"Crap your HV told you"

[colditzmum]

I don't like health visiters in general. Could all the other MNers back me up on this one?

Mine's terribly sweet but does slightly give the impression of not being all there!

Also she has been banging on about early weaning since ds was 2 months old - 'because he's such a big baby' - whilst in the next breath telling me how beautifully he's gaining weight. Finally fell for it & started ds on baby rice - now read more about early weaning & regretting it rather.

I'm racking my brains & I honestly can't think of a single piece of useful information she's given me.

Jennisaurus, that's awful. Such an insensitive thing to say, especially from a health 'professional'. My angelic HV said that every mother does what's best for her baby and that is different for every baby. I felt so guilty about not being able to breastfeed but she was fantastic. I can't imagine what the dragons here would've said.

God, that sounded as if I was calling MNers dragons! Was referring to current HVs.

Message withdrawn

When i first met my hv he congratulated me on successfully breastfeeding and lectured me about how wonderful it was and how beneficial it was etc etc.

12 mths on, i went to get dd weighed, and mentioned i was considering giving up bf did he have any suggestions and he informed me i absolutely must give up, right now otherwise i'll have a five year old still feeding.(no tips then)

Sadly i don't see him anymore, otherwise i'd love to let him know that nearly 2 yr old dd is still b/feeding! (cos i never found any good tips on how to stop!)

When my HV arrived for her first visit after ds1 was born and asked how I was (maybe the fact that I was still in my pj's, unwashed, with mad greasy hair and sobbing uncontrollably should have been a clue?) and I said "I have PND" she replied "oh that's a new one for me - I can see I'll have some homework to do before I visit you again!"

She wasn't a newly qualified HV either....

Same visit she measured ds1's head and sent me haring off to my GP in a blind panic because his head circumference had increased and she thought he might have hydrocephalus (I have mild spina bifida so you can imagine my sheer terror at being told this). My GP said she was insane and you couldn't establish a thing on two head measurements with a tape measure!

I lerve HVs !

You all know you can refuse to see a HV .. politely of coure .. just tell them you're fine and don't want to see them and will call if you have a problem

Yes, I take Twiglett's tack. Although in my case the 'visitor' element is a bit of a misnomer (I got one visit, when dd2 was 4 days old or suchlike) so all I do is refuse to respond to their letters.

When I approached my new HV about ds gross motor skills, she offered me speech therapy for him. He SO doesn't need bloody speech therapy. When I told him her name was Dominique he said, "Dominique? That's a French name, isn't it?" But he can't jump, run properly, climb etc etc....and yes, has a delay in his gross motor skills!
Old HV nicer and more sensible, but still capable of spouting rubbish, esp re breastfeeding and weaning.

Hausfrau - my SIL was told by her HV to wean her 5 weeks prem ds at 9 weeks for the same reason. That's weaning a 4 week old???!! SIL did it, more fool her...

I've obviously been very lucky as my HV has been brilliant (although there is a totally useless one at the practice as well, presumably put there for no other reason than to even things out!) The nicest thing the HV has done is make me feel good about my own parenting skills. I clearly remember DS's 8 month check: I'd not long been back at work and my nanny - who was with me - had only been with us a couple of months. The HV said to me "He is the loveliest baby I've seen in a long time. If every baby I saw was like him I would have the easiest job ib the world. You can both feel very proud of yourself" My nanny and I just beamed and beamed. It was only really recently that I realised she probably said it to everyone! The HV is very nice to my nanny, who occasionally takes the children to her for minor things. She came to the house after DD was born several times and was very helpful, particlarly re breast feeding. DH took DD for her 8 month check and she was really nice to him as well (even glossed over the questions in the red book about whether his periods have restarted aftr the birth). I think it made him feel really included and he is now very keen to go and do DS's 3.5 yr check. Oh, and when you phone up she remembers your name and your baby.

(BTW, the doctors at the practice are really average and one of them told me off for wanting to disposed of a dirty nappy - wrapped etc - in his bin: wanted me to take it home with me. Cheers!)

Anchovy, you got an 8 month check?
Our HV forgot to do ds'. He never got one. I did complain to the Primary Trust and got a lovely letter back from the Chief Executive no less! Anyway, I knew that he was fine so I didn't push for it.

bean has the right idea about HV's. Everytime they take his nappy off he pees on them.

not health visitor, but chemist siad, when i took six month old in for hellp with cough cold (was away from home) that because i had stopped breat feeding it was my fault my child was ill, that i should expect her to get ill all the time now, and he was fed up with delaing with neglectful parents.,... i told him to f* off really loudly and went elsewhere. still pisses me off

My HV said "you're making a rod for your own back rocking that baby in your arms". I smiled at her serenely and said "I will rock my baby in my arms whenever I want to, for as long as she needs me to". And I did, no adverse reaction yet and she is nearly six!!

"Colds don't bother babies"??

Since when? Tell that to either of my two. Of course they don't mind that they can't breathe everytime they want to feed and that they have to lie flat on their back to sleep ensuring that they swallow loads of snot and then spend most of the day puking mucusy sick everywhere. It must be just coincidence that when DD has a cold she gets grumpy, keeps coming off the breast, produces mucus-filled sick and won't settle to sleep.

Well she was nice, but she never told me anything useful, she just agreed with anything I said, never a disagreement, everything I said was OK. From that I deduct I'm a natural or she was just afraid of contradicting me. (funny thing, I guess she expected me to burst crying as I had pnd, I wish she could have had a bit more courage and suggest different things that could have work better)

Aren't there any HV's on Mumsnet? I was expecting a barrage of angry HV's telling us not to judge a whole profession on a few bad apples! Are you out there too afraid to admit you are one? Come out, come out, and give us the other side of the story!

we've never had anyone admit to it yet

Mine is super jolly so as long as everything's OK she's fine. If you have a potentially serious problems, she can't handle it at all.
The best thing she told me was that if we alwyas sat at the table and ate all our meals together as a family, DS1 will eat whatever the rest of us are eating... I've yet to prove this theory to her but she was quite convinced by it. Needless to say, she has no children

and obviously she doesn't teach me anything about grammar...

I had a good HV although she was a bit overworked. She was very helpful and supportive about breastfeeding as she herself had bf'd for 1 year, and had good advice about when to go to the doctor (and when not to bother).

The doctor, by contrast, said that the reason my dd at 4 months had green poo and a runny nose was because she needed solids, 'as they can start solids from 3 months'(??). He said the runny nose probably meant an allergy. To help her sleep I was to prop the mattress up under her FEET (no, not the head, I double-checked). I ignored all of his advice and was sure she had a cold, and didn't like the idea of her sleeping like a bat. And it all cleared up in 2 weeks.

I have experience of loads and they all seem to say when told your baby is crying either a) it is a growth spurt and s/he needs more milk or b) it is teething. Basically a) was said about a baby under 6 months and b) about a baby over 6 months. Maybe they are right, but it never seemed to answer my problems.

DS's hv told me that I shouldn't worry about armbands/baby floats for my 1 yr old on holiday, I should just teach him to swim - he wasn't even walking then! I must admit to feeling like the worst mum in the world after a visit