Rude??? Just how rude are some people

[CrazyLady]

Just how rude are some people.

Let me set the scene.

Today was having lunch (a drink & a sandwich) with a fellow mumnetter (whom I shall call Barking Mad)(name changed to protect the innocent) (also who is naughty and wouldn?t let me go halves on lunch, big thanks). By the way I am 36+ weeks pregn.

Anyway, sitting at this round table, we are sitting on the back seat and there are 2 chairs on the other side of the table.

An old woman comes up to us and asks if they are free, to which we reply, by all means have them.

The old woman then proceeds to ask me if she can sit next to me, strange but I say, hey no worries.

Now where we were sitting was at the end of this seat, there was Barking Mad (on the edge of the seat) a space of the size of a handbag between us and then me, next to me was a huge stretch of this seat, big enough for at least 3 people, the old woman had been moving closer and closer to me, every 30 secs, which was annoying, but I let it pass as she was OLD.

Then she turns to me and asks me, can you move up please as I want to get another one on here.

To which I kindly reply, erm NO, there are 2 free chairs there use those, she then says, but we don?t like those chairs, my reply was, but that ain?t my problem, tough, I?m not moving anymore (the fact that I couldn?t also was a factor).

Finally the people on the next table moved and the old couple sat there, not before they shifted all the dirty crockery off their table on to ours, the cheeky sods, and to top it off, the old woman kept piling it all in front of me, to which I then flipped and told her I do not want them in front of me, so move them and piled them across the table away from me.

Just how rude was this woman going to get, she then started muttering under her breath about us. To which I replied, you may be old, but you have to earn respect, and you don?t get everything in life you want just because you?re old and you think you deserve it.

Now I ain?t apologising for this. .

After they had their drink (cup of tea only) they left still mumbling, but we did notice that this woman had wee?d herself, on the seat, I am just grateful she moved before she did this.

I just can?t believe she wanted me to squash up for her and how rude she was. I normally think that?s someone?s nan etc, so be nice, but no way not today, she just pushed it too far.

Sorry, you did make me giggle.
Have to say i find SOME (NOT all don't get me everyone!!) old people unbearable!!
I have shouted at at least 3 during this pregnancy........

Oh dear, where was this, it sounds like my mum!

Me too Angeliz when pg with ds3 in summer - who do they think they are eh?!

I had one say to ds1 in the supermarket 'are you being naughty?' because he was crying about something (can't remember what but it wasn't cos he was naughty) - I turned round and said 'no he isn't now mind your own business'!! Grrrr!!

Old people often think they have the automatic right to be downright rude!

LOL Sandyballs!!

Thats quite excessive!!!

Do you think she may have had alzheimers? hence the wetting as well.

If not, then yes how rude!!!

She's obviously starting to lose her marbles poor old soul. I probably would have started laughing making matters worse with the plate piling goings on. Myself and a friend met an old lady on holiday years ago and like you my friend is normally kind to old people as she has an eldery gran. The lady we met was lethal verbally and physically and asked us to push her in a wheelchair around venice, on and off bridges etc. We did a disappearing act on the morning we were due to go. Thing was she could walk but decided it would be less tiring if she hired a wheelchair -

I agree that SOME (not all!) old people can be very rude and odd. I was in a supermarket with my twin tots a couple of years ago, turned my back on the trolley for a few seconds whilst choosing something and an old lady had suddenly appeared and was licking my daughter's lollies!

LOL Crazy Lady . Cant believe you kept your cool as long as you did!

Perhaps she had many imaginary friends she needed the space for? oo I don't want to get old and piss myself in public

pmsl Sandyballs, what did you say to that!

What I'm more concerned about, CrazyLady, is that my MIL is known in our family as......CrazyLady!! Are you her?? And if you are, why aren't you out on your broomstick, getting your pension??

Seriously, it does sound as though that old lady was starting to lose it and I think you did pretty well in the circs. It must be awful to get to a stage when you pee yourself - mind you, there was a young man in a queue today who was minging of p*ss, it took my breath away.

Crazylady, I know this lady was more than a bit strange, but my dad has recently been diagnosed with early Alzheimers Disease (which obviously you can't tell by looking at him) and although he's not reached that stage, he may do one day and behave in a similar manner, and I'd hate for him to be spoken to like that. We will all be old - and possibly unloved, misunderstood - one day. Your post has really, really upset me.

I think she may well have been ill - maybe early stages of alzheimers. Her behaviour sounds actually beyond normal, as does the weeing herself. Not trying to make you feel guilty! I thought the same recently - batty old woman in cafe talking very loudly, repeating herself, commenting on ds....very annoyed at time, but think she was actually ill when I look back.

I see your point havesomecompassion, but perhaps she was just a rude old bag like many of them are!! Should we just take their flack every time 'just in case'?

I knew this would happen on this thread.

Both the old people mentioned don't sound rude, they sound ill.

Conditions like Alzheimers affect people's behaviour and I think you can't apply the term rudeness to someone who is not in full control of their faculties. It's like calling a two year old rude when they spit out food they don't like - they're just not old enough to have table manners.

Sorry to sound self-righteous, but I find it very sad that there is such a low level of knowledge and tolerance about illnesses of old age that we live in a society which finds it acceptable to actually laugh at the symptoms of an illness which any one of us might have if we live long enough. Oliver Cromwell stopped people visiting lunatic asylums to laugh at mentally ill people. I don't see why, in the 21st century, our standards are lower than his - why is it acceptable to laugh at sick old people in this way?

