Following mumsnet survey-"modern parents have no stamina" but did 1960s parents have a much easier less hands-on time?

[Evenhope]

Comment posted in Telegraph about the results of mumsnet survey
"When I was young there were no washing machines, tumbler driers, dish washers, refrigerators, freezers, central heating or convenience foods. Very few could afford motor cars or holidays. Our mothers just got on and looked after the house, cooked the food, hand washed the clothes and brought us up. I can?t remember my mother moaning about how hard she worked. The modern parents have no stamina.
Posted by WHG on November 18, 2007 10:44 AM"

How many of us born in the 1960s and 1970s actually feel our mothers had an easier job? They weren't expected to be involved in our school life (we were allocated a place- no choice); they didn't ferry us around everywhere and we played out on our own.

Exactly, evenhope - children were told to go out and play and not come back until tea-time!

Thing is that now mums still do most of the child care and house work AND hold down a job.

Also my mum didn't work (though she would have liked to, but couldn't). But when Dad wasn't on exercise he was home by 5:00/5:30 and didn't leave till 8:30.
So we spent a lot of time together as a family - a lot more than dh & I can.

Mum did a lot (though they did save up very early for a washing machine). Cooked from scratch, made our clothes etc etc. My sister & I played out all the time it was a wonderful childhood.

But now we need two wages to cover the mortgage. We also both work further away from home which makes a longer day. I find that there are simply not enough hours in the day. I do my best but find it difficult

My mum thinks that she had it easier

They did an awful lot of housework that generation. And there was such a limit on women's ambition.

These days women may be doing less in the way of manual labour than the 1960's but they are doing so much more in all other ways. Also there is so much more pressure to be supermum; make meals from scratch, entertain the children all day long and succeed in chosen career path be involved in school, whilst taking on many of the tasks that men would have been in charge of; managing finances getting the car fixed etc.

Don't remember parents really playing with children much during my childhood - seemed to spend most of the time roaming the countryside unsupervised! Plus as a recent thread showed, most children made their own way to school. Think there were less after-school activities to ferry children to as well.

So, yes, housework was more time-consuming but parents were less hands-on with their children...

My mum definitely agrees that in many respects she had it easier. It was possible for them (one modest wage earner) to get onto the property ladder, there just wasn't the rampant materialism in those days (we all came out to admire the first private car in our street, a Ford Anglia in primose yellow, in 1967), and as others say, she could turn us loose from a young age on low-traffic suburban streets.
She also points out that walking a lot and doing a lot of quite heavy housework filled what might have been quite lonely days and kept her fit - a fair point. She was using a mangle and a boiler to do most of the household linen until 1970.
BUT she envies us the toddler groups, books, magazines and of course Mn, of today - she feels that even though we have more to be worried about, we are much better informed as mothers. She also feels racked with guilt that she never played with us - no time.
So I agree with you evenhope. My mother had an easier time, but she says it was not always a happier time, and I take her point.

But if there is pressure to make food from scratch, many many families are ignoring the pressure totally. Hence the high sales of ready meals.

Personally, I look back at my parents' generation and thank God I was born when I was.

The Telegraph description of the mother's life sounds ghastly.

Their work was physically more demanding and time consuming because of the lack of modern aids. For example my mother did all our washing in a big tin bath on top of the cooker.

That said, she did a lot less washing, as we were expected to wear things for longer.

She cooked from scratch, but it was simple, plain stuff, that didn't take much faffing. Standards were lower in what was expected.

we were expected to bugger off and play outside, which we did.

She did work, but it was a crap boring job, but them the same was true for my father

I prefer my life to hers. I have more choices. Amount of work we both do....similar

I'm not sure that there's more 'hands on' with children these days Children don't play out so much admittedly but many are entertaining themselves with computer games, pc, tv, etc.

I was born in '63 and I think parenting then was more 'physically' hard work. Mum had to walk us to school everyday and home again, handwash everything (having boiled up all the water first because we didn't have hot running water), iron pretty much everything - no tumble dryer or easy care clothing, get the coal in, shop everyday (no fridge, car or supermarket) , cook from scratch, make or knit alot of our clothes and she worked evenings too. We were 'entertained' by my dad or nan in the evenings - no television - read to, played board games etc. Sounds pretty tough to me.

