Babysitting Nightmare - Part 2

[IDismyname]

Ds is now 4, and has always had a real problem with the idea of babysitters. He's quite happy to be left with one during the day, but gets very upset at the idea of someone here while he's asleep. He knows both babysitters that we use, as they're the ones that do the occasional daytime stretch, so there is no problem in him not knowing them.

One of our sitters just said that of course ds just hates the idea of mummy and daddy going out and enjoying ourselves without him!

We are going to a friends house on Sunday night as we're all off to an outdoor concert that evening. Ds will be with the other children - who he's known all his life, and the babysitter coming he also knows. I casually mentioned this evening what was going to happen, and he's already working himself up about it.

I've tried a) sedating him with Calpol, which works, but leaves me feeling that the problem is not solved, and b) telling him straight (but gently) that mummy and daddy need some time together in the evening. Neither works...

Am in slight fear and trepidation now re Sunday.

Does anyone have any advice?

I'd be Sooooo grateful!

You know that he is in safe hands. He will cry when you leave but will probably be fine when you are gone. He may well get up and cry when you get back giving you the impression he has been upset the whole time you have been away. Don't believe him! I have babysat for many a friend with that scenario. Go out, forget about him and enjoy yourselves - he will be FINE

My sons have gone through a crying at being left with trusted and well known babysitter phase. Inevitably the tears dry up within a few minutes of our departure.

I try to say the final goodbye and kiss just the minute before I leave, so as not to prolongue the agony. I try and keep things as light and casual as possible. IME a protracted round of goodbyes leads to even more tears.

You could possibly try saying to your son, in front of the babysitter, that you have your moblie phone with you, so he can still talk to mummy, if he has to. This could open the way for a flood of calls, though my sons don't ring me as a rule. It's just extra reassurance that I am still there for them.

Could you bribe him with a present? Perhaps the babysitter could bring one (that you have already bought) or you could promise to bring him one back. Perhaps if the babysitter is willing they could do something that he isn't normally allowed to do - a special supper or watch a new video before he goes to bed so that it actually becomes a treat to have the babysitter there. My kids like it when we go out because Grandma or Grandad come to babysit and they really see the change in routine as being a treat.