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Original poster

friends DH caned his ds?!

78 replies

joanneg · 20/10/2004 19:38

I say friend it is actually the daughter and son in law of my Mums best friend.

The story is: the ds is FIVE - cant go into why the child was naughty just incase the mum uses this site - but needless to say it wasnt very naughty at all and involved him taking something that wasnt his.

Anyway the dad wanted his son "to have a hiding to remember so he would never steal again". So took out a cane (I mean who actually has a bloody cane??) and walloped his ds across the bottom (dont know how many times). He left nasty red marks across the childs bottom.

I was really shocked about this, not sure that my mum was really as shocked as me. I am not overacting m I??

OP posts:
Tinker · 20/10/2004 19:40

No, you're not overreacting

FairyMum · 20/10/2004 19:40

It is illegal so I would report him to the police. I hope the son hits him back when his dad is old and frail!

Angeliz · 20/10/2004 19:42

Agree with fairymum, report him!

cupcakes · 20/10/2004 19:42

God - makes me feel a bit ill to think about it...

myermay · 20/10/2004 19:43

Message withdrawn

Original poster
joanneg · 20/10/2004 20:00

I am glad that it is not just me that found this bad. I thought that it was illegal too - especially as it left marks. What makes mesick is they already treat this boy like the black sheep of the family and he is 5.

OP posts:
kalex · 20/10/2004 20:02

BLOODY HELL report him PRONTO

motherinferior · 20/10/2004 20:13

It's absolutely shocking.

miam · 20/10/2004 20:19

This is so upsetting - no you are not overreacting!

It doesn't matter WHAT he did - there is no excuse to take punishment to that degree. Discipline should be given with love - how could the little lad possibly think his dad loves him after that??!! Awful.

Hulababy · 20/10/2004 20:24

No you're not over reacting. It's awful The poor little boy. Why didn't his mum stop it? There is no way I would allow my DH (not that he would ever think of it) do that - he'd have to hit me first to get to him.

jodee · 20/10/2004 20:27

No over-reaction at all - the poor lad. Do you know if he has smacked him on a regular basis? I would be VERY worried, if he has gone this far with his son, who's to say he won't do it again.

Yorkiegirl · 20/10/2004 20:27

Message withdrawn

JanH · 20/10/2004 20:31

I am horrified too, joanne. I think your mum probably is shocked too, even though she's a different generation she must know that this just isn't done now - talk to her again and see if you can find out how she really feels.

Reporting this to the police would be a big step for all concerned - I wonder if you can get across to this man that if you ever hear about him doing anything like this again it will be reported? The "black sheep" thing is even more worrying - he needs to have someone looking out for him, poor little boy.

bonym · 20/10/2004 20:33

Oh my god, I agree, he must be reported before he does the child any irreparable harm - this is abuse and if he's done it once he will undoubtedly do it again - if not worse.

Cam · 20/10/2004 20:37

This is criminal, actionable assault and should be reported to the police. The consequences for the adults concerned are irrelevant - the boy needs protection.

lou33 · 20/10/2004 20:47

I would report it, it's absolutely not acceptable.

moomina · 20/10/2004 20:50

Absolutely agree with everyone here. You are not overreacting. Please report this man. It makes me feel sick to think of a little boy being treated like this.

JanH · 20/10/2004 20:57

I didn't mean the adults, Cam - I meant the family - I was just thinking maybe it could be stopped now and sorted without breaking them all apart.

Though maybe that would be best...

Freckle · 20/10/2004 22:11

If you feel that contacting the police is a step too far at the moment, what about the NSPCC?

WideWebWitch · 20/10/2004 22:15

Gosh, this made my hair stand on end (really, my head went all prickly), please do report them.

SofiaAmes · 20/10/2004 22:25

I believe that "smacking" is ok, but that is NOT smacking, it's beating and that's NOT OK. Report him. But I think perhaps it might be better to report him to social services rather than the police??

Caligula · 20/10/2004 22:44

I agree with Sofia Ames. I think social services might be a better option than the police. But this man does need to be reported. If he thinks this is normal, then he is barking.

The family won't necessarily be broken apart. SS will do an investigation and report on what action needs to be taken. It's unlikely that unless there is other abuse going on (which is possible) they would split the family over one incident.

acer · 20/10/2004 22:45

No your no overreacting, thats sick, i would report this.

mammya · 20/10/2004 23:02

Poor little boy, I agree with everyone else, you must report it.

MarmaladeSun · 21/10/2004 10:14

I can't beleive the mother allowed this to happen. I remember once, very early on in our marriage, my DH was furious with DD for something she had done and he came towards her to physically make her do whatever iot was...(he's her stepfather BTW) and I went ballistic. I put DD behind me and like a banshee screamed at him that if he ever raised his hand to my kids I would kill him, and that includes our DD together. I don't mean for one minute that he would have hit her but even physical man handling is too much IMO.