Rude??? Just how rude are some people

[CrazyLady]

Just how rude are some people.

Let me set the scene.

Today was having lunch (a drink & a sandwich) with a fellow mumnetter (whom I shall call Barking Mad)(name changed to protect the innocent) (also who is naughty and wouldn?t let me go halves on lunch, big thanks). By the way I am 36+ weeks pregn.

Anyway, sitting at this round table, we are sitting on the back seat and there are 2 chairs on the other side of the table.

An old woman comes up to us and asks if they are free, to which we reply, by all means have them.

The old woman then proceeds to ask me if she can sit next to me, strange but I say, hey no worries.

Now where we were sitting was at the end of this seat, there was Barking Mad (on the edge of the seat) a space of the size of a handbag between us and then me, next to me was a huge stretch of this seat, big enough for at least 3 people, the old woman had been moving closer and closer to me, every 30 secs, which was annoying, but I let it pass as she was OLD.

Then she turns to me and asks me, can you move up please as I want to get another one on here.

To which I kindly reply, erm NO, there are 2 free chairs there use those, she then says, but we don?t like those chairs, my reply was, but that ain?t my problem, tough, I?m not moving anymore (the fact that I couldn?t also was a factor).

Finally the people on the next table moved and the old couple sat there, not before they shifted all the dirty crockery off their table on to ours, the cheeky sods, and to top it off, the old woman kept piling it all in front of me, to which I then flipped and told her I do not want them in front of me, so move them and piled them across the table away from me.

Just how rude was this woman going to get, she then started muttering under her breath about us. To which I replied, you may be old, but you have to earn respect, and you don?t get everything in life you want just because you?re old and you think you deserve it.

Now I ain?t apologising for this. .

After they had their drink (cup of tea only) they left still mumbling, but we did notice that this woman had wee?d herself, on the seat, I am just grateful she moved before she did this.

I just can?t believe she wanted me to squash up for her and how rude she was. I normally think that?s someone?s nan etc, so be nice, but no way not today, she just pushed it too far.

I think it really does sound like this lady was losing it a bit, probably just a bit loopy.

It does come over as rude sometimes, and I'm sure it upset your lunch, but actually I think you are being a bit immature and insensitive to regard it in the way you have.

(Puts on tin helmet and retreats to a safe distance)

HMC, and all the other that think you can tell the difference between Rude and Ill, it isn't always so easy.

My mother was often rude when she was sane. She and I never had a good relationship as a result. However when she was in the early stages of dementia she became far worse. Howvever, even though I knew her very well I didn't realise that she was becoming demented. I jyust though she was becoming more rude.

Trust me you don't always know. I didn't.

I actually think your lecture on respect was a little ruder. Sometimes you just have to take deep breaths and be tolerant of people even if they are pissing you off.

I agree ff

While pregnant with dd I took ds1 and ds2 (4 and 2)to a cafe one morning. The boys were sitting quietly eating their muffins when a middle aged lady walked very close to the table holding aloft, literally over ds1's head, one of those filter coffees served with the filter set over the cup. The place wasn't busy so why she had to be so near us on her way to her own table I don't know. Ds1's head was bent over the snack on his plate, the woman was behind him out of his line of vision, so I instinctively held his head still while calling out instinctively "Watch his head with that coffee!" She just looked at me really crossly, and I explained I was worried that if he had looked up at that moment her scalding coffee would have been all over his head and face. Her reply? "Well that would have been his look out, wouldn't it " I was speechless and nearly in tears, but after a couple of minutes I did go over to her and tell her she should have been ashamed for being so offensive and aggressive about a completely innocent 4 year old, and not to take her bitterness out on him. She was not ill, just vicious.

I popped in to my local deli for some bread this morning, whilst leaving ds1 in car on double yellows. A table of 4 elderley people decided to pay for their cake and coffee seperately. Annoying but not the end of the world. I stood there patiently and when the final gentleman had paid and barged me out of the way a woman jumped in front of me. She was about the same age so I thought "oh she must have been with them" which my Mum's answer to that later was "so what?" you were next, but it was only when she went to another table after paying that I realised she had just jumped in front of me!! I was speechless, didn't say anything, and as we were leaving I held the door for her, she just walked out and didn't say thank you. Wish I'd let the door go in her face now. some people have no manners.

trust me everyone - this elderly lady and her husband (as cl has said) were just plain rude - they wanted to sit at our table on the same side and that was that - she had already been to the loo so presumably was just leaking as opposed to full on pee'ing herself. I am all for giving people the benefit of the doubt but they (excuse the pun here) wanted their cake, wanted to eat it and then another piece.

