Friend just buggered himself up and is now practically blind

[Rhubarb]

A close friend of both mine and dh's has this eye condition which was threatening to make him slowly blind. A few years ago he had a cornea transplant on his best eye, the other was deemed too far gone to operate on. It was a success and he was able to pass his driving test (something he was told he'd never be able to do) and he's got a good job, own flat, etc etc. He's also very fit and has done the 3 peaks with dh and they were due to cycle coast to coast next weekend.

But on Friday he got into a drunken argument with his friend, who punched him in the eye, dislodging the transplanted cornea.

He was rushed into hospital and they operated, but it was not a success. He can now barely see at all, he can just make out shapes. He's had to move back in with his parents as he needs help and support now.

We are desperately worried about him. Only time will tell what the final damage is, the doctors are waiting for the eye to heal before considering another operation. The thought of him being dependant for the rest of his life is just awful! He's always had such shit luck, and I feel so sorry for the guy.

Please spare a thought for him. Ta.

i keep reading this thread and not posting, but i am so sorry this has happened to your friend and all of you.

my friend went blind with diabetes when he was about 23. we were all a bit feeble (with hindsight) and really could have helped him a lot more. he died a couple of years later.

you of course won't be doing that, but if there is anything to be learned from my crapness it is don't wait to be asked. go do stuff for him. it matters a lot less that it is the wrong thing than that if you didn't bother.

soz not read the thread - suppose someone has suggested audio books - and have you research the national society for the blind?

he can use the internet there is the technology available.

he can get involved in local action groups and voluntary work - and should register at his local voluntary place

Preston Volunteer Exchange
Tel.: 01772 251 108

Preston Community Service Volunteers CSV

CONTACT NAME: Steve Egan
DESCRIPTION/ AIMS: Supports, promotes and develops local voluntary action and services. Offers information on a wide range of local voluntary organisations, community and self help groups. Volunteer exchange providing volunteering opportunities to individuals and organisations.
TELEPHONE: 01772 251108
ADDRESS: Preston CVS, Princes Building, 50/52 Lancaster Road, Preston, PR1 1DD
EMAIL: [email protected]; [email protected]

no website.

but they should be shit hot on the DDA - disability discrimination act - and should either be able to help him find something suitable in the area or be able to find someone who should

a job - should be able to help his confidence and self esteem.

We used to have a partially sighted ( almost blind) receptionist, as a public sector organisation - we cannot discriminate in terms of jobs - so if he is capable in something he will be employed eventually - and public sector bodies - such as councils - it helps their stats on employing disabled people - and they provide all equipment necessary toe nable person to carry out the job.

maybe a bit forward thinking - i am sure he is depressed - who wouldnt be.

My eldest has a friend who has a blind older brother - there are services involved with the family - i expect social services - but the older brother is about 20 - so if you want i can ask him to find out what agencies are involved

i know he goes to a residential place - that helps him

it was a degenerative disease he has - so he once could see ( very sad) and then as a teenager became blind - the North West are usually shit hot on this stuff - so i am sure there are lots of support agencies around - when he wants them - i know he has to get over depression first.

the point intellign you about residential place is that they taught him to cope with being blind and being independant - as an adult - he is not going to want to live with his mum forever and his mum isnt going to want him to.

I've only just seen this, Rhubs - very sad to hear about your friend (and the other guy who's caused this, how is he doing now?)

Is he a Radio 4 listener at all? There is a brilliant blind presenter on there; he was blind from birth so a bit different, but as well as presenting In Touch (the programme for blind people) he does various regular progs too like You and Yours.

Peter White - he always comes across as a lovely bloke and a brilliant example of how life can go on fairly normally even for a blind person. He did a stunning programme about a visit he made to China which made me ROFL at one point; they were talking about travelling in a local plane and how you could see so much of the countryside looking out of the windows - he said (with great good humour) "well, you can" which made them all (including the Chinese woman the prog was about, once it had been translated) fall about laughing.

It's going to be really tough for your mate to begin with but he sounds as if he has the character to cope with whatever comes (and he obviously has great support from you and his other friends )

Peter White's autobiography (there's an audiobook of it of course!) and links to other relevant books.

Ok, friend was meant to have his op today.

He's been waiting 2 months for this, being cared by his parents, sick through the drugs etc. He gets there at 7.30am and they refuse to operate. Says his eye is not in a fit state, has to wait another 3 weeks.

He was holding onto the hope that he might be able to see some for Christmas. We've booked a camping barn for New Year with some of our mates and him as a treat for him, but now it's doubtful he'll be able to see fa by then.

