Urgent! Advice needed - moral dilemma

[titchy]

This is nothing to do with parenting or children so I hope you all don't mind my asking for advice.

I stupidly got a parking ticket a couple of days ago, but the warden wrote out my car registration incorrectly. Hooray I thought I've got away with it, but now I'm having guilty thoughts of some poor so and so who will be getting rude letters in a few weeks threatening him/her with a thousand ound fine. The car is only three years old, so the person who gets the letters will have a fairly new car too and if they can afford a three year old car then maybe they'll be able enough to argue that it wasn't them, or maybe the incorrect registration doesn't exist.

I know I'm trying to justify not paying and grasping at straws, but dh says I'd be silly to pay when I can get away with it, and most people would take advantage. I'm feeling a little guilty though.

What would fellow M'netters do?

Thanks!

Titchy

Thanks for the advice sobernow, i had not sent the letter so i have rewritten it as per your advice and sent it, it does really anger me, as my previous postings on this subject might indicate, nothing makes my blood boil as much as this subject, so id better go before i start to rant even more!!

pamt, i have also conntacted the council regarding any policy they might have , and will try my damm hardest to make them change this stupid rule of fineing a disabled driver/passenger if they have to park over two bays, will keep you up to date as soon as i hear from the council

To play Devils Advocate; in our town Disabled bays still have to pay the normal charges. We have hundreds of disabled spaces & they are always empty! If I park in one because there are no ordinary spaces, & get a ticket, will I still get the same sympathy?
We went to a zoo in Cornwall. There was a tiny carpark & 8 disabled spaces- all empty. The car park was packed & nowhere else to go outside. People were driving round & round getting more & more irate. For someone to be able to walk around the zoo, surely they could also walk across the car park?

Tallulah, the driver of the car might not be the disabled person who has been awarded the badge. There are plenty of carers (me soon to be one of them when ds reaches 2) who are the drivers of disabled people. And yes it is annoying when there are no bays left, but it seems like they are usually filled with non disabled cars anyway. Ds goes to a children's centre very week for his physio, and every single time the bays outside his centre, which are clearly marked for disabled use, are filled by non disabled vehicles. This drives us and his physiotherapist mad, and now we block them in so when they want to leave they have to explain what they were doing there to a very irate physio. My son can't walk or sit unsupported btw. Everyone likes to have a bit more room to park their car, but there are some who need it a bit more than others.

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Or, for example, my friend who had breast cancer and was having chemotherapy was issued a disabled badge as she wasn't supposed to take public transport (too much exposure to germs for her weakened immune system) and she was too weak to walk too far, but could walk short distances. Certainly to anyone looking at her she appeared "undisabled" but in reality fully deserved her blue badge.
I have to say it amazes how often you see non blue badge holders parked in disabled spots in this country. In the usa the fine for illegally parking in a disabled spot is hundreds of dollars (regardless of the other fines in the area) so people don't abuse the rules.

Many years ago my mom and stepdad were out and could not find any parking spaces available close enough to the entrance. As she was driving she noticed a car parked in a handicap space with no handicap sticker on the plate or tag hanging from the inside mirror. She was so irritated because there were few other spaces as it was she called the police because she thought they deserved to be fined. She watched as they pulled up and slapped a fine right on the winsheild. Maybe that taught them to obey the laws and leave the spaces for those who were entitled to them.

I have never, and would never, park in a disabled space.
However, our town has just issued hundreds of blue badges (can't remember how many but it was in the paper & I was shocked that it was hundreds) & it is a particular bugbear of mine. We have a pedestrian precinct which blue badge holders are allowed to drive through at all times. They don't drive as if they were in a precinct. They drive like they were on a main road, 30- 40 mph, beeping their horn if someone is walking too slowly in the way. I can't believe that a town of this size could have so many genuine badge holders. I always understood you had to be really very disabled to qualify.
Then the supermarkets have a huge section just disabled bays. There are never more than 1/4 used at any time.
Then you sit and watch as someone gets out of a massive brand new 4x4 with a blue badge on, sprints across the car park and dashes round the shop, and think "hang on?"
Perhaps it's a problem peculiar to this area, but you only need to see that a few times & it's no wonder people get anti. (Though some people just don't care and will just park anywhere & sod everyone else).

Also, it may be self-inflicted, but isn't a pregnant woman with a small toddler equally unable to walk far? Supermarkets provide parent & baby spaces, but normal car-parks don't.

Sometimes I think the blue badge is too strict! (sorry Tallulah). My mum broke her back in a car accident a few years back and was in a really bad way. She qualified for a badge for a while but then got to the point where she could walk just beyond the required distance but not much further. Because it was tied to benefits (disability allowance?) they were strict and removed both. Now, fair enough for the benefits, but keeping the badge for at least another year while she recovered would have made a big difference to her quality of life.

She's now almost fully recovered but her back is still quite weak and can "go" at any point which puts her in agony for weeks. A simple visit to the chiropracter can be a major ordeal. I suppose though the blue badge has been abused too often for it to be opened out more

People parking in Bule sticker bays just shouldn't do it. Even if all the bays are emply you just don't know that there will be a sudden rush while you are away, and someone who needs the spot will not be able to get it. The same thing goes for P&C spots. I went to tescos yesterday, and there were 3 poeple using the slots with no children in tow. One was a young man, one a woman in her early 30's and one an older woman, who looked very fit. It annoyed me, but if that was the blue sticker area, and I needed a parking space there, I might not have been able to do my shopping. IMHO parking in a M & C slot without kids is bad, but parking in a blue sticker slot is even worse.