Maybe its just one of those "you had to be there" moments.

I am not sure about this. Part of me thinks she was rude, but some of her behavior does suggest an illness.

I have spent a long time working with the elderly, and one of the symptoms (effects?) of dementia is that they are more aggressive and more unthinking. I have had elderly people carry out such eccentric behavior at work, and within that setting I knew it was because they were confused, but had I been outside work I don't know how I would have reacted.

I feel very sorry for her about wetting herself. Incontinence is such a taboo subject maybe she is scared to get help, but maybe she just does not realise she is incontinent.

I don't think your reaction was appropriate. She was rude to you (intentionally or not) but your reaction certainly did not make the situation any better.

I also don't understand how you can be so sure she wasn't demented. I honeslty didn't realise when my mother first developed dementia, it starts in very small ways, they don't just lose it all in a minute. I'm a reasonably perceptive person, with an above average understanding of diseases of the brain and I didn't notice. So I don't see how you could be so sure.

It is rather like older people not recognising Autism.

Not being funny but do you think she had senile dementia and was on a day out or something? Poor you, but it did make me smile. If she was just old then yes, she was bloody rude. I hate it when old people are like that and think they can justify it just because they've been on the planet longer. Don't get me wrong, I like the majority and miss nursing them, just some make your blood boil don't they.

posts crossed hmb

my grandda used to escape the house when he had parkinsons. my mum found him in town once with some woman shouting at him because he had stepped in the road. She was absolutely vile to him, made me sad

the woman most probably couldnt help wetting herself even if she was rude and dint have dementia

Different sort of rudeness here, definitely with no disabilities involved: please see my "party nightmare " thread for background. "Damian's" yummy mummy left me a message on my answering machine today asking could he swap the mini toy car in his party bag for "one of the gliders that I think some of the other boys had in theirs if you have any left", as "Damian" thinks a glider "would be fun". What????

Stilltrue -!!!

speechless

Where precisely does Damien's mummy want the glider to be put?!

Caligula are you dh in disguise? That's more or less what he said when I told him about the message. I'm going to pretend I didn't get the message (cowardly I know) because if I have to speak to the woman I won't be able to stay civil, plus now that dh has got to hear of all this i can't trust him not to eavesdrop on my return call and call out "Where the *is my princess's pressie you tight **", or, ahem, words to that effect

&%$ £(&$&$($&(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ARE YOU SERIOUS???? OMG - I can barely breathe after that one!!

Stilltrue - how will you face her?? What a cheeky bitch!!!

I think there are just rude people out there in any generation. Last week at a shopping centre, only one lift was working and I had DD in her buggy. As I was about to pee myself (32 weeks pg) and there was a queue of other people with buggies, prams, wheelchairs etc infront of me I decided to bump down the one flight of stairs to the loos. Did anyone offer to give me a hand, heavily pregnant woman negotiating busy stairs with buggy?? Did they heck. Not until I got about 6 stairs from the bottom when I was spotted by a nice security guard who rushed up to take the buggy and exclaim loudly that he couldn't believe no one had offered to help!!

Pagan you have my sympathy sweetie, its the same in the loo's thought too, sometimes DS wants a wee, and as we all have kids, whatever age, know that kids cant hold it for long, I aint one for pushing in, but they do it in the loo dont they, if I am on my own (even thought I am 36+ Preg) if I see a mother with a young kid, (younger than 6-7) I always tell them to go in front, sometimes they say no you need it, to which I reply, nah you go, it's doing my pelvic muscle the world of good

I'm not saying the old lady was ill, or am I saying she wasnt.

Easy - we weren't being immature (except maybe a chuckle at the wet patch), but as Barking said, the waitress almost pee'd herself when we mentioned it, we were being considerate as we didnt want anyone sitting on it. Also the other older couple who sat down after them, were laffing, the nice lady even said joking, ooo I couldnt help it

Oh yeh the restaurant was in Beatties (nice upperclassed place) not your macdonalds or little chef

Also the ladies on the other table commented on how rude she was, and they were old too, so it wasnt just us.

it used to really bug me how elderley people would elbow kids out of the way at bus stops - even though the kids were there first! I did step in a couple of times and say 'excuse me - there is a queue, these schoolboys were before you' - they looked at me like I'd betrayed them. Old farts!

Joolstoo - we were separated at birth

Gobbledigook, yes I'm serious !! Lockets- good idea, my head is spinning with all this, and I can't think straight, but that's a perfect response, if I decide to phone her. I don't actually see her that often, thankfully, as Damian's granny picks him up every day from school. I think both parents work, so I won't be facing the yummy mummy for the time being, by which time I hope I will have calmed down.