Urgent! Advice needed - moral dilemma

[titchy]

This is nothing to do with parenting or children so I hope you all don't mind my asking for advice.

I stupidly got a parking ticket a couple of days ago, but the warden wrote out my car registration incorrectly. Hooray I thought I've got away with it, but now I'm having guilty thoughts of some poor so and so who will be getting rude letters in a few weeks threatening him/her with a thousand ound fine. The car is only three years old, so the person who gets the letters will have a fairly new car too and if they can afford a three year old car then maybe they'll be able enough to argue that it wasn't them, or maybe the incorrect registration doesn't exist.

I know I'm trying to justify not paying and grasping at straws, but dh says I'd be silly to pay when I can get away with it, and most people would take advantage. I'm feeling a little guilty though.

What would fellow M'netters do?

Thanks!

Titchy

Definitely would have kept the wine Its good to know that others crumble in the face of authority too! I always imagine such scenarios and what I would say etc. It never works out like that in real life though, unfortunately. Agree that the policeman was an arse: we have to carry documents too in Netherlands - driver's license, identity card etc. and I frequently forget mine but have not been stopped (yet), thank the Lord.

Thanks!

RE blue badges. We went to Safeway yesterday after picking up DS from school and were lucky to get the nearest disabled bay to the store. Went around, done shopping and hubby asked me to get his ciggies while he took the tolley out with DD1(has CP too) and DD2 in the seats. I was queuing with DS, who was in his Major buggy, well while I was doing this, some old bloke had a go at hubby for parking in the disabled and told him "You're not disabled" to which DH replied "No I'm not, but she (DD1) is and so is my son inside" The bloke just drove off fast. Maybe people shouldn't be so quick to judge.

Have often seen able bodied people or child free people parking in designated ares - just hope that one day I get up enough courage to ask why they feel the need too - especially when I have had to put my child through the back of the car to get her in. All the p+C parking spaces were taken at the local tesco and so I parked as close as I could but in a regular space - managed to get car seat ( carry type) and baby out. After shopping came back and people had parked so close that I had to lay the split rear seat down and sit in the boot part to put my daughter in the car. Okay I accept this can happen but to then watch a young woman stroll out with a small bag of groceries - hop in her car ( parked in p+c) and toddle off made me sooo mad!!! At my local tesco, often see child free people parking in P+C spots whilst mothers are driving around trying to find somewhere to park with enough space to get their children out safely.

On one of the other site I am on, a lady's sister went around Tescos carpark with Post-its and a fat marker and wrote little notes like "wheres your badge?" and "hope you wake up tomorrow unable to walk, then you'll really need this space!!" A bit harsh but LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!

cor, what an interesting thread.
I am a Blue Badge holder of many years standing (no pun intended). Ariel, you should write a VERY polite letter to the council explaining your circumstances (and possibly a copy to your local councillor) and asking for some advice on this situation. IME a polite letter gets better results than you getting all steamed up with them. Be clear about which car park it is, and point out that their employee was less than helpful. The council dept should be able to cancel the fine, and clarify the position to their attendants. A copy to your councillor will highlight the issue.

I hate people who park in disabled bays without a badge, and my husband has previously taken up the issue (once posing as a sainsbury's manager to help a trolly pusher who had asked a rude person not to use a disabled bay). My bugbear is people who block up the bay at the supermarket cos they're "just going to the cashpoint/getting cigarettes/lottery ticket" etc. No help if I'm looking for a space at that time.

BTW I wouldn't have taken back the wine (haven't you ever been overcharged in the supermarket), nor offered back the money, but I wouldn't spend that money for ages (years even) just in case they tracked it down. I tried to do a balance transfer on my credit cards recently, and MBNA paid off someone elses tesco account with my money!!! Bet they didn't tell .

P.S. meant to say, some people are astounded that a disabled person is also a mum. Can't believe he's mine, and are always telling me how to cope with him at the supermarket. Luv 'em

Easy - I know what you mean about the cash machines. Why do they always put them right in front of the disabled/p&c spaces? My supermarket has about 10 disabled bays followed by 7 p&c spaces (all in a line) and the cash machines are smack bang in the middle of the p&c spaces. I have never parked in one of the disabled bays near the door but there is an overflow disabled area around the corner where I have occasionally parked and left a no p&c spaces left note in the windscreen. I was once in one of the p&c spaces (amazingly I actually found a vacant space) with my 3 kids, just loading the car to leave when the kids made a loud remark about a car parked accross the front of ours blocking us in. My vehicle being a large 4x4, I replied very loudly "never mind, I'll drive over it". You should have seen the hasty exit by the woman at the cash machine.

I wish I had the guts to say "and where's your child then?" to some of the ignorant cash machine users, fortunately children are quite good at making these comments for you with a little priming.

I was pleased to see the mums and bumps parking spaces at Asda when I went last week, why don't more stores have them?

I heard a story - maybe here on Mumsnet - about someone who parked her car across the end of a P&C parking place, thus blocking in the unaccompanied person who'd parked there. Brilliant! I'd have loved to see their face!