Oh and I once saw a man parking in the pregnant woman area....nice trick!

Maybe he thought his beer belly would qualify him hmb!

My son is the disabled one in my family and I am pretty sure that DD1 would be allow one too but haven't got round to getting one. We only park in the Disabled bays if DS is with us and we don't mind parking else where as DS has a wheelchair and doesn't have to walk that far. He can walk but only for a short period and then he tires. DD1 still uses a normal buugy (but not for long) People must wonder about me and DH as we are not disabled but we have to park in the disabled bays when DS is with us. IF DS is not getting out the car we park elsewhere.
We don't all abuse the badges and we only use ours if we really need too.

Likewise , we only use a disabled bay when dd is with us .As she is 5 and very small we have also had alot of funny looks when getting in and out of our car, and have had a extremly rude old woman shout at us for useing a bay.We also have a disabled parking bay outside our house which people continuesly use which infuriates(sp?) me, especially as there is a free public car park just around the corner, its especially annoying when we have to carry her half way down the road as theres no where to park.

I parked in a P&C spot at Tescos yesterday as when I arrived I had DS2 with me. I met a friend in the store and she took DS2 home with her as he had chicken pox and was miserable. Therefore by the time I left, I did not have my child with me. I did rush round the store so that I was in there the least amount of time possible though.

I would never park in a disabled spot though. Having said that, I did think that pregnant women in their last month should be issued with a temporary blue badge. I was certainly unable to walk long distances and needed lots of space to open the car door in my last month(s).

It annoys me when people use the disabled and P&C bays at Tescos to visit the cash machines. OK, they may not be long but in that time, someone entitled to the bay might need it.

The moral maze: 2 new ones...

Once, when ds was a baby, I had him sitting in his carseat inside the supermarket trolley. I did a big shop, and it was only when I got the whole lot back to the car that I realised that a bottle of wine had sneaked its way underneath ds's seat, and had gone unnoticed at the cashdesk. Can't remember now whether I took it back there and then, or was in a hurry and did it the next day - anyhow, I did take it back.
However, at the information point, when I'd explained the whole thing, they just looked at me as if I was mad, and half-heartedly took it back. I'm sure they were exchanging looks as I went away.
The next time it happened (Guide's honour, it was genuine, I was as shocked as anyone to see another bottle of wine lurking under the carseat ...) - I kept it. Should I have done?? It's not happened a third time...

However, I guess my come-uppance was last week. I was driving down a residents-only road (who else does this??) as a short cut and got stopped by the police. I'd always thought in such a scenario that I'd be able to come out with a good story that I was just looking at a house in the road because I'd heard it was up for sale, blah, blah.
But... when faced with a real-life policeman, I just couldn't even think about lying. I may as well have said 'it's a fair cop'.
Punishment indeed though. A big fine - and I had to produce all my papers and to my horror my driving licence wasn't there! He said that as I couldn't produce it, I wasn't entitled to be driving the car, and he'd have to take the keys off me. All this with ds and dd sitting in the car with me, and it was cold, raining and getting dark. But, instead of even trying to argue a case, maybe to produce the licence the next day at a police station, I just rang a (very kind!) friend, meekly got out of the car with ds and dd in tow, got picked up at the end of road, went home to fetch the licence, and went all the way back again to get the car back!

Was really annoyed with myself for a whole list of things: breaking the law, getting caught(!), and then for being so meek and humble with the policeman .

That policeman was being a bit ridiculous, I never carry my documents around with me. Surely he should have asked you to produce them at the station within so many days.

I've had things hide in a supermarket trolley too but always found them before I'd finished paying. I think on one occasion something really small had slipped under the child seat and I didn't notice until I was loading the car so I didn't go back in then.

What would you do if the person in front of you had something that they didn't put on the conveyor belt? Would you tell them? I once shopped a shop lifter who had quite blatantly put a bag of sweets inside her jacket right in front of me.

I didn't realise that rushingaround. I thought that if you got stopped by the police and didn't have your papers with you - you had 'x' number of days to produce them at the local police station. I often drive without my licence, particularly DH's car.

I didn't even know you had to carry your documents. Do you? I never do, eek! FWIW, I wouldn't have taken the wine back (out of laziness more than anything and in the light of your first experience of them looking at you as if you were mad) and I'd have pleaded and begged the policeman to let me off.

That's rubbish - you're definitely allowed 'x' days to produce the papers at the nearest station - I never carry mine around with me they always stay safely in the filing cabinet at home! That policeman had a cheek when you had kids in the back, that's shocking.

That is b from the police. You get either 21 or 28 days to produce at a local police station. Pity you didn't get his collar number and report him.

Would have kept the wine!

Glad others agree. I do tend to keep my license in my car - but certainly not other docs that police are entitled to request to see (insurance, MOT etc).

Ah... but is RushingAround in the UK?

FWIW, I've no idea where my license is. I sent off for a new one in a rush when I thought I'd been snapped by a speed camera and haven't seen it since. I know I put it "somewhere safe".

We live in Luxembourg, and unfortunately I think he did have a point - but I should've argued the case. Have wondered why I didn't but, I don't know, bad day already, PMT, and I crumpled and just went along with it all. Problem was, I didn't crumple enough and think to burst into tears! Just shows how what sort of mood you're in already can affect how you react to a situation...
Ah well, at least it wasn't points on the licence.

The wine was good BTW!

Glad I don't live in Luxembourg.