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Original poster

Letting children do a wee in the garden

77 replies

emkana · 09/08/2004 23:07

When dd1 was one I had a friend round whose dd was nearly three and fully toilet-trained at the time. She asked me if her dd could do a wee in my garden, as this was what she would do at home when playing outside. I said 'not really' and I think the look on my face said it all. My friend thought I was being silly and that I would know better once my dd1 got older, but now my dd1 is three and toilet-trained herself I still wouldn't dream of letting her pee in my, let alone anybody else's garden - I would only let her wee somewhere other than on a toilet in an emergency.
What about everybody else?

OP posts:
leander · 09/08/2004 23:12

I have let my ds wee in the grid in the garden but that is because when he is playing he usually forgets he needs a wee till he is absolutely desperate. I wouldn't let him wee in anyone elses garden though. I do remeber him squatting in his nannas garden saying he wanted a poo i was mortified. he is 2 1/2.

Linnet · 09/08/2004 23:19

My dd has never done a wee in our garden or anybody elses and I wouldn't let her either. And I certainly wouldn't let anybody elses child wee in my garden.

BadHair · 09/08/2004 23:20

Ds1 does wees in the garden, but gets in big trouble for it.
I don't like it for 2 reasons - firstly because his little brother still falls over a lot and I don't want him putting his hands in wee, and secondly because our garden is overlooked on most sides and I don't want anyone watching him. Oh, and thirdly, if he does one in the garden he doesn't wash his hands afterwards.

KateandtheGirls · 09/08/2004 23:21

If there's a perfectly good toilet in the vicinity (and I assume there is), then of course she should use it. It's different when you're driving and need to make a pit stop at the side of the road, but not in someone's garden.

Kayleigh · 09/08/2004 23:23

My boys (age 6 and 3) wee behind the shed if they are out in the garden and need to go. This started like leanders ds when they were being toilet trained and wouldn't have been able to get inside in time. It's the same if we are in a park and they need to go. If there is no public convenience around they will go behind trees. tbh I don't see what the fuss is about.

juniper68 · 09/08/2004 23:23

DS2 does them in our garden if I don't catch him but no way would I allow him to do it in someone elses
I was once at an aquaintances house and she kept throwing the potty wee out in the garden next to her neighbours fence and making a joke out of it with the neighbour. They don't speak now though

KateandtheGirls · 09/08/2004 23:25

It's also a little different for girls and boys. It's a bit easier for boys to go whenever and wherever they need to. Still wouldn't want it in my garden though!

Tanzie · 10/08/2004 00:19

DD1 had a friend round this week (with her Mum). Friend (who is nearly 6) got out of the paddling pool and had a pee on the grass (through her cossie) before jumping back in the pool. I must have looked revolted as her her mum just said, oh, she does this all the time at home.

I had the feeling that perhaps I should have been grateful she didn't do it in the pool!!

Ghosty · 10/08/2004 02:08

I agree with you all. When DS was potty training we didn't mind so much if he needed to go and didn't have time to run to the toilet but that lasted about a month and then he had to go inside to the toilet. I too have a friend whose 5 year old and 2 year old boys are allowed to wee in the garden but I think it is a pretty revolting thing to do.
I also hate it when children wee in the bath and wee in a swimming pool ... the mother of a boy in DS' swimming class was most impressed when DS got out of the pool to go to the toilet to do a wee when he was 3 and a half ... she told me that she told her son to wee in the pool! Mmmmm, that's nice for the rest of the children isn't it?????

bloss · 10/08/2004 04:16

Message withdrawn

FairyMum · 10/08/2004 06:58

My DS (3) wees outside when he is naked. He is only partly tilet trained. I don't see the fuss either. It's not like they will continue to wee outside until adulthood. I wouldn't let him wee in other peoples gardens, but he sometimes wees on the beech and of course he wees in the pool. Most kids do I think and I remember doing it myself. The chlorine is worse for the kiddies than a bit of wee anyway.....

throckenholt · 10/08/2004 07:40

my DS1 is just 3 and just toilet trained (well getting there). The only way we cracked the toilet training was to let him wee in the garden - for 2 reasons - he was out there a lot and couldn't get to the loo quickly enough (very big garden), and he enjoyed it and we were trying to encourage him taking control of weeing.