I couldn't help chuckle at the thought of the Mum&Bump spaces. "Excuse me madam, the management have reason to believe you are not pregnant but have a cushion stuffed up your jumper, with the intention of parking in one of our extra-width spaces. I must ask you to accompany me to the cafe, where we will force feed you greasy fish & chips and stale buns until you reach the size, and suffer the indigestion of, a genuinely pregant lady, to ensure you never reoffend."

just want to echo the advice given here ariel, havent read all the thread but out of experience if you are very annoyed i would do as easy says and contact local councillor write letter to council and tell them your going to the local press. they hate the press its amazing what councils and landlords and various "officials" do when threatened ever so nicely with the press especially around election time. get a free session at a solicitor get them to send a letter. write to a disabled charity asking their advice and thoughts copy this letter ( if its favourable to you) to the council department and inist on recieving a copy of their disbled policies to be sent to you so you can show your solicitor (whether you get a solicitor or not) to see if they have broken their rules and therefore if you have a case against them. whether you acually take the solicitors course of action or just use it to scare the sh*t out of them is up to you.

dont take it lying down, too many people do , bloody bureaucrats and jobsworths!!
good luck

Well i have sent a very stern but polite letter to the council, and have also e mailed them asking exactly what there policy is on a blue badge holder parking over two bays if there are no disabled bays available, now just awaiting a reply

Hmm not sure I'll get much backing on this but I must just tell....The other day it was raining, I was in a foul mood as I couldn't find a P&C space in Tesco's and yet there were cars without a childseat in sight filling all the P&C spaces. So I found a space and then parked just over the line of the neighbouring one, so that I could unload the kiddies without damage to them or to paintwork! The woman behind me swore at me out of the window and told me to repark, but as she had a small car I was sure she could fit in the remaining space, and told her so. Won't repeat what she said, but sometimes don't you just feel like a bit of Mother's revenge!!!

I once challenged someone at Safeways, who was leaving their car - taking the last parent & child space - to enter the supermarket....they swore at me at lot and I smiled, saying haven't you forgotten something? your children..
she said "I'm on my way to pick them up after I've done the shopping" - fab, huh?

I have a moral dilemma today... I have to go to Sainsburys, the children are in nursery, I don't have a blue badge but I've put my back out badly and can't get out of the car unless I open the door fully. If I can't get a spot on an edge, I'm doomed!

I had this once when I had broken my achilles tendon, but it didn't affect my driving as I was not in plaster (magic new treatment!) and my car is automatic.

I parked in the disabled bays and put a note on the windscreen saying - leg injury - on crutches - unable to walk far.

I never once got told off.

ouch SoupDragon that sounds painful... can you not stretch to a home delivery thingumy to save you the trip? Even if you do go in a disabled space it's going to be pretty painful going around the store, I would have thought. Especially lugging bags into the boot.

I despise Home Delivery as I always end up taking stuff back the next day and buying the things they've supposedly not got.

Walking is fine as I can keep completely vertical but steering the trolley round corners was tricky! I pack the bags very lightly and can lift them fine provided I don't bend. I've done this enough times before that I tend to just get on with things now! If I don't take painkillers, I can tell if I'm doing something stupid. A trip to the osteopath yesterday has worked wonders though.

I had to park at the very far end of the car park to get an end spot - should have thought about a note on the windscreen though. I was certainly feeling disabled at the time (and I don't mean that to sound insulting in any way at all - I know I'm going to get better and I know I'm very lucky).

I must say that becoming a mother has made me far more aware of the problems faced by disabled people. Trying to find pushchair accessible places, lifts, wide parking spaces, avoiding stairs, tables in the Debenhams restaurant which you can't fit one of their high chairs or a wheelchair under... I really didn't notice these things before.

The worst thing about home delivery is that they are usually out of many things I like and substitute with strange expensive things I would never choose instead. If I want 6x4litres of organic milk, they will give me 10x1 litre or organic instead -- I would have chosen 6x4 litre of non-organic. I want Rachel's Greek yogurt & they give me Rachel's ordinary instead, or tiny pots of Rachel's Greek - I would have bought any bulk container Greek yogurt. Whatever they choose works out as considerably less value for money. Then they pack the lot in as many plastic carrier bags as humanly conceivable; no more than 2 tiny yogurt pots pure bag, anyway. Grrrrr.

My soapbox over...

I'm not very sympathetic about most of your parking woes. Is there some reason, Lil, that you truly need a very large car that doesn't fit into the ordinary supermarket spaces?

I was under the impression that Lil needed the extra space to unload children from car seats, not because she has a very large car... It's very very difficult to do in a non P&C spot.

Thanks soupdragon. T'is true. Surely its not just me- don't you find it pretty impossible to get a space that enables you to open both back doors of the car and get 2 babies out, without bashing the car next door. I know space is always at a premium, but the fact that shops have P&C spaces must mean there is a need there. Or is it that we mothers are prepared to put up with bad design of our utilities, by men??...

hmm better stop the rant coming on, especially if I start thinking about lack of womens toilets, complete lack of kiddies toilets (well wouldn't that be useful?) etc etc

sorry Zebra, I'll stop there!!

I think a lot of carparks were laid out when cars were smaller. The fact is lots of families now have, and find invaluable, MPV type cars which are bigger than your average saloon. Most of them don't have sliding doors, so parents have problems. And many carparks really do skimp on the side space.
It's most noticeable if you go to Bluewater. We have an "ordinary" sized little saloon and don't need parent and child parking there because the standard space is big enough for us to fling open doors to get ds out, without coming near the next car. It may be a hideous temple of consumerism etc but I am very grateful to their planners for that.

So owning a big car gives a person the right to park however they like?

Ha, Zebra, if supermarkets wish to attract my money and custom, then they have to accept that mothers with 4x4s etc NEED bigger spaces and should provide them. If they don't provide them then yes as a customer I am bloody well entitled to take up the space required by my car.

Why not? where does it say you can only have one space??????

.. and surely its the parking spaces that should accomodate the cars using them, not the other way around!!

Its on windy days that I curse the car parks, trying to get your child into a car without wind blowing door always in to car next to you can be very difficult!