - a present. IMHO people saying do the housework, take care of the baby etc are missing the point. Those things aren't a present, but instead part of parenthood and being a decent partner which obviously I'm going to be doing.
Sometimes its nice to receive a fancy material item

Be the best husband and father you can be.

Share everything 50/50 and be supportive of your wife's career.

Good for you.

IME the fanciest presents tend to come from men who do it in lieu of the other stuff!

We never called it a push present. But after first Baby when out shopping saw a lovely antique ring in the market so OH bought me that. After second I had a gold band with tiny diamond sparkling in it. Third baby a bigger car 😂😂

Ask her. I didn't even know it was a thing until someone told me they'd got a ring. I immediately told DH not to bother if he had been thinking about it. I love my engagement and wedding rings but don't wear other jewellery really and felt strongly that the baby would be our joint reward and there was no need for presents. She might feel like that. Or she might love a shiny thing. I would ask her.

This with knobs on