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Am I contributing to MILs depression?

1 reply

SassyPants87 · 18/01/2022 22:07

My MIL is going through a low period at the moment and she seems to go through these and results in low energy, wanting to stay in bed all day and no appetite. She’s been to the doctors and they’ve prescribed her anti depressants and they think it’s linked to low mood.

I’ve had a perfectly fine relationship with my mother in law, no nasty situations etc. She’s done stuff that has been annoying but I had previously never called her out on it.
However since having a baby she’s honestly been driving me mad, always telling me I’m doing things wrong, never listening to what I tell her when it comes to the baby, and worst of all, always showing up to my house unannounced (this can even be up to 4 times a week). Ever since having my child I have zero patience so every time my MIL has done something I’ve told her and I have to be quite firm otherwise she doesn’t process it. My husband always backs me and will try to relay the same message back.

However these low moods seem to occur when I have said something. I’m feeling really bad about it but also I feel like I can’t not say anything when something occurs as it will have a damaging effect on our relationship and drive a wedge between us. She’s generally so lovely and wouldn’t hurt a fly but I really don’t know how to approach the situation going forwards

Any suggestions would be most welcome!

OP posts:
KatieKat88 · 18/01/2022 22:16

I don't think anyone should be held responsible for another person's mental health. You have to do what's best for your baby, particularly if telling her in a more gentle way doesn't get taken in. That said, could you or DH find something that could be her 'thing' with the baby so that she's involved in a way that you're happy with? Could be as simple as a particular book that you could make a big deal about being Nana's story etc? Might be a rubbish idea but that's all I've got, if anyone showed up unannounced that frequently to my house I'd lose my patience too!!

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