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Original poster

upset about christmas allready

17 replies

nikcola · 27/10/2004 14:50

as you no dds dad is muslim and he doesnt really celebrate christmas he doesnt hate it or anything just not as excited about it as we are,

our dd is 3 soon and its also eid soon (i call it his christmas) wich he will celbrate with his family as normal,

for the past 5 years we have been together ive done nothing on christmad day but cry my family (my mom and step dad) dont want me to come to them on christmas day even though ive begged them

my dad doesnt want to no me any more and i really bloody hate christmas, dd hasnt had a specail christmas yet, he will be spending the day with us but like last year he just didnt seam bothere dhe ave me some money for clothes but that was it it really hurt me that he wouldnt try for dd she english as well as muslim i said to him,

he said she can selpebrate christams (tyhats so nice of him

i asked him he woulld make an effort for christams this year and he said well only if you make an effort for eid FFS he spends it with his family so how can i do that im not even allowed to go round there am i ,

last year i bought a hallal(sp) chicken and made a dinner and he refused to eat it saying i was making him turn english FFS, all i want is a nice christmas how do i get it sorry about the ramble

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motherinferior · 27/10/2004 14:53

Sweetie. You know what lots of people are going to say, aren't you: that he's just not bothering enough for you and his lovely daughter.

Know what I think you should do? Tell him not to come round on Christmas day. Yep, it'll hurt. But not as much, I reckon, as begging and pleading with him for a nice day will hurt. And have a party for you, dd and anyone else you feel like. After all, if he's no bloody fun on Christmas day you're not losing anything: you and Shireen can have a nice day together. Honestly.

Original poster
nikcola · 27/10/2004 14:54

i no he souldnt be coming round but he sayis he wnts to see her on christmas day thats what i dont get

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Original poster
nikcola · 27/10/2004 14:57

does anyone else really spend christas day on their own i want a big family christmas

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helsi · 27/10/2004 14:58

Tell him a set time that he can see her - maybe later on in the day or first thing in the morning?

Could you arrange to spend it with friends so that you are away and can't see him?

Sorry don't know much about your situation just throwing some ideas up in the air.

gothicmama · 27/10/2004 15:00

check here for info on Eid info

nutcracker · 27/10/2004 15:01

Nik i would not do anything for him, he doesn't for you.

Concentrate on making xmas special for you and dd.

hester · 27/10/2004 15:02

Nikcola, MI is right. You are handing your dp the power to hurt you. I'm sorry your own dad won't help you celebrate Christmas; don't let the same thing happen to your daughter. You need to stop waiting for your dp to get excited about Christmas (after all, and apart from everything else, it's not his religion) and make sure that it is a special day for you and your dd. Decorate a little tree, cook a chicken, sing carols, only allow in the door people who will share the same spirit, and have a lovely day!

Original poster
nikcola · 27/10/2004 15:03

cheers gm, i want to try and make eid special but he and dd wont be here i will be on my own so i dont see the point, im going shopping with him on sunday to get his and dds new clothes

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Original poster
nikcola · 27/10/2004 15:04

mi would love to go to my friends for x mas but dont want to be rude and invite myself

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nutcracker · 27/10/2004 15:04

invite them to you then

Original poster
nikcola · 27/10/2004 15:05

yeh i might do that or failling that ill be the only on on mn on xmas day !!!!!!!!!!

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gothicmama · 27/10/2004 15:05

Agree with Nutty and everyne make christmas special for you and dd start your own family traditions perhaps bake cookies christmas for santa - have something special for brekkie and enjoy having a day together

crunchie · 27/10/2004 15:09

The best thing you can do would be to invite friends over to your on Christmas day, then hopefully they will actually invite you to theirs. I know I would invite anyone who was going to be alone on Christmas day to mine - although we always end up at MIL as I am jewish so me and my parents don't celebrate.

Good Luck

Original poster
nikcola · 27/10/2004 15:10

im going to try ringning my dad agin (he allways hangs up on me) and see if he wants to come round allthough i asked him last year but he prefreed to spend the day with his girlfriend and her mim

another thing its dds birthday soon and my dad isnt even going to bother with dd and that hurts so much i hate him for doing that for ,
should i remind him thats its her birthday soon or not bother xx

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DelGirl · 27/10/2004 15:13

I shall probably be on my own this year too Nikcola so we can be on mn together lol

Galaxy · 27/10/2004 15:17

message withdrawn

Original poster
nikcola · 27/10/2004 15:36

lol galaxy you knew it would be me !!! thanks you ok havent seen you about for ages xxxx

why will you be on your won del girl(sorry for prying)

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