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Original poster

I am right to tell...aren't i ??

72 replies

doziduck · 15/10/2004 12:15

hope no one thinks i am that T word ( coz i'm not) but this is a bit of a tricky situation.
I am a cleaner, i clean at peoples houses. I clean for a lady who has a 13 year old son who is a real problem. I don't know the full ins and outs of it all but i do know that he has been suspended from school that much that he is now not in school at all until they can sort out what to do with him. I also know he goes to anger management at the hospital.
so, the last few weeks he's been moping round the house while i am cleaning, i have tried to be chatty but he appears shy and awkward. last week and the week before some other boys have been coming round to the house for him, they haven't stayed long but they have been making me very uncomfortable saying things like 'Hey x are you still sh*£%ing the cleaner' etc. I have ignored it completely. Yesterday ,OMG, he had gone upstairs, i went to clean upstairs, his bedroom door was closed right to so i assumed he was in there and pushed open the door to his mums room (which was closed but not right to) and there he was on her bed with his willy in his hand, i darted into the ensuite trying to work out what to do/say and decided to just get out of there. I am not going back but i think i'll have to ring his mum and tell her whats happened, it's so embarassing. DH reckons he's done it on purpose but i don't know what to think. He did look startled but then just put it away and rolled over and stayed on the bed for a while.
Help, this is doing my head in. I have turned it over in my mind that much now that i keep thinking what if i got it wrong and it wasn't how it seemed, but no, i don't really think so. What do i do?

OP posts:
codswallop · 15/10/2004 12:16

I would not mentiont he willy but
just say his attitude isnt very nice to you.

JoolsToo · 15/10/2004 12:18

coddy - this isn't you again is it?

codswallop · 15/10/2004 12:19

really not! isnt that odd!
have msn beccarollover to tell her about it

WigWamBam · 15/10/2004 12:19

No, I wouldn't mention him pulling the pudding either, although it will have been embarrassing for you both, it's quite normal. I would speak to him mother about his friends' attitudes though, it's probably just teenage banter but they need to know that it's not appropriate.

Beccarollover · 15/10/2004 12:22

This is definitely not me or coddy.

Doziduck, I sympathise that must have been a HORRIBLE situation to be in.

I wouldnt mention his willy either as at the end of the day he is a teenager and thats what they do and he would be HORRIFIED if his Mum mentioned it to him - may cause much more problems.

But his attitude did stink and that isnt acceptable eitehr so I think I would use that.

Original poster
doziduck · 15/10/2004 12:34

you really think i shouldn't mention it? The thing is dh reckons he intended for me to see him otherwise he wouldn't have used his mums room, he would have locked himself in the bathroom or something. he also thinks it's strange behaviour for when a cleaner is in the house i.e he could have waited till alone. He is a bit of a strange boy and i really don't know what he was thinking but dh is insisting i tell all

OP posts:
Original poster
doziduck · 15/10/2004 12:37

forgot to mention, he was up in his room smoking dope with his friend the other week aswell but i think his mum knows he does that, not sure she really deals with things appropriately but i guess thats not my business

OP posts:
Beccarollover · 15/10/2004 12:37

hmm yes that is a point that he was doing it in his mums room.

Hmmm its a very tough one

Twinkie · 15/10/2004 12:43

Bloody hell I would tell - what a weirdo!!!

tammybear · 15/10/2004 12:43

oh dear doziduck, not sure what to suggest. the comments his mates have made are just typical boy behaviour IMO. i do think its a bit odd that he was in his mum's room, but i suppose it could be like when you have someone round and you tend to go to the parents bedroom as its bigger but as he is on his own... not much help am i lol. do you suppose he may have been smoking dope before he went into his mums room?

popsycal · 15/10/2004 12:43

why might he have been smoking dope!?!?

tammybear · 15/10/2004 12:46

just a thought, may have influenced his behaviour to go into his mums room? its understandable if its in his own room or even the bathroom, but just seems rather odd to go into his mums when he knows someone else in the house iyswim

spacemonkey · 15/10/2004 12:47

did he realise you were in the house at the time dd? i.e. do you think he meant you to catch him on the bed in the hope of "something more" happening?

secur · 15/10/2004 12:53

Message withdrawn

nutcracker · 15/10/2004 12:57

Was gonna say that meybe his friends bet him to do it but then if they wern't there then that wouldn't make sense either.

TBH I would leave as it would make me very uncomfortable.

Original poster
doziduck · 15/10/2004 12:57

I just don't know. He knew i was there and he knows i clean all the rooms. When i first arrived he was still in bed. He then got up, i said hello to him. I knew he had gone back upstairs but because his door was shut i assumed he had gone back to bed or something. He must be either very blaze about it, not locking the door or anything or of course it might have been intended like dh thinks. I really don't know and i never said a word to him . I know he has been fighting, drinking, smoking etc so maybe i don't know what he's capable of but to look at him you'd think butter wouldn't melt.

OP posts:
poppyh · 15/10/2004 12:58

I think you should put yourself in the mothers position.
I know if my son behaved this weirdly I would want to know.
Although these things are normal things for a hormonal teenager it seems very inappropiate to behave like this in his mums room in front of you.

spacemonkey · 15/10/2004 12:59

I agree that if you are sure he knew you were there and was intending for you to catch him in the act, then I would mention it to his parents, but if you happened to catch him having a wank I wouldn't mention it, just the behavioural problems that have made you feel so uncomfortable.

Original poster
doziduck · 15/10/2004 12:59

he hadn't been smoking yesterday tammybear, i can smell it a mile off ;)

OP posts:
spacemonkey · 15/10/2004 13:00

Sorry, crossed posts there, I would definitely tell his mum. He knew you were there! She would want to know about this behaviour (well, I would if it was my ds!)

Uwila · 15/10/2004 13:01

I don't know. He sounds a bit like he doesn't really consider the consequences of his action all around -- and that is probably how he got suspended and why he goes to anger management. The thought that he planned doesn't really sound like it fits with the rest of the story. I think he''s just a dumb teenager.

And, one more thing... EEEEEEEWWWWWWW!!!!!

I could never look at him with a straight face again. And I certainly couldn't clean his room. Everything I touched, I'd be think "eewww I wonder if he...."

YUCK!

spacemonkey · 15/10/2004 13:02

I meant to add, poor you for having to deal with this - so awkward and embarrassing for you

The boy sounds really screwed up, I feel sorry for him too.

Original poster
doziduck · 15/10/2004 13:06

He is screwed up by all accounts. He was taking a big risk if he wasn't intending to be caught as i'm always busying in and out of the rooms. Would a 13 year old really not think it was risky?

OP posts:
Uwila · 15/10/2004 13:08

I hope I never have a teenage boy. I don't know what I would do if I was his mother.

By the way, what is she like? Does she see her son for who he really is? Or is she likely to go into denial and not believe you?

I think it might be easier for you to just cite unprofessional treatment by mischievous teenager and friends. I mean, verbal abuse, is not part of your job description, an it would probably be easier for you to leave it at that. Just havving to tell this story would be very stressful, stress that you perhaps could do without.

Also, I think you can't possibly ever know for sure that he meant to be caught. And it's a very risky accusation to make if you can't prove it.

Uwila · 15/10/2004 13:10

I really do think that teenagers are fearless. They fail to see the consequences a lot of times. And teenage boys with raging hormones are amazingly dumb sometimes. And this particular one defintel appears to lack discipline, or he would act the way he does at school.