Well the one who wanted me to push her round Italy was not ill she was taking liberties

havesomecompassion - I think you are being more than a little unfair to crazylady. Understandably you are feeling upset because alzheimers is a really awful condition and I empathize with you. However, there are some people (old or not) who are damn right rude! It is not good to be a doormat and you can damage your own health if you are. I dont think Crazylady was unduly rude, she was actually rather kind (moving up in the first instance). Sorry to hear that the post upset you, but I think you are feeling a touch too sensitive at the moment iyswim.

Are a couple of dirty plates on a cafe table going to hurt you? No. I am finding it very hard to come to terms with my father's illness, his personality has been affected (he has tempers like never before) and his memory is so obviously failing him, in spite of the drugs he is taking. Many elderly people have a tough time, very little money to survive on and to cap it all physical and mental health problems - often with very little sympathy from the people merrily going about their lives around them. I'm not saying I would have behaved any differently, especially when pregnant because I felt like I deserved special treatment, but what's happening to my family has made me think long and hard about what's behind the behaviour of others and how I react towards them.

It all sounds pretty AWFUL!

But it has reminded me to do my pelvic floor exercises...

Can I assure you, that

1. she didnt have Alzheimers,

2. she had all her marbles,

3. I am not normally rude, but when pushed, if the MN comes on later she will tell you how bad this woman was

4. She wanted the seat for her husband, (not imaginary friends just didnt want to sit on the hard seat, but why the f**k should I either.

To sort of quote Coronation street last night, she old her bum should be used to it by now

5. suedonim no I am not your MIL - I have changed my name to to protect me

6. I have to laugh about it now, and I must say un-ashameably that I nearly PMSL when I saw the wet patch on the seat, as she'd just been to the toilet anyway (oops that makes me sound wicked)

7. I queue etc like everyone else, but I had to draw the line once, when this woman waltz to the front of a queue, I shouted "oi theres a queue here" to which she replied, but I'm old, I answered, yeh well I'm a bitch, now queue up like the rest of us, the rest of the queue clapped and cheered, sorry, but I cant be doing with that, I'd waited 30 mins and she just waltzed up, er no, she choose the wrong person / queue.

8. No I cant believe I kept my cool, I suppose as I didnt know Barking that well I didnt want to embarrass her too much straight away.

sorry to hear that you are going through such a tought time havesomecompassion

Havesomecompassion - If this is the case then she shouldn't be out without someone suitable to look after her then should she!

My Grandad also has been diagnosed with early alzheimers and we all take a tremendous amount of time to look after him when he goes through bad patches. He doesn't go out without someone as it is not suitable - imagine if there was a child there when the lady wet herself, it probably would've frightened them.

CrazyLady - I so agree with you - alot of old people think that just because they are old then younger shouldn't speak up when they are outright rude!
I had some old lady in a shop say to me when DD was about 4 weeks old (Middle of August) "She really should have some sox on you know"
No actually, i don't know so would you like to expalin how you know my daughter so well and what is best for her well being when you ahve never even set eyes on her before Old Bint!

She sounds a bit mad...I mean the old woman !
Talking of being pregnant and meeting rude people, when I was heavily pregant with my first baby (now 5 months old), I was on a bus coming back home from my 36 week check up, I was totally exhausted not having had much sleep the night before (I had had a terrible time from lack of sleep the entire last trimester of my pregnancy) and as I had taken two buses to get to the birth centre, etc.. You get the picture I was exhausted, heavily pregnant and looked it !!

Any way, the bus was packed full. I waited several minutes in the middle of the bus, near the seats that say "please give up your seat". No one bothered to get up for me as usual (this also happened often on the tube on my way to work... . Any way, I did what I had never done before, which was to ask, VERY POLITELY, whether a young man of 18 or 19 would mind giving me his seat. I couldn't believe I had asked this of someone, but as I say, no one had bothered to get up for me and I was so exhausted I couldn't stand up any longer. Any way the said young man then turned round and VERY RUDELY said "no, why should I ? It says here give up your seat for those in wheelchairs, you ain't got a wheel chair...[sorry, I am adding the bad English, because he sounded like he was badly educated on top of being bloody rude !!]. To which I replied, "yes, but as you can see I am 8 months pregnant"... to which he said "yes, but that ain't my fault" !! Can you believe the cheek of it ? Apart from being incredibly rude, he was actually insinuating that I was unhappy to be pregnant...which I most certainly was not...despite the lack of sleep, etc...I was having a wonderful time being pregnant and looking forward to my baby.
Of course the entire bus heard this conversation, and the two Asian women sitting next to him finally got up for me either out of embassement, or because they sympathised with me.
I must say, now that I am pushing my baby along in a pram and getting on and off buses, not wanting to sound like a raving feminist, I still find that the women are the ones that help me get the pram on and off buses not the men. I had the exact same experience with seats on the tube. It was ALWAYS the women who offered me their seats when I was pregnant (usually middle-aged women) not the men !

havesomecompassion - I feel for you, but the table she moved to was soo big that she just needed to push them across the table from her, not moved them off completely.

And yes it was annoying as I had my dirty plate in front of me, and my drink, and she was pushing mine off the blooming table.

Also I have had some experience of Alzheimers, with family members, and this woman was just down right rude.

i p*ssed myself the other day. in fact i do it most days. very embareesing but 3rd pregnancy so what do i expect, especially since i have prolaspe as well (i aint changing my name as its been discussed b4 anyway). i hope no-one laughs at me.

The old lady does sound rude, and to pile plates etc is just petty imo, but she may have been ill, she may have just been an miserable old woman.