Interesting question!

Is some ways I think it was harder for my mum than it is now. As others have mentioned we had very few mod cons, no takeaways let alone ready-meals, no car or holidays every year etc. And yet it feels to me as though my parents spent quite a lot of time with us - playing scrabble, going to the library, the park, having friends around etc. Cheap, home/family based activities. I think there were weren't so many 'distractions' then and society was less aspirational. As MB said, standards were lower to some extent.

I know my mum thinks I am quite lazy (or have it easy!) compared to her but she has said she would hate to be a parent today. She feels there is too much pressure and competitiveness, some of it self-imposed.

I was born in the 70's. My sisters were born 10 yrs before me, in the 60's.

My sisters were the ones who walked me to school, mammy had the housework to do

She made the beds every day as soon as we had all gone to school, hoovered every day, ironed most days [she had 8 children] did about 4 loads of washing a day & they had a machine quite early as my father mended an old broken one his brother was throwing out.

I do remember my mam taking us to the park though, taking us walks up the road with the dog, taking us to the river for a picnic & standing at the end of the path as we walked up the road alone to pick raspberries & blackberries!

So, as much as she did all the housework etc we all had our own jobs to do too. My sisters washed & dried dishes from a very early age, my father made them stools so they could reach the sink. My brothers had to fil the coal scuttle & I quite often & from an early age washed the potatoes & set the table.

Forward on 30years & my mam is the one who tells me "Feck the housework, play with your children, be there for them... if you can, go out of the home & work, 2 children is enough, don't tie yourself to the kitchen sink, make a life for yourself apart from the children too... don't forget about your husband"

So, as much as my mam did all of the above, I often sense that she regrets having as many as 8 children & she definitely regrets not learning to drive & spending all her time raising children & doing housework.

Yes. We forget that for many of us, it was our mothers who insisted on us working hard at school and, basically, not ending up with their lives. So they may not have complained but they weren't necessariliy happy.

My mother saw herself as a wife and mother.

there was little or no time for 'her' as her.

She worked to bring in some money for the family. She saw her role as facilitating my father's life, then ours.

Wheras I love my family, and have been a SAHM as well as a WOHM, but I still make sure that I am 'me'

My mother thought this sort of thinking mad, in fact she thought it was dangerous.

When my dh and I were both working full time and had no kids she actually thought it wrong that I expected him to do half the house work.

I'm glad I love now, with the choices that I have had. Her life would have been horrific for me. It seemed to satisfy her

At the time we thought my mam was satisfied too. She just wasn't.

I'm sure she often wondered if there was more to life.

I do remember things coming to a head one night when she out her coat on & walked out the door. Said she had enough.

Ho hum.

I have my Grandmother's diaries from the 1960's and it sounds like they were CONSTANTLY popping Valium.

My mum had a degree and had what would be termed a good job in the public sector. However, this being pre Equal Opportunities, it was poorly paid with very few of the rights and benefits that many working women have to day (maternity leave, far less annual leave etc).

I think she feels disappointed that I haven't lived up to her (and her generation's) expectations

I agree that parents were less hands-on. I think children were left to 'grow up' while the adults basically got on with things. My parents had shops and I just tagged along all the time. There were never activities for ME, or play-dates - I didn't mix with other children until I went to school. An exciting trip out was to the cash and carry...

I think we worry about "filling" our children's lives with wholesome activities a bit too much.

I had a boss who was very successful. She had her first child pre-current maternity rights legislation. And when she had her first child she went back after six weeks and took the time off out of her holiday allowance. Fun eh?

The great thing about being a mum twenty years ago is that you never had to negotiate tv/computer/playstation time. I wish it was like that now. Give an inch and they take a mile.

Ha ha - how many mothers worked in the 60s? NOt many!

My Mum didn't work in the 70s - I hate to say it but if I didn't work life would be whole lot easier.

And I wasn't taken to swimming lessons, spanish lessons, football coaching twice a week. Umpty dumpty parties, playdates etc.

I don't know about 'easier' but we are far more 'time poor' than our parents were.

I'm inclined to think that taking one's children to activities is largely our choice.

Me too, NKF.