First time I laughed, second time wasn't so funny

[ThomCat]

DD1 emptied the coals and soot all over the front room and herself and DD2.

Gutted!

Dp out and I had a bath and an early night planned.

Oh that's ok, i don't mind this thread being unanswered, I'm only suposed to be at my pre-natal yoga class and instead I'm home alone with a sooty front room, that's just fine!

Oooh dear....a bit of a 'black' evening for you then.....

You and dp could pretend to be chimney sweeps for your 'early night'. He could say, ''Ello vMary Poppins'...new dimension to the pirate noises thread

Oh no - YUCK!!!! That reminds my why I have a fake coal fire.

Hope your dh is out somewhere nice and will give you a nice massage when he gets in!

Sorry, but it is funny, really really funny

why have you coals and soot in May?
Are you in Scotland?

Oh, I misread your op as 'dp and I had an early night planned'

Oh no! My ds is drawn to the coals at my mum's house too, what's the big attraction eh? Can you leave it for dp?

I ust picked up my boot from the floor and there's a perfect imprint of my boot left!

I don't think my bath will ever be white agin it's so black.

DD1 once again litrerally painted DD2 with it.

I walked in and just cried out 'noooo' and DD1 replied 'look mummy, mess'. ohhh no shit sherlock!

pmsl

Right hub, that's it, you just wait!

TC - have you been analysing your 'carbon footprint'?

I suppose you think you're funny!

So, how exactly does one clean up soot?

My dad did it last time!

Vacuum cleaner, surely ?

Call your dad?

Yeah but a vacum cleaner isn't going to clean the carpet. It'll get up the small chunks and crumbs or coal and some of the dust but my carpet is going to be grey still afterwards.

Oh bollocks! I wanted to be a lazy slut this evening!

LOL Flamesparrow - I''ve been thinking of doing that ever since it happened!

Tis very much a dad job.

That and coming to jump start you when you've left your lights on!

Either a domestic or commercial vacuum cleaner / wet and dry will be needed for the carpet unless you want to haul its ass outside, hang it on the washing line and beat it with a tennis racquet till tears of exasperation roll down your face.

Call one of those 'three pice suite cleaner' companies tomorrow - just get a price for the one room !

Oh I can't bear it!

I'm putting the house on the market tomorrow!

You won't be able to sell it. You'll have to give it away. You will have to write at length about the damage in your Property Information Pack thingy too.

My dad said he'd come over at 11am to help so I got back here at 10.50. He'd got here at 10.30 and done it all for me already!

I love my dad!