It was much better to build his confidence and stop him weeing in his pants. Now he usually uses the loo, but not always. (Poos are a different matter - very big encouragement to do those in the loo ).

I am not sure what the big deal is ? Wee is sterile, and will drain into the soil very quickly.

honeybunny · 10/08/2004 07:45

ds1 is a bit more controlled and will only wee on the boundaries. (Garden is about 1/3 acre size) ds2 is a menace and just drops his shorts when and where. I do get cross with him, but he's learning (been potty trained for about 6weeks or so and is still only 2.4mo) so I tolerate it up to a point. Wont let him do it in other people's gdn without permission, but I tend to be more vigilant with asking so get him to the loo in time when we are out.

coppertop · 10/08/2004 08:30

If there's a toilet nearby and the child is fully toilet-trained then I would say use the toilet. In any case I wouldn't want ds1 & ds2 using someone else's garden as a toilet.

Twiglett · 10/08/2004 08:35

message withdrawn

Hulababy · 10/08/2004 08:38

I wouldn't want my DD or anyone else's DD/DS weeing in my garden when there was a perfectly useable toilet nearby. Before DD has so much control I just took her potty outside for her. I just think it sets bad habits. At what age does it become less acceptable? And how do you explain that to a child?

throckenholt · 10/08/2004 08:44

when they have the self control to be able to get to the loo ! Hopefully that is before they become adults

Hulababy · 10/08/2004 08:48

But my DD is 2y 4 and she already has enough control to walk 2 or 3 minutes to the toilet???

Infact for us weeing in the garden isn't a possibility anyway. It is a shared roof top garden and I certainly can't imagine the other residents here being impressed with it. Hence we take her potty if necessary or shee comes back up to the apartment - 4 or 5 minutes maximum?

Maybe I am too strict about things like this then. Just didn't occur to me why anyoine would want to let their children wee in the garden unless an emergency.

Jimjams · 10/08/2004 08:59

Well I wouldn't let ds1 wee in the garden- just because I don't know how I'd explain to him that a garden was OK but a busy shopping street wasn't. Wouldn't worry too much about ds2 weeing in our garden, but would encourage him to use the loo in someone elses!

Mind you at the moment I'm just grateful if ds1 doesn't poo on the floor and then smear it everywhere......

aloha · 10/08/2004 10:07

If my ds who is nearly three doesn't have his nappy on, he wees anywhere and can't help himself. So yes, he has weed in the garden, and if he was nappyless is someone else's garden, would wee there too. However, if he was toilet trained (sigh!), I'd personally encourage him to use the loo at other people's houses.

Northerner · 10/08/2004 10:11

We went to MIL's for a family BBQ on Sunday and there were six kids all running round stark naked, playing in the paddling pool having a whale of a time, and I think at some point they all weed in the garden. Not a problem to me really.

princesspeahead · 10/08/2004 10:13

What is wrong with weeing in the garden?!! I suppose if it is a very small garden and/or paved it wouldn't be on, but otherwise? My dog pees in the garden, why can't my children? One of life's simple pleasures, outdoor weeing.

Dh pees in the garden too!

iota · 10/08/2004 10:15

On teh first day of training, I potty-trained ds1 in the garden - took the potty outside and kept it to hand.
Also got ds1 to do his first standing-up wee in the garden as was worried about over-spray.

But neither ds1 or ds2 ever use the garden now.

iota · 10/08/2004 10:17

pph -my cat wees in our garden (and everyone elses) but, as it is a housing estate postage-stamp sized garden, I think it might smell a bit if the 3 males of the house joined in

princesspeahead · 10/08/2004 10:20

Yes, I can see that.
And it might put off the cat..!