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Original poster

Urgh...SHE's fat.

60 replies

Levanna · 02/11/2004 21:58

TO an 8 week old baby. By her aunt, and in front of said 8 week olds 2.5 year old sister.
Acceptable?

OP posts:
subs · 02/11/2004 21:59

absolutely not - i mean, its madness

people are so wierd

collision · 02/11/2004 22:00

How unbelievably appalling........am speechless.

Friend of mine is worried her 8 MONTH daughter will be fat and worries when she drinks extra milk! I have told her not to be so ** stupid! It makes me furious.

What did you say?

Yorkiegirl · 02/11/2004 22:01

Message withdrawn

Twiglett · 02/11/2004 22:02

Fat for a baby is great, good, wonderful

The aunt is obviously in need of something .. maybe some professional help?

subs · 02/11/2004 22:03

also - fat as opposed to what - on a diet?

Catbert · 02/11/2004 22:08

I find all these sorts of comments appalling. I recently heard that someone said to a friend of mine "you'll have to start him on the semi skimmed soon!!" about her 2 year old son, who TBH I have always thought a very lean child! This friend then asked me if I thought her son was getting fat? I was speechless!

Caligula · 02/11/2004 22:15

Loony.

(the aunt, not the last poster!)

Catbert · 02/11/2004 22:23

you'd be right either way (snort)

Original poster
Levanna · 02/11/2004 22:23

TBH I said absolutely nothing, didn't acknowledge her in any way, I've been absolutely seething about it ever since. Mind you, this was the same person (SIL) who stood in my bedroom, ranting at me, literally verbally abusing me in front of DD1 while I breastfed DD2 the day following her birth! She eventually left after she'd been asked four times to do so (I totally refused to enter in to an argument with her, given the situation!). The reason? Because I'd not let anyone else hold DD just after she was born! (I mean, within the next few hours.) It's just a personal belief I hold regarding the bonding process, but this seemed to totally infuriate certain members of DH's family into a total self obsessed frenzy.
$hits!

OP posts:
Merlot · 02/11/2004 22:25

silly cow (sil) - is she anorexic by any chance?

Original poster
Levanna · 02/11/2004 22:27

Bulimic, so really should understand the possible consequences of such comments? Besides, though DD1 is below the lowest centile for weight, DD2 is only on the 50th!

OP posts:
Caligula · 02/11/2004 22:28

Blimey Levanna, she sounds madder and madder! Tell us some more! One of the things about Mumsnet, is that real life characters are so much loonier than Soap ones!

Merlot · 02/11/2004 22:29

keep your chin up Levanna - ignore these silly inlaws. What does your dh think of all these goings ons?

Caligula · 02/11/2004 22:30

Sorry, my comment about her being madder and madder wasn't about her being bulimic - it was the holding thing, and posts crossed.

But tbh, if she still has these enormous hang-ups, I'd keep her away from my baby. I have a friend who is always on mad diets and goes on and on about people being fat, and I'm really scared she'll give my daughter body dysmorphia. There's enough pressure on young girls as it is, without having someone who has a serious hang-up about it negatively influencing your child.

Gingerbear · 02/11/2004 22:32

You can choose your friends but there's nowt you can do about yer relatives.
An old Yorkshire saying.....

hazydaisy · 02/11/2004 22:32

bloody ridiculous behaviour from the SIL, well done for keeping your cool! - i think your baby has cuddles with mummy only rule is lovely - the poor wee thing is already in sensory overload compared with being cocooned in a womb and doesn't need to be passed from person to person.
on the subject of commenting on a baby being 'fat', when i signed up for weight watchers (ok my secret is out) with my young gorgeously chubby baby on tow, one of the women taking the money leant over into his buggy saying 'perhaps you should lose a little weight' - laugh? i nearly decked her!!

Gingerbear · 02/11/2004 22:33

Except perhaps ignore them...

Original poster
Levanna · 02/11/2004 22:34

He's as gobsmacked as I am (DH) by their recent behaviour. Stood up nicely, though of course politely to his mother during a recent altercation (also day following the birth, in our home). Cue his mother, when I next saw her "All of my children would do anything for me, they all love me. I just don't fel like * loves me anymore." (Interspersed of course with the necessary waterworks to make the whole display come across as THE funniest, though TBH hammiest performance I've ever witnessed.)

OP posts:
Caligula · 02/11/2004 22:38

Sounds like your in-laws are better than soaps, levanna. Chuck out the TV!

Original poster
Levanna · 02/11/2004 22:39

Caligula, it's ok, I realised posts had crossed. Yup, she's absolutely loopy, though of course, no-one's referring to the eating disorder.

I have actually made it clear to DH that she's not to have contact with DD's until she's got her head and mouth under control. I'm sure her comment was partially a jibe at me, which of course makes it no less acceptable, just worse on more levels, IYSWIM!

OP posts:
Original poster
Levanna · 02/11/2004 22:41

'She' being SIL. There's no need to reduce MIL's contact, SIL recently had a baby boy, so DD's are now officially unnecesary, or so it would seem as their GP's haven't bothered their arses with them since.
Again, $hit's!

OP posts:
handlemecarefully · 02/11/2004 23:09

Speechless re your SIL !!!!!!

sweetkitty · 02/11/2004 23:11

My mother on seeing the first pic of DD over the net after she was born "she looks fat and ginger!" she was 6lb 3ozs!!!

When I told her she had reached 9lbs she said "you had better watch her you'll get told off for her being too fat at the baby clinic" WTF
she's still only on the 25th centile.

Right enough if DD wasn't gaining weight it would be my fault for wanting to breastfeed her.

IMO you cannot win, they are either too fat or not fat enough!!

Original poster
Levanna · 02/11/2004 23:31

People are just so outragously rude, aren't they! I am hoping (no doubt in vain) that just having had a little one herself, SIL will learn to have a little empathy and kindness. Hardly likely though, if her mother is anything to go by . Sweetkitty, that's must have been awful! I breastfeed too, and I'm sure it's meant to be a direct hit regarding my capabilities for providing for them? Arragh, who knows, if they were formula fed, maybe they'd be just the same. Once a b!tch, always a b!tch!

OP posts:
prufrock · 03/11/2004 08:07

Levanna - my MIL sounds like your SIL. Ex ballet dancer who took speed for years to control her appetite. My dd (2.6) is skinny, but she constantly says that she will have to lose weight if she wants to be a dancer (good job she's not going to be a dancer then). I have subtly opposed her when she's said things, but after her last visit dd came up to me and showed me her tummy and said "look Mummy, my got fat belly" - so I am going to have to lay down the law. She also refers to ds, who at 6 months is the hugest, chubbiest, most deliciously roly-poly baby, as a "Bruser" (she can't spell either)