He's utterly utterly miserable.

He's not now sure if he can go at all for New Year, too soon after op and he could be drugged up. All depends on how it goes. Without him there'd be no point in us going, so we'll lose the deposist we paid, not that it matters that much I guess. Was just looking forward to treating him.

It now appears he got "lost" in the system and the consultant who was going to perform the op did not know he was operating today. So he gets all prepped up, but no op. How frustrating is that?

have totally missed this, rhubarb, your poor friend, how utterly dismal.

Oh that's the pits Rhubs. Could you see if you can move the barn booking to a later date? That way you hopefully wouldn't lose your desposit, and he would still have it to look forward to.

Dunno, it was meant to be a New Year's Eve meal. Everyone had the time off anyway as holidays were an issue for some.

We'll just have to wait and see. He's no set date for the op now, just a promise that they'll try and fit him in before Christmas but it won't be sooner than 2 weeks.

He could go private, but this consultant has operated on him from the word go and knows what he is dealing with, so friend really wants to go with him.

i think it is worth giving the place a call to see. they will be able to re-let it i'm sure. sounds like he really needs something to focus on (so to speak, gad) to keep him going. the situation is awful, just awful. do you know what's happened to the guy who punched him?

so sorry to hear this rhubarb

For now we'll keep it as it is as, best case scenario, he could still have the op before Christmas and see better than he does now. It could be just what he needs. If not, we'll have to cancel, we lose our deposit. I guess that's life.

The friend who punched him is one of his close friends. It was a punch in self defence by all accounts, although he was aiming for his face, he just happened to catch him very badly in the eye. Both were to blame, friend started the fight, the other hit back in self defence. All has been forgiven there, and he was one of the people due to come with us in the New Year.

What an awful story. Is there nothing at all the doctors can do ?

Not without the op I'm afraid, and that may not be a success, after all they don't know where his cornea is or if he has damaged the optic nerves, so this op would have also been exploratory. He would have know where he stood more. I think that is the crux of the problem, he doesn't yet know how bad the damage is, whether he'll ever be able to see in that eye again, etc etc.

It is so frustrating for him and bless, he really did want to be in a better position for Christmas.

Well he finally had his op on Monday. Sadly it was not the outcome he wanted. They didn't find his lense so he will need a transplant. He has a meeting with his consultant on Friday to find out what the future prognosis it. They did manage to remove the blood clot and at this stage they cannot say for certain if his optic nerves are damaged or not. He will be slightly disfigured for life as his eyeball has shrunk causing his eyelid to droop.

He was really hoping that they would find his lense intact and once the blood clot was removed he'd be able to see again. But now he faces the prospect of a few more months living with his mum and dad, unable to see properly.

I spoke to him tonight and he sounded very very down. I fear for him actually.

oh no for him. please let me know if there's anything I can do to help.

Do you think he's suicidal, Rhub?

I don't know Desi, I really don't. He's not had much luck in life, he was just starting to get his life on track, his own flat, good job, great car, good holidays and now this. I hope not, maybe I'm reading too much into it, but he did thank me for visiting last weekend - again, which I thought was a bit strange and he just sounded really distant, a bit abrupt and then almost apologetic for being abrupt.

I just don't know what else we can do.

that is so awful rhubs, your poor friend. wish i had something more construcvtive to say

Oh rhubarb, that sounds terrible, poor guy

oh rhubs

have been following and not said much. dear man. he sounds like he needs a boost somehow.

i hope he has his cornea transplant soon.

sadly this sort of transplant is often overlooked.

do you mind if i mention corneas on the blog? wont mention your friend out of respect.

this does not have to be the end of his world, at the moment his future looks bleak, but he can rebuild his life with or without sight.

I would be happy to talk to him if that would help in any way.

FairyTale no probs.

Wannabe - thank you for your offer and I'll bear you in mind if he needs to chat to someone, but right now I think he's too angry and too much in denial to speak to anyone. Unfortunately he'd set himself up to having his sight back after the op, even saying that he'd be able to drive up here for the New Year holiday we're taking him on. He refused to contemplate anything else. This is a huge blow to him.

He'll need transplants in both eyes. Last time he only had one cornea transplant, in the eye that has now popped, and it took months and was a nightmare, a real nightmare. To contemplate going through all that again...... plus he hates living with his folks, he's worried about his job, worried about his flat etc etc. I fear he may well go downhill, especially over Christmas.

All we can do is be there and support him. But it's not nice seeing anyone like this.