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Friend just buggered himself up and is now practically blind

88 replies

Rhubarb · 16/09/2007 20:20

A close friend of both mine and dh's has this eye condition which was threatening to make him slowly blind. A few years ago he had a cornea transplant on his best eye, the other was deemed too far gone to operate on. It was a success and he was able to pass his driving test (something he was told he'd never be able to do) and he's got a good job, own flat, etc etc. He's also very fit and has done the 3 peaks with dh and they were due to cycle coast to coast next weekend.

But on Friday he got into a drunken argument with his friend, who punched him in the eye, dislodging the transplanted cornea.

He was rushed into hospital and they operated, but it was not a success. He can now barely see at all, he can just make out shapes. He's had to move back in with his parents as he needs help and support now.

We are desperately worried about him. Only time will tell what the final damage is, the doctors are waiting for the eye to heal before considering another operation. The thought of him being dependant for the rest of his life is just awful! He's always had such shit luck, and I feel so sorry for the guy.

Please spare a thought for him. Ta.

OP posts:
Hulababy · 17/10/2007 20:57

Oh no I hope time brings some more positive news.

TheEvilDediderata · 17/10/2007 20:59

To be honest, Rhubarb, just take yourself. I doubt he'll be receptive to much else at the moment.

What a grim, sorry tale. Poor man.

MorticiasMother · 17/10/2007 21:14

He is one of my best friends and I feel really really depressed on his behalf. I thought about getting him some kind of exercise thing so that at least he can keep fit and burn some energy away.

This is the worst ordeal I think he has had to face so far.

Califright · 17/10/2007 21:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheEvilDediderata · 17/10/2007 21:19

Well, that wouldn't be a bad idea; something to work out his aggression, if nothing else.

HOPE! There's nothing can be done with current science, but who knows what's around the corner?

In the meantime, good friends like you are indispensable.

MorticiasMother · 17/10/2007 21:57

It's so hard to give him hope though when the doctors are being so pessimistic. His employers are going to cut his wages as he's done his full sick pay stint. He's totally dependant on his mum and dad, can't even walk himself down the lane to dh's parents as he doesn't think he'll be able to negotiate the potholes and bushes, not to mention the cars that speed down the lane. His medication is getting on top of him and he's just a mess. I hate the feeling of helplessness that I have right now.

TheEvilDediderata · 17/10/2007 22:08

Yes, it does sound like blindness is his fate.

I would imagine, having not been in such a black hole, that any attempt at jollity would be met with derision. Understandably.

What is is hard-wired temperament? Prior to this enormous set-back to his vision, was he an upbeat person, or someone a little prone to depression?

MorticiasMother · 17/10/2007 22:19

Before this? He was a hard worker, travelled a lot with work. Went to places like Dubai on his hols backpacking. Did the 3 peaks with dh and was due to cycle the Coast to Coast route with friends too. Was very sociable, did quiz night at the pub once a week, organising a holiday for our group of friends at the New Year, we recently all went camping and surfing in Wales. He likes the ladies too and has no real trouble in "pulling". Still single however, has own flat, nice car.

I don't think I could offer anything by way of consolation right now.

FrannyandZooey · 17/10/2007 22:21

Just seen this Rhubarb, am so sorry to hear about it

please keep us updated

TrickorTreat · 17/10/2007 22:25

Oh, no real advice i'm afraid.

I'm trying to wrack my brians for ideas of what you can take him......

Is he a fan of Derek & Clive??????
Something with strong (nice) smells/tastes (to keep his other senses in check)

Is he able to exercise? If cycling is his thing, do you know anyone with an exercise bike that you can borrow to take him?

MorticiasMother · 17/10/2007 22:51

Who is Derek and Clive?

We'll take him some CDs too. Don't have any exercise bikes I'm afraid, I'll have a wander in Asda tomorrow and see what I can pick up. Thanks for all your best wishes.

edam · 17/10/2007 22:55

Oh Rhubs, am so sorry for your friend. Awful bloody thing to happen.

Think Derek and Clive is reference to old comedy routine with Peter Cooke and Dudley Moore - no idea how it's relevant.

TrickorTreat · 17/10/2007 22:57

Yes Dudley Moore and Peter Cook.

Can be quite amusing (if terribly coarse) and will help while away the hours. It is designed for audio only.

edam · 17/10/2007 22:59

My cat was christened Clive by her previous owner. Who was obviously a fan - her sister was called Derek.

TheEvilDediderata · 17/10/2007 23:00

Peter Cook and Dudley Moore, pissed, in the old days. They were Derek and Clive.

No, Rhubarb, not much you can do from an immediate gratification angle.

Just good, solid, loving friendship in the months and years ahead. The regular pulse of knowing that someone cares for you, and respects you. His life is altered, and ultimately, he must come to terms with it.

From what you describe, I think that he will. After all, we all only have two choices. But it certainly helps when people have good friends.

Keep this thread updated when you can. In the meantime, I think I'm off to me bed

MorticiasMother · 17/10/2007 23:01

Hmm, will try to get that Derek and Clive from Amazon then. Thanks!

And I'll keep you updated.

MorticiasMother · 17/10/2007 23:10

Just ordered for him off Amazon, hopefully he'll receive it when he receives the other 2 talking books we ordered a week ago!

VeniVidiVickiQV · 17/10/2007 23:19

Excellent! I hope he's not easily shocked

TheEvilDediderata · 17/10/2007 23:27

Ad Nauseum. That was the name of their greatest production ...

oggsfrog · 18/10/2007 00:19

Derek and Clive an excellent idea. In fact any monologue by Peter Cook. Just farking brilliant. The 'Judges/Miners' monologue is excellent too.

FrannyandZooey · 18/10/2007 09:13

Her sister was called Derek?

MorticiasMother · 18/10/2007 09:20

Huh?
Thanks everyone, will try and get hold of some more Peter Cook stuff for him. We're heading off tomorrow so we can spend a bit more time with him.

Please keep him in your positive thoughts. I've seen the positive thinking power of Mumsnet work wonders, so hopefully it'll work again.

FrannyandZooey · 18/10/2007 09:24

Edam said her cat's previous owner had a sister called Derek.

Rhubarb we will all be thinking of him. I am glad he has got some good friends looking out for him.

JackOLANTERNstini · 18/10/2007 09:37

Will be piling on the positive thoughts then Rhubs. Poor guy.
Cook him a cracking meal/have a lovely takeaway to treat his other senses.
Maybe buy him a really nice shirt that feels great and keeps him looking good? - must be hard for him to choose clothes at the moment and sounds like he is a guy who cares about his appearance.
Once you are back lots of phone calls to let him know he is being thought about. If he is an emotional type & would not mind that you told other people, maybe you could read him this thread?

MorticiasMother · 18/10/2007 21:49

Thanks! He's actually growing a beard and letting himself go as he says he might as well, seeing as he can't see what state he's in!
He'd be mortified if he knew about this thread so I'll not read it out to him. But I suppose it makes me feel less helpless knowing that others are sending out their positive vibes for him.

I looked in Asda for some things to keep him fit and saw a punchbag, I thought that would be great to get rid of his anger and keep him going. Then I thought about how he'd need to see to aim a punch and I could just imagine the thing swinging back at him and knocking him out! So I left Asda empty handed. You don't realise how much you need your eyes do you? When you think of all the things you can buy, 95% of them require you to see before you can use them.

I'm off to see him tomorrow so I'll send an update when I get back, next week